6 ms·

I went on Tinder again for the first time in several years and they just keep adding new 'Premium' memberships for men to pay for, it's insane. Tinder Plus, Tin

I went on Tinder again for the first time in several years and they just keep adding new 'Premium' memberships for men to pay for, it's insane. Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, Tinder Platinum, Tinder Super Like, Tinder Boost, Tinder Super Boost, Tinder Top Picks. They're making a sh*t ton of money (highest grossing app 2019) off mostly men's desperation (~$1.4 billion in 2019 reportedly), but there's only so much paying for all these boosts and memberships can do when there's just so much more demand for women on there. Tinder is also reportedly as much as 75-85% male. I hope young men aren't letting their lack of matches on the dating apps lower their self esteem/make them depressed and try approaching in real life (post-pandemic). I know for some the feeling of getting close to 0 matches while others get hundreds a day can be crushing to their mental health. But real life is much better, don't let a lack of online success (what's the point, she wouldn't swipe me online so why should I approach her?) stop you from approaching women in real life .

BerislavLopac 5y ago
It certainly feels like seeking.com is the only honest dating app out there...
commandlinefan 5y ago
Well... before the internet, if you wanted to meet somebody you probably went to a nightclub, paid $20 to get in, and then $15-$20 per drink so you wouldn't be wandering around without a drink in your hand. A lot of these places had cover charges for men but not for women, so they were making money off mostly men's desperation, too.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- Mediterraneo10 5y ago
  > if you wanted to meet somebody you probably went to a nightclub I'm sure that I have seen somewhere here before some hard statistics on where partners meet in Western countries – maybe someone still has a link. In spite of the existence of known meat markets, those meat markets are not the source of most of the population’s relationships. Instead, people come together through mundane things like friends of friends, people at work, people in the neighbourhood, classmates, etc.
  - purplecats 5y ago
    It doesn't seem _mundane_, it seems safe. They meet via social proof rather than via randomness.
  - pcbro141 5y ago
    This Stanford study (2017) says 39% of hetero couples meet online today. Wow, that's really high if true: https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/ https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-...
    - throwaway0a5e 5y ago
      Waste enough time flinging pigeons at the wall and eventually they all end up in holes. If everyone spends a stupid amount of time with online dating then that's where a lot of the matches are gonna be even if it's not an efficient way to get that end result.
      - EForEndeavour 5y ago
        How do you measure efficiency? Isn't "eventually leads to significant other" a relevant metric? If couples are finding each other online more than they are elsewhere, then online matchmaking is outperforming offline channels.
    - dvfjsdhgfv 5y ago
      "Online" is not equivalent to using a dating app.
  - atmosx 5y ago
    The club thing is popularized by ads, movies, video clips, etc. It is not as common as TV makes it to be.
  - interestica 5y ago
    College as a Marriage Market https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26923692 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26923692
- mdorazio 5y ago
  Only if by “meet somebody” you mean for casual sex only. If you wanted an actual girlfriend you were (and probably still are) better off meeting through friends or in-person activities that demonstrate actual shared interests beyond getting drunk.
  - deanCommie 5y ago
    This is a bit old-fashioned... "Getting drunk with friends" is an in-person activity. The point isn't getting drunk, the point is to socialize with barriers of anxiety and inhibitions lowered. There are plenty of people who want to ensure physical compatibility for a long term relationship as much as emotional one. Society deems one "shallow", but for many people sex is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and just because they are willing to sleep with someone liberally does not mean they are also not interested in something deeper.
    - CoastalCoder 5y ago
