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All this stuff really ignores some real advice that really works. Anxiety comes from a lack of competence, confidence, or self-awareness. Lack any or all (and
by nwienert 6y ago
All this stuff really ignores some real advice that really works.
Anxiety comes from a lack of competence, confidence, or self-awareness. Lack any or all (and we all lack them to some extent) and you’re more nervous.
Get experience talking, presenting, comfort with how you look and sound, practice humor, gauge if you can maintain an audience. These are all practicable things. You can work on them.
I think meditation or mindfulness or any therapy tends to be good for realizing the importance of this, and perhaps some peripheral issues, but would never beat the cause of anxiety because the anxiety is rational. If someone asked me to fly a plane I’d be anxious - and that’s a good response, at a normal level, it means I’d have more cortisol and norepinephrine to react quicker and pay attention. But it’s not great for social things because it makes you shaky, so people see it as more of a fault than a good thing.
A lot of people today want to subscribe to “believe and you can” or “it’s all in your mind” type mantras but to me it’s really backwards to something like, “it’s ok that you can’t, accept it, and with hard work you can.”
- nradov 6y agoSome of the most accomplished stand-up comics still struggle with anxiety. So being comfortable with presenting, humor, and maintaining an audience isn't necessarily sufficient.
- bspammer 6y ago> Anxiety comes from a lack of competence, confidence, or self-awareness. This is oversimplified, anxiety isn’t just about social situations. My anxiety is none of these but comes from an overwhelming awareness of my own mortality. I don’t feel like I’m going to die today or tomorrow, but the knowledge that I will die one day and wipe out all memory of me as I am now is permanently terrifying to me. I really believe that almost everyone else has some part of their brain to suppress this fact, that I am missing.
- nunodonato 6y agofind out who the real "me" is, and that fear will no longer hold
- bspammer 6y agoIs your point that there is no such thing as "me"? Because I've tried meditating on that thought and it hasn't really helped. I think, therefore I am after all.
- nunodonato 6y agoYou can't meditate on that thought. Keep the search :)
- bspammer 6y agoI appreciate that you’re trying to help, but I’ve been searching for a long time and it only makes me feel worse.
- nunodonato 6y agoLook into Ramana Maharishi
- CannisterFlux 6y agoIt doesn't have to be rational. I get anxious doing the most trivial things that people do thousands of times every day: talking on the phone, going the supermarket, even sending emails. It is awful and seems to get worse (and less reasonable) the older I get.