4 ms·
I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situati
by ilaksh 6y ago
I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific businesses you frequent.
Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours.
That's the experience that I've had living in a few different parts of the US and Mexico.
One thing that mitigates all of that a bit is the internet. Hacker News, for example, is the same place for everyone, in a way.
For me, I have always had poor social skills and little integration into communities, so it's not a big difference really. Other people who thrive on constant face-to-face social interaction may find things like language or cultural barriers to be more of an issue. But again, really depends who you are talking to. If the locals seem put off by your accent or something, the next bar over may be full of Americans if you are near a tourist area.
But on a deeper level, there certainly are real social consequences of being an outsider, as well as potentially a psychological disconnect if things always feel slightly off from the world that your brain grew up in.
- deepsun 6y ago> I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize ... I'd disagree. Sometimes it's about who you are, not about what you do. In some societies you can blend in easily (like San Francisco), in some -- there's no chance, no matter what you do.
- ilaksh 6y agoTrue that some societies are much more open or blending in is easier. Still think most of the other things I said apply if you include all of the context rather than just what you quoted.
- xwolfi 6y agoYou can change who you are. Really. In fact if you immigrate, I'd argue you must. You'll never change your physical appearance, but you can change everything else, your name, your language, your ideas. Don't immigrate if you don't love the local customs so much you're ready to die for them.
- em-bee 6y agoi found it helpful to join groups with activities of interest to me. for example in all the cities where i lived, i joined local linux user groups which always helped me to find friends. those people often see themselves as outsiders as well, so they share your feelings even if they are locals. welcome to the local outsiders club. hackerspaces work like that too. other not so popular activities work as well. if you play an instrument, irish folk sessions are easy to join. you don't even need to talk to anyone, just join in to play and you'll be welcome. if you have kids, boy/girl scouts can be good to. if your kids have trouble finding friends in school, then being part of such a group will help them find a few kids that they have a special interest in common with. martial arts i believe are also a good choice because they have a stronger focus on discipline and mutual respect than groups that just meet for fun. you can focus on your training while meeting people with the same interest.