      Sorry for the tangent, but can someone elaborate on what it means to be "physically compatible"? I'm assuming it doesn't mean being capable of basic sexual activity, because that seems like a given for 90% of potential couples. I.e., not something you'd really need to "test". And if it means "capable of giving each other a really enjoyable sexual experience", I wouldn't think that's something you can falsify in just 1-2 dates. Because there's a learning curve, and that takes (among other things) time and practice.
      - Mediterraneo10 5y ago
        > I'm assuming it doesn't mean being capable of basic sexual activity, because that seems like a given for 90% of potential couples I would suspect that more than 10% of women complain about a male partner being unwilling to perform oral sex on them, or bad at it, even though this might be very important for them and the main way they can orgasm. Men, too, complain about women’s ability or receptiveness to things they need for satisfying sex.
      - deanCommie 5y ago
- pmoriarty 5y ago
  "and then $15-$20 per drink so you wouldn't be wandering around without a drink in your hand" Wow. This is the first time I've heard anyone express this concern. It boggles my mind that anyone would care about being seen without a drink in their hand. What consequences do you imagine will come from that?
  - grecy 5y ago
    Personally I don't think there are consequences, but I just feel way less confident and conspicuous when I don't have a drink in my hand. Like I don't belong somehow. I'm sure it's all in my head, but there it is. I trick I learned long ago at house parties or BBQs is to drink one beer, then constantly re-fill it with water for the rest of the time. That way I have something to hold onto and a way to entertain myself where there is a lull in conversation or whatever.
    - anticristi 5y ago
      Noted!
  - deanCommie 5y ago
    If you're wandering with a drink in your hand you have plausible deniability that you are just drinking and wandering. If you are just walking around without a drink, then you're stalking/leering. Of course it's much more nuanced than that - you can look like a lecherous creep stalking woman with a drink in your hand just as easily. But that would be the premise: With a drink you don't need anything else to have a good time, you're already "doing something". Without, you're literally trying to fill a void.
    - pmoriarty 5y ago
      "If you're wandering with a drink in your hand you have plausible deniability that you are just drinking and wandering. If you are just walking around without a drink, then you're stalking/leering." Is this how you think of others, or do you imagine that's how they think of you? For me, whether or not someone has a drink in their hand, if they're in a party or a club or a bar they're all doing basically the same thing: wandering, listening, looking to meet and talk to people. I really don't get why holding a drink would change any of that.
- est31 5y ago
  The charges of the venue itself might be higher for the men but women usually spend a lot more time and money on makeup, care products, hair dressers, nails, clothing, etc. Also note that when you go with a traditional "man is the provider" model, then being in an environment where men have demonstrated their provider ability is beneficial for both parties. For the women as the options are pre-filtered and for the men as there is less competition noise. As for dating apps/online dating... if you look at user statistics you see a strong gender imbalance, so apparently men want to use them far more than women do. I've heard this situation expressed in terms of those apps being less appealing to women than they are to men. However, due to the imbalance, the premise of these apps is essentially broken for most male users.
  - P_I_Staker 5y ago
    > women usually spend a lot more time and money on makeup, care products, hair dressers, nails, clothing, etc. I don't think they really do that "to get a man", though
  - vmception 5y ago
    > For the women as the options are pre-filtered and for the men as there is less competition noise I mostly go into and create circumstances where the same is true of the women, pre-filtered. One thing I liked about being on my promoter acquaintances' VIP tables is that the women also at the table have been pre-filtered like 4 or 5 times before I ever see them. 1. State department -> 2. Host family (with heavy input choice by the husband) -> 3. Promoter -> 4. Doorman (who would definitely reject guys and gals alike, no matter what name they dropped) -> 5. me. So yes in that environment, there is also even less competition noise amongst men, because we wouldn't ever fight over a woman given the quantity and only chuckle at our predictably similar preferences if a pattern emerged. But, the selective evolution at play is much more extreme than the general population or the rest of the club. and yeah, that also allows us to inherit the social validation and assumptions about our ability to provide that many women would also look for, which would be convenient enough to never think about. In quantity, some people are just more forward and assertive than others, so with a lot of women now competing for attention instead of men, this has been a much more optimal use of energy for men. Occasionally relationships are nice too, this wasn't about that.
- missedthecue 5y ago
  Male desperation and female vanity seem to be evergreen industries
- eddof13 5y ago
  I think people get this pretty wrong. As for the drinks, you can get a mineral water with lime if you need a drink in your hand. The point of the cover charge for men is to: Increase the barrier to entry, keep the riff-raff out and maintain a certain level of male clientele. This improves male to female ratio, improves the likelihood of females attending because they have better environment (you should love ladies night- you are paying for the club/bar to set out the bait) and better options to pick from. The higher the cover the less likely you will get into a fight over talking to the wrong girl. I used to hate cover charges but then I realized like most people I got it all backwards. It's only desperation if you pay the cover, buy the drinks, only to not take proper advantage of it.
- RobRivera 5y ago
  I can assure you the nightclub is not the only venue where you can meet a new life partner. nor is it a place you want to.
pudmaidai 5y ago
> men’s desperation I don’t know, if $10 get me a girlfriend in a week without leaving my couch that’s money well spent. Regarding the evolution of Tinder, I also despise all the options they added while slowly making the default worse. It got to the point that I don’t use Tinder at all because it’s become nearly useless for me at the moment. Probably because I have better options elsewhere.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- ta9999 5y ago
  So tinder is essentially iPimp at this point, except the women get 0%.
  - pudmaidai 5y ago
    If you’re in the camp that considers every PIV as rape, sure. Every action can be bent into something ominous-sounding: There’s a small group of people in DC forcing a whole country to follow their rules “or else”. Women here get to choose, it’s hardly pimping.
  - missedthecue 5y ago
    Not sure that's a fair comparison. As far as I can tell, Tinder doesn't physically assault the women who don't match frequently enough.
wsc981 5y ago
It's so pointless for most men anyways, as women compete for the top 10% of men (woman get plenty of options on those platforms anyways) while men might compete for maybe 90% of women. I know my brother would just swipe "yes" to pretty much all women, hoping at least a few women would respond. And I bet he's not alone in doing this.
- deanCommie 5y ago
  I'm sure it's just a second language thing, but it's interesting that you use the plural of "men" but the singular "woman". Is that more grammatically appropriate in your first language?
  - AnotherGoodName 5y ago
    Woman in the above case doesn't at all read correctly. It's simply a clear cut spelling mistake and not really worth further discussion.
  - wsc981 5y ago
    > I'm sure it's just a second language thing, Thanks for your comment and I fixed the typos in my earlier post. English is indeed not my native language, but I should have noticed this spelling mistake, since I use English most every day. In my first language (Dutch) there is a clear distinction between singular and plural (men: man - mannen, women: vrouw - vrouwen).
- vmception 5y ago
  In Tinder, all of the Match Group near monopoly, and similar style apps, this behavior ensures you get less of the people you want to see. Basically just like in multiplayer game matchmaking, you get matched with people of a similar rank and never even see the people of different ranks. So if you yourself are matching people of lower ranks (ie. less visually attractive people, you know what the consensus is whether that matches your preference or not), that means you yourself have a lower rank and are not even shown to people with higher ranks. You might see higher ranked people, might super like them (like everyone else), might form clever a message because you paid for that feature too, but they will never see your profile. There are articles claiming the dating apps don't do this kind of ranked matchmaking anymore, but did you know they even used to? so yeah imagine believing them. These apps are not good for your mental health, and your own behavior influences other people's ranks whether you wanted it to or not. Caveat emptor.
throwaway0a5e 5y ago
The older I get the more I come to realize that Dan Jenkins wisdom about aircraft, watercraft and similar financial shackles was spot on. Having a good business relationship with Penske takes quite a bit of pressure off when you're shopping for a used box truck if you catch my drift.
- pcbro141 5y ago
  I do think 'pay for play' will become more common among younger men (20s/30s as opposed to stereotypically older men) as fewer men get married/have children, still not legal in Canada or the US though. I think with the rise of sexless young men, and decreasing interest in marriage/kids, pay for play could sound like an increasingly attractive option for a lot of young men to get some intimacy.
  - wsc981 5y ago
    It’s also convenient, especially for men that regard themselves as part of the MGTOW movement. Just the fun without any of the shackles. Keep more time available for your own hobbies and interests. If I’d ever separate from my current girlfriend, I would probably stick with ‘pay for play’ and not bother looking for a new girlfriend.
- CoastalCoder 5y ago
  > if you catch my drift. Try as I might, I honestly cannot catch your drift on this one. Can you restate this with a non-car analogy?
  - pcbro141 5y ago
    https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9622552-if-it-flies-floats-or-fornicates-always-rent-it-it-s https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9622552-if-it-flies-floats-...
    - throwaway0a5e 5y ago
      Yup, that's it. I thought it was a Dan Jenkins quote.
notyourday 5y ago
I disagree. If 20 years ago it was rare for romantic/sexual partners to meet online vs in person, the trend is now reversed. We are now in a fully democratized app dating landscape. It therefore stands to reason that the same people who were successful at converting meetings in person would be successful at converting online as the skills are essentially the same.
- pcbro141 5y ago
  Depends on the app, but Tinder for example is reportedly up to 80% male. That fact alone condemns most men seeking relationships on there, there's simply not enough women on there for every guy no matter how much 'game' you have.
  - notyourday 5y ago
    4:1 is a rather typical night club/bar ratio.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
behnamoh 5y ago
I stopped paying for Tinder, Bumble, Match, etc. when I discovered that they tell me someone liked my profile just moments after the monthly subscription ends. That way, you're more incentivized to subscribe again, and again, ... It's a shady business and I'm sure others have noticed it too (esp. on Bumble and Tinder).
barbazoo 5y ago
> Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, Tinder Platinum, Tinder Super Like, Tinder Boost, Tinder Super Boost, Tinder Top Picks I can't tell whether you're joking which in itself is hilarious to me.
- pcbro141 5y ago
  I'm dead serious: https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/sections/115001014406-Premium-Features https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/sections/115001014406-P... https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004487406-Tinder-Subscriptions https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004487406-T...
compsciphd 5y ago
I don't have proof of this, but I strongly suspect that either tinder creates fake profiles or they do a piss poor job of removing fake profiles from their site. why? Its hard to tell in the US, but it areas with strong sectarian separation, you see profiles that are just "weird" if not fake. I.e. I'm in Israel. if I see a profile of someone who wrote their name in hebrew (and a jewishy name at that), but it says they went to Al Quds University it just doesn't make sense. Is it possible? sure, i guess, but it would seem more probable that someone just sicked a profile generator choosing random universities in the general area with pictures from the internet.

BerislavLopac 5y ago

It certainly feels like seeking.com is the only honest dating app out there...

commandlinefan 5y ago

Well... before the internet, if you wanted to meet somebody you probably went to a nightclub, paid $20 to get in, and then $15-$20 per drink so you wouldn't be wandering around without a drink in your hand. A lot of these places had cover charges for men but not for women, so they were making money off mostly men's desperation, too.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
Mediterraneo10 5y ago
> if you wanted to meet somebody you probably went to a nightclub I'm sure that I have seen somewhere here before some hard statistics on where partners meet in Western countries – maybe someone still has a link. In spite of the existence of known meat markets, those meat markets are not the source of most of the population’s relationships. Instead, people come together through mundane things like friends of friends, people at work, people in the neighbourhood, classmates, etc.
- purplecats 5y ago
  It doesn't seem _mundane_, it seems safe. They meet via social proof rather than via randomness.
- pcbro141 5y ago
  This Stanford study (2017) says 39% of hetero couples meet online today. Wow, that's really high if true: https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/ https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-...
  - throwaway0a5e 5y ago
    Waste enough time flinging pigeons at the wall and eventually they all end up in holes. If everyone spends a stupid amount of time with online dating then that's where a lot of the matches are gonna be even if it's not an efficient way to get that end result.
    - EForEndeavour 5y ago
      How do you measure efficiency? Isn't "eventually leads to significant other" a relevant metric? If couples are finding each other online more than they are elsewhere, then online matchmaking is outperforming offline channels.
  - dvfjsdhgfv 5y ago
    "Online" is not equivalent to using a dating app.
- atmosx 5y ago
  The club thing is popularized by ads, movies, video clips, etc. It is not as common as TV makes it to be.
- interestica 5y ago
  College as a Marriage Market https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26923692 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26923692
mdorazio 5y ago
Only if by “meet somebody” you mean for casual sex only. If you wanted an actual girlfriend you were (and probably still are) better off meeting through friends or in-person activities that demonstrate actual shared interests beyond getting drunk.
- deanCommie 5y ago
  This is a bit old-fashioned... "Getting drunk with friends" is an in-person activity. The point isn't getting drunk, the point is to socialize with barriers of anxiety and inhibitions lowered. There are plenty of people who want to ensure physical compatibility for a long term relationship as much as emotional one. Society deems one "shallow", but for many people sex is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and just because they are willing to sleep with someone liberally does not mean they are also not interested in something deeper.
  - CoastalCoder 5y ago
    Sorry for the tangent, but can someone elaborate on what it means to be "physically compatible"? I'm assuming it doesn't mean being capable of basic sexual activity, because that seems like a given for 90% of potential couples. I.e., not something you'd really need to "test". And if it means "capable of giving each other a really enjoyable sexual experience", I wouldn't think that's something you can falsify in just 1-2 dates. Because there's a learning curve, and that takes (among other things) time and practice.
    - Mediterraneo10 5y ago
      > I'm assuming it doesn't mean being capable of basic sexual activity, because that seems like a given for 90% of potential couples I would suspect that more than 10% of women complain about a male partner being unwilling to perform oral sex on them, or bad at it, even though this might be very important for them and the main way they can orgasm. Men, too, complain about women’s ability or receptiveness to things they need for satisfying sex.
    - deanCommie 5y ago
pmoriarty 5y ago
"and then $15-$20 per drink so you wouldn't be wandering around without a drink in your hand" Wow. This is the first time I've heard anyone express this concern. It boggles my mind that anyone would care about being seen without a drink in their hand. What consequences do you imagine will come from that?
- grecy 5y ago
  Personally I don't think there are consequences, but I just feel way less confident and conspicuous when I don't have a drink in my hand. Like I don't belong somehow. I'm sure it's all in my head, but there it is. I trick I learned long ago at house parties or BBQs is to drink one beer, then constantly re-fill it with water for the rest of the time. That way I have something to hold onto and a way to entertain myself where there is a lull in conversation or whatever.
