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> “We tried explaining to our 75 cows that they needed to produce less milk but they don’t seem to have understood,” I don't know why, but this is the funniest

> “We tried explaining to our 75 cows that they needed to produce less milk but they don’t seem to have understood,” I don't know why, but this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. I can just imagine the monk explaining COVID to these cows, and just getting a "Moo" in return.

WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
I was gonna put in an order just for having a sense of humor about the whole thing but they are sold out...
l33tman 6y ago
Shut up and take my moo-ney!
JNRowe 6y ago
In France, so "meuh" ;) I think a few of the French animal onomatopoeia feel more correct to me than their English counterparts. For example, I can't unhear coin-coin with ducks any more than I can unsee The Moon Rabbit¹. ¹ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rabbit https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rabbit
DC-3 6y ago
Time to take up GOMAD :-)
roshanjrajan 6y ago
I'm not going to lie but I imagined the same thing and couldn't stop laughing
ahelwer 6y ago
Kind of strange, because cows don't just produce milk by nature. Much like humans they have to be impregnated & give birth, after which they produce milk for about ten months. Inquisitive people might wonder how the cow is impregnated in the first place and what happens to the calf.
- WJW 6y ago
  I assume they either use a bull or use artificial insemination and the calf gets taken away to be slaughtered and eaten. Do they do it differently in France?
  - nickkell 6y ago
    As it's a monastery we must leave open the possibility of immaculate conception
    - throwaway744678 6y ago
      Immaculate conception refers to the fact that Mary was born free from original sin, not that Jesus was conceived with a sexual intercourse.
      - nickkell 6y ago
        Thanks for the correction! All this time I've conflated it with the "virgin birth"
- ekianjo 6y ago
  Not sure if this explains everything but we have been selecting species for favorable traits for hundreds of years. That's why you end up with hens laying eggs several times per week too.
- Swizec 6y ago
  > after which they produce milk for about ten months Which just about brings us from spring 2020 to now. According to a quick google search, cows gestate for 9.5 months. > then the “ideal” breeding season for spring-born calves is 9 1/2 months prior to that or beginning in April but for sure by May. [^1] If you're planning to have baby cows in April 2020, you breed them in August 2019. By the time you find out about COVID it is already too late and you're gonna have a bunch of milk whether you want to or not. As for what happens to the calves: they can't drink all the milk modern cows produce. Also they become big cows. Afaik we don't usually eat dairy cows because they have been selectively bred to produce ridiculous amounts of milk, but not to be tasty. [1] https://beef-cattle.extension.org/when-exactly-is-the-beginning-of-cattle-breeding-season-whats-the-significance-of-having-it-during-a-particular-time/ https://beef-cattle.extension.org/when-exactly-is-the-beginn...
uppe 6y ago
Maybe don't impregnate them then. Cows don't magically produce milk, they are mammals and lactate because they had babies. They actually forcibly impregnate them and kill their babies if it's a male (veal) and keeps the loop going until the mother can't produce more babies and thus becomes unprofitable. That's funny to you? Sounds like torture and slavery to me. edit: wow, what a surprise, downvoted to the bottom. I know it's deeply ingrained in our culture to participate in this and that makes it feel safe and normal. Scoffers and deniers, I dare you to go watch Cowspiracy or Dominion and then still stand by this practice.
- COGlory 6y ago
  Do you have any personal experience working with dairy cows?
  - TimTheTinker 6y ago
    My father worked with dairy cows as a side job during college. He said they were often very friendly (except for Holsteins, they can be mean). They get used to and expect the daily routine - milking in the morning, pasture for the day, milking in the evening, pasture for the night. When milking time came, they'd all be crowded up near the gate waiting for him to open it so they could walk to the milking building. They didn't need to be coaxed. He said the saddest thing was the practice of de-horning calves at a certain age. Prior to that, a group of calves would be friendly, unafraid, almost like pets. But afterwards (my dad wasn't personally there for the actual de-horning) they would all crowd together at the opposite end of the yard in fear when he approached. He said it was heartbreaking... As far as I know, not all farmers practice de-horning. Edit: I have no idea whether they used pain killers, but given the calves' response my guess is no.
    - frob 6y ago
      I raise goats and I get my kids disbudded every year when they're under a week old. They scream for about 5 seconds, and it breaks my heart, but then they almost immediately go back to their old selves like nothing happened and are back playing with us. In my case, I choose to do it to prevent the chance of future injuries for the goat, other goats, and humans.
1MachineElf 6y ago
Slightly related to the original post here, if you ever wondered how monks ended up in posession of 75 cows and farming land, Max Miller did an interesting and funny explanation of it on his Tasting History YT channel: https://youtu.be/zz0y1d6IIpY https://youtu.be/zz0y1d6IIpY
- chrisseaton 6y ago
  > if you ever wondered how monks ended up in posession of 75 cows and farming land Did it sound strange to you? Farming