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Partner choice and choice whether to have children are other critical considerations in cost control.
by elyobo 6y ago
Partner choice and choice whether to have children are other critical considerations in cost control.
- fsloth 6y ago"Family as the main instrument of cost control" - now that is bleak :D
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- Jedd 6y agoI think it's only genuinely bleak if your starting position is that family is assumed, rightful, and ineluctable - and electing to not head down that path is purely a fiscal decision.
- elyobo 6y agoAgreed, and I didn't meant to suggest that it's purely a fiscal decision, just that there _are_ fiscal elements that one should be aware of.
- irjustin 6y agoYou know what, if you don't want to have kids because they're too expensive - do not have kids! Too many parents don't want to be in the position they're in for whatever reason and didn't take the time to figure out whether they really want to have kids.
- tartoran 6y agoYeah, if one thinks that kids are expensive they're probably making the right decision of not having any. It is true having that children require changes in the parents lives, which are not only financial, a lot of time gets sunk into family and children. One must enjoy it. I personally do though I can't say I would've said the same thing before having my family, I did not know what it would be like. There is a great positive side and that is the great reward this brings. My life took a different turn for sure and it is for the better.
- medstrom 6y agoThere's a term for this (anyone know?) - when someone says life has improved and attributes it to specific events when really it would have improved on any number of other paths they could've taken too. The underlying factor is that "time passed and things happened". You imagine the alternative as staying in the spot you were in, but of course that's impossible. There are all kinds of random encounters and unknown unknowns that would have happened.
- tartoran 6y agoI was on a stagnant personal development trajectory for a while and having a family unleashed stored potential. It is impossible to know exactly how things would have turned out in an alternate reality but if I feel that things took a better turn and that is enough for me to feel satisfied.
- medstrom 6y agoThat's a good way to put it, and I don't doubt you. It's just that the childless are frequently spoken to as if getting a family is the only way to unleash this potential, and I want to provide a counter-view.
- tartoran 6y agoOh, I was responding from my personal experience. Some people have other priorities and are currently doing well the way they are and that is perfectly fine by me.
- elyobo 6y agoBeing aware that they're expensive (although my child is much less expensive than my spouse) doesn't necessarily mean not having them, it just means having them with your eyes open.
- tartoran 6y ago
- tonyedgecombe 6y agoPartner especially, you can always raise children on a budget.
- giantg2 6y agoGenerally true. It gets more complicated if they have medical issues or a disability.
- robin_reala 6y ago…in the US.
- abledon 6y agoisn't that why the US salaries are higher? move to US get paid fat stacks, then when health suffers you have some more $$$ to stay alive with
- ornornor 6y agoIn theory. In practice, some health issues costs hundreds of thousands or even millions (cancer, heart bypass...)
- nkingsy 6y agoNonono spend your fat stacks so you can qualify for Medicare and financial aid faster when the wolves come for everything
- ajmurmann 6y agoThe highs are higher and the lows are lower than in other developed countries
- DubiousPusher 6y agoMost serious medical costs will far outstrip the increased salary. Usually you use that increased salary to pay some crazy insurance premiums/deductibles.
- giantg2 6y agoThis can be the biggest factor. It can't be understated. For example, my wife won't let me consider relocating and spends basically all her money on hobbies. This limits my job options to locally available ones (not a great area) and that I can't get a less stressful job because it pays less and I need my current salary to pay all the bills.
- tartoran 6y agoAren't you and your wife sharing responsibility equally or proportionally at least? It is unfair for one partner to bear the brunt of stress and the other to thrive. Sounds like some compromises need to be made here.
- giantg2 6y agoShe feels she is.
- Minor49er 6y agoDo you let her know that you don't feel the same way?
- giantg2 6y agoYep. She doesn't really care. She says nonsense stuff. Like I should get a different job. But we can't move, so my options are limited. I pay all the bills and would need to take a pay cut if I switched jobs, so we would have to at least sell the current house and move to an much smaller one. Another good example is that she said I should keep my nice car and keep doing track days when she found out I was going to sell it. Well, were getting married and having a kid. With what money am I expected to do all this? It had to be sold for the budget to work.
- ody4242 6y agoYou don't have to be a victim. If you earn x, and she earns y, it's perfectly OK in a relationship to get a job that pays only y. I think your wife doesn't want you to be a victim either, maybe she is just not good with finance. You can be happy in a smaller house as well.
- foxhop 6y agoKids are not that expensive. You do not have to send them to college, you just have to love them, teach them, care for them. Sure you will have to buy more food, and you might need a bigger house/apartment.
- DubiousPusher 6y agoMore food+bigger house probably adds $400-$1000/month to your budget. Also, kids need doctors, interests (books or toys), durable goods (clothes and furniture) and more to thrive.
- totalminimalist 6y agoFunny you mention this. I live near Houston, Texas, soon to be, if not already, the 3rd largest city in America. What I'm seeing around me in north Houston burbs is somewhat disturbing, namely two things: 1. An outbreak of RV parks (6 near me in less than two years) 2. An outbreak of tiny home parks (Several in my area). What pains me is driving by the RV parks, where entire families are living in an RV not much larger than my kitchen and I see kids boarding the school bus. Some of you may disagree, but that is no way for a child to grow up. While I don't have anything against this per se, the stigma of that lifestyle can damage children. The rotten-ass kids at school make terrible fun of children who live in trailer parks, RV parks, tiny homes. Of course this is no fault of the children in those conditions, as they have no say in how they live, only in how they perform at school. This area lives and dies by oil and gas jobs. It's likely no accident that in the last couple of years, those jobs have bottomed out and many people have lost their jobs. I don't know if there is a correlation between the job losses (tens of thousands) and the number of cheaper housing accommodations springing up, but it's real and it's somewhat disturbing to see so many people in a down-and-out state. Editing to say that these are not the $500,000 RVs that retired people holiday in. They are kitchen-sized campers (for lack of a better term) that may be the size of 6-8 cubicles. They need outside water connections which many don't have, and they almost always need propane attachments. Many have composting toilets which the owner needs to clean out, as they cannot connect to the sewer lines.
- 6y ago