  - anticristi 5y ago
    Noted!
- deanCommie 5y ago
  If you're wandering with a drink in your hand you have plausible deniability that you are just drinking and wandering. If you are just walking around without a drink, then you're stalking/leering. Of course it's much more nuanced than that - you can look like a lecherous creep stalking woman with a drink in your hand just as easily. But that would be the premise: With a drink you don't need anything else to have a good time, you're already "doing something". Without, you're literally trying to fill a void.
  - pmoriarty 5y ago
    "If you're wandering with a drink in your hand you have plausible deniability that you are just drinking and wandering. If you are just walking around without a drink, then you're stalking/leering." Is this how you think of others, or do you imagine that's how they think of you? For me, whether or not someone has a drink in their hand, if they're in a party or a club or a bar they're all doing basically the same thing: wandering, listening, looking to meet and talk to people. I really don't get why holding a drink would change any of that.
est31 5y ago
The charges of the venue itself might be higher for the men but women usually spend a lot more time and money on makeup, care products, hair dressers, nails, clothing, etc. Also note that when you go with a traditional "man is the provider" model, then being in an environment where men have demonstrated their provider ability is beneficial for both parties. For the women as the options are pre-filtered and for the men as there is less competition noise. As for dating apps/online dating... if you look at user statistics you see a strong gender imbalance, so apparently men want to use them far more than women do. I've heard this situation expressed in terms of those apps being less appealing to women than they are to men. However, due to the imbalance, the premise of these apps is essentially broken for most male users.
- P_I_Staker 5y ago
  > women usually spend a lot more time and money on makeup, care products, hair dressers, nails, clothing, etc. I don't think they really do that "to get a man", though
- vmception 5y ago
  > For the women as the options are pre-filtered and for the men as there is less competition noise I mostly go into and create circumstances where the same is true of the women, pre-filtered. One thing I liked about being on my promoter acquaintances' VIP tables is that the women also at the table have been pre-filtered like 4 or 5 times before I ever see them. 1. State department -> 2. Host family (with heavy input choice by the husband) -> 3. Promoter -> 4. Doorman (who would definitely reject guys and gals alike, no matter what name they dropped) -> 5. me. So yes in that environment, there is also even less competition noise amongst men, because we wouldn't ever fight over a woman given the quantity and only chuckle at our predictably similar preferences if a pattern emerged. But, the selective evolution at play is much more extreme than the general population or the rest of the club. and yeah, that also allows us to inherit the social validation and assumptions about our ability to provide that many women would also look for, which would be convenient enough to never think about. In quantity, some people are just more forward and assertive than others, so with a lot of women now competing for attention instead of men, this has been a much more optimal use of energy for men. Occasionally relationships are nice too, this wasn't about that.
missedthecue 5y ago
Male desperation and female vanity seem to be evergreen industries
eddof13 5y ago
I think people get this pretty wrong. As for the drinks, you can get a mineral water with lime if you need a drink in your hand. The point of the cover charge for men is to: Increase the barrier to entry, keep the riff-raff out and maintain a certain level of male clientele. This improves male to female ratio, improves the likelihood of females attending because they have better environment (you should love ladies night- you are paying for the club/bar to set out the bait) and better options to pick from. The higher the cover the less likely you will get into a fight over talking to the wrong girl. I used to hate cover charges but then I realized like most people I got it all backwards. It's only desperation if you pay the cover, buy the drinks, only to not take proper advantage of it.
RobRivera 5y ago
I can assure you the nightclub is not the only venue where you can meet a new life partner. nor is it a place you want to.

