4 ms·

Exactly the point I was going to make. Just because something is unpleasant doesn't make it destructive. Resisting junk food is unpleasant. Obeying the speed li

Exactly the point I was going to make. Just because something is unpleasant doesn't make it destructive. Resisting junk food is unpleasant. Obeying the speed limit is unpleasant.

haswell 6y ago
Taken to an extreme, feeling "behind" all the time can also lead to a different outcome: giving up, or choosing not to start something at all. As is so often true, the ideal state is likely somewhere in the middle. A healthy recognition of ones goals and progress against those goals...without self judgement. To your point, unpleasant does not automatically equal destructive. But unpleasant without perspective on why that unpleasant thing is also beneficial is going to lead to some negative outcomes. Generally, people understand why the speed limit exists, and there is enough info about healthy eating that most people get it. I'd argue that something like feeling behind in ones life is not so clear cut. That feeling can be beneficial in the long run, depending on where it comes from. It can also be destructive, if perspective is lacking.
- matwood 6y ago
  I think it's important to understand what someone is feeling behind to. Am I feeling behind to my neighbor? Who cares. Am I feeling behind in what I know I can do, now that's different. At the end of the day this is all rooted in our ego. We want enough ego that pushes us to get better, but at the same time be able to check that same ego when it gets in the way. I've related many HN items to Jiu-Jitsu and here is another. First, there is always someone better than you. And in some ways it's worse because the person who kicks your ass might be younger, smaller, older or a different gender. It takes an ego to step on to the mat and find out. Then after getting your ass gets kicked it takes checking your ego to learn what happened and go again. Like a lot of life, it's the personal journey that matters.
  - maroonblazer 6y ago
    Well put. My undergrad degree was in music. That career lasted 10 years and then I pivoted to marketing. With no relevant degree under my belt and no resources to go back to school, I felt perpetually behind. That feeling motivated me to read and self-study anything and everything I could get my hands on. I believe I'm a better professional because of it and, combined with some good luck, allowed me to capitalize on opportunities that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Exactly the point I was going to make. Just because something is unpleasant doesn't make it destructive. Resisting junk food is unpleasant. Obeying the speed limit is unpleasant.

haswell 6y ago

Taken to an extreme, feeling "behind" all the time can also lead to a different outcome: giving up, or choosing not to start something at all. As is so often true, the ideal state is likely somewhere in the middle. A healthy recognition of ones goals and progress against those goals...without self judgement. To your point, unpleasant does not automatically equal destructive. But unpleasant without perspective on why that unpleasant thing is also beneficial is going to lead to some negative outcomes. Generally, people understand why the speed limit exists, and there is enough info about healthy eating that most people get it. I'd argue that something like feeling behind in ones life is not so clear cut. That feeling can be beneficial in the long run, depending on where it comes from. It can also be destructive, if perspective is lacking.

matwood 6y ago
I think it's important to understand what someone is feeling behind to. Am I feeling behind to my neighbor? Who cares. Am I feeling behind in what I know I can do, now that's different. At the end of the day this is all rooted in our ego. We want enough ego that pushes us to get better, but at the same time be able to check that same ego when it gets in the way. I've related many HN items to Jiu-Jitsu and here is another. First, there is always someone better than you. And in some ways it's worse because the person who kicks your ass might be younger, smaller, older or a different gender. It takes an ego to step on to the mat and find out. Then after getting your ass gets kicked it takes checking your ego to learn what happened and go again. Like a lot of life, it's the personal journey that matters.
- maroonblazer 6y ago
  Well put. My undergrad degree was in music. That career lasted 10 years and then I pivoted to marketing. With no relevant degree under my belt and no resources to go back to school, I felt perpetually behind. That feeling motivated me to read and self-study anything and everything I could get my hands on. I believe I'm a better professional because of it and, combined with some good luck, allowed me to capitalize on opportunities that wouldn't have happened otherwise.