4 ms·

I'd wager that one of the big variables is proximity. At college, you eat, go out, party, study and do all of the mundane stuff together with a close group of p

by yoz-y 6y ago

I'd wager that one of the big variables is proximity. At college, you eat, go out, party, study and do all of the mundane stuff together with a close group of people. At work, after hours you may go get some drinks, but you are not going to go buy TP together.

b0afc375b5 6y ago
For some reason I've had this long standing belief that love is just a function of proximity. I think I've subconsciously made it one of my goals in life to disprove this, by finding someone on the other side of the world. I'm not getting my hopes up though.
- matwood 6y ago
  > function of proximity. If you define proximity as spending time together IRL or virtually, then I agree.
- Ayesh 6y ago
  > finding someone on the other side of the world First hand experience is that it can be very rewarding if the wave lengths match. It opens a whole new world of experiences and thinking patterns. It takes a lot more commitment than, say, a relationship with someone from same college/town, so it takes more awareness about the fact.
- indigochill 6y ago
  I've heard a similar argument and I don't think it's entirely wrong, but I think the function is a little more complicated. Because when you spend enough time around anyone, you realize they suck (because everyone does). So some degree of grace is required as well to maintain love once the proximity factor has peaked.
  - k__ 6y ago
    I think, it's about perceived proximity (car, train, and plane, help to lower that) and the kind of relationship you want. I have two girlfriends who live two train hours away from me. As the two implies, I'm not living a regular relationship, so I'm inclined to go to greater lengths when finding someone that fits.
    - sarakayakomzin 6y ago
      >I have two girlfriends who live two train hours away from me. As the two implies, I'm not living a regular relationship, so I'm inclined to go to greater lengths when finding someone that fits. I have to take a train to find someone who will fuck me is certainly a weird argument to make.
- oflanac52 6y ago
  Already disproved it (and many many many others), First 4 years of my relationship spent living in different countries. After college we moved in together. I think proximity is only a small part of it at least in a Facetime enabled world.
- mettamage 6y ago
  See also the mere exposure effect. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere-exposure_effect#:~:text=The%20mere%2Dexposure%20effect%20is,sometimes%20called%20the%20familiarity%20principle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere-exposure_effect#:~:text=T....

by yoz-y 6y ago

b0afc375b5 6y ago

For some reason I've had this long standing belief that love is just a function of proximity. I think I've subconsciously made it one of my goals in life to disprove this, by finding someone on the other side of the world. I'm not getting my hopes up though.

matwood 6y ago
> function of proximity. If you define proximity as spending time together IRL or virtually, then I agree.
Ayesh 6y ago
> finding someone on the other side of the world First hand experience is that it can be very rewarding if the wave lengths match. It opens a whole new world of experiences and thinking patterns. It takes a lot more commitment than, say, a relationship with someone from same college/town, so it takes more awareness about the fact.
indigochill 6y ago
I've heard a similar argument and I don't think it's entirely wrong, but I think the function is a little more complicated. Because when you spend enough time around anyone, you realize they suck (because everyone does). So some degree of grace is required as well to maintain love once the proximity factor has peaked.
- k__ 6y ago
  I think, it's about perceived proximity (car, train, and plane, help to lower that) and the kind of relationship you want. I have two girlfriends who live two train hours away from me. As the two implies, I'm not living a regular relationship, so I'm inclined to go to greater lengths when finding someone that fits.
  - sarakayakomzin 6y ago
    >I have two girlfriends who live two train hours away from me. As the two implies, I'm not living a regular relationship, so I'm inclined to go to greater lengths when finding someone that fits. I have to take a train to find someone who will fuck me is certainly a weird argument to make.
oflanac52 6y ago
Already disproved it (and many many many others), First 4 years of my relationship spent living in different countries. After college we moved in together. I think proximity is only a small part of it at least in a Facetime enabled world.
mettamage 6y ago
See also the mere exposure effect. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere-exposure_effect#:~:text=The%20mere%2Dexposure%20effect%20is,sometimes%20called%20the%20familiarity%20principle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere-exposure_effect#:~:text=T....