pudmaidai 5y ago

> men’s desperation I don’t know, if $10 get me a girlfriend in a week without leaving my couch that’s money well spent. Regarding the evolution of Tinder, I also despise all the options they added while slowly making the default worse. It got to the point that I don’t use Tinder at all because it’s become nearly useless for me at the moment. Probably because I have better options elsewhere.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
ta9999 5y ago
So tinder is essentially iPimp at this point, except the women get 0%.
- pudmaidai 5y ago
  If you’re in the camp that considers every PIV as rape, sure. Every action can be bent into something ominous-sounding: There’s a small group of people in DC forcing a whole country to follow their rules “or else”. Women here get to choose, it’s hardly pimping.
- missedthecue 5y ago
  Not sure that's a fair comparison. As far as I can tell, Tinder doesn't physically assault the women who don't match frequently enough.

wsc981 5y ago

It's so pointless for most men anyways, as women compete for the top 10% of men (woman get plenty of options on those platforms anyways) while men might compete for maybe 90% of women. I know my brother would just swipe "yes" to pretty much all women, hoping at least a few women would respond. And I bet he's not alone in doing this.

deanCommie 5y ago
I'm sure it's just a second language thing, but it's interesting that you use the plural of "men" but the singular "woman". Is that more grammatically appropriate in your first language?
- AnotherGoodName 5y ago
  Woman in the above case doesn't at all read correctly. It's simply a clear cut spelling mistake and not really worth further discussion.
- wsc981 5y ago
  > I'm sure it's just a second language thing, Thanks for your comment and I fixed the typos in my earlier post. English is indeed not my native language, but I should have noticed this spelling mistake, since I use English most every day. In my first language (Dutch) there is a clear distinction between singular and plural (men: man - mannen, women: vrouw - vrouwen).
vmception 5y ago
In Tinder, all of the Match Group near monopoly, and similar style apps, this behavior ensures you get less of the people you want to see. Basically just like in multiplayer game matchmaking, you get matched with people of a similar rank and never even see the people of different ranks. So if you yourself are matching people of lower ranks (ie. less visually attractive people, you know what the consensus is whether that matches your preference or not), that means you yourself have a lower rank and are not even shown to people with higher ranks. You might see higher ranked people, might super like them (like everyone else), might form clever a message because you paid for that feature too, but they will never see your profile. There are articles claiming the dating apps don't do this kind of ranked matchmaking anymore, but did you know they even used to? so yeah imagine believing them. These apps are not good for your mental health, and your own behavior influences other people's ranks whether you wanted it to or not. Caveat emptor.

throwaway0a5e 5y ago

The older I get the more I come to realize that Dan Jenkins wisdom about aircraft, watercraft and similar financial shackles was spot on. Having a good business relationship with Penske takes quite a bit of pressure off when you're shopping for a used box truck if you catch my drift.

pcbro141 5y ago
I do think 'pay for play' will become more common among younger men (20s/30s as opposed to stereotypically older men) as fewer men get married/have children, still not legal in Canada or the US though. I think with the rise of sexless young men, and decreasing interest in marriage/kids, pay for play could sound like an increasingly attractive option for a lot of young men to get some intimacy.
- wsc981 5y ago
  It’s also convenient, especially for men that regard themselves as part of the MGTOW movement. Just the fun without any of the shackles. Keep more time available for your own hobbies and interests. If I’d ever separate from my current girlfriend, I would probably stick with ‘pay for play’ and not bother looking for a new girlfriend.
CoastalCoder 5y ago
> if you catch my drift. Try as I might, I honestly cannot catch your drift on this one. Can you restate this with a non-car analogy?
- pcbro141 5y ago
  https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9622552-if-it-flies-floats-or-fornicates-always-rent-it-it-s https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9622552-if-it-flies-floats-...
  - throwaway0a5e 5y ago
    Yup, that's it. I thought it was a Dan Jenkins quote.

notyourday 5y ago

I disagree. If 20 years ago it was rare for romantic/sexual partners to meet online vs in person, the trend is now reversed. We are now in a fully democratized app dating landscape. It therefore stands to reason that the same people who were successful at converting meetings in person would be successful at converting online as the skills are essentially the same.

pcbro141 5y ago
Depends on the app, but Tinder for example is reportedly up to 80% male. That fact alone condemns most men seeking relationships on there, there's simply not enough women on there for every guy no matter how much 'game' you have.
- notyourday 5y ago
  4:1 is a rather typical night club/bar ratio.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

behnamoh 5y ago

I stopped paying for Tinder, Bumble, Match, etc. when I discovered that they tell me someone liked my profile just moments after the monthly subscription ends. That way, you're more incentivized to subscribe again, and again, ... It's a shady business and I'm sure others have noticed it too (esp. on Bumble and Tinder).

barbazoo 5y ago

> Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, Tinder Platinum, Tinder Super Like, Tinder Boost, Tinder Super Boost, Tinder Top Picks I can't tell whether you're joking which in itself is hilarious to me.

pcbro141 5y ago
I'm dead serious: https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/sections/115001014406-Premium-Features https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/sections/115001014406-P... https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004487406-Tinder-Subscriptions https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004487406-T...

compsciphd 5y ago

I don't have proof of this, but I strongly suspect that either tinder creates fake profiles or they do a piss poor job of removing fake profiles from their site. why? Its hard to tell in the US, but it areas with strong sectarian separation, you see profiles that are just "weird" if not fake. I.e. I'm in Israel. if I see a profile of someone who wrote their name in hebrew (and a jewishy name at that), but it says they went to Al Quds University it just doesn't make sense. Is it possible? sure, i guess, but it would seem more probable that someone just sicked a profile generator choosing random universities in the general area with pictures from the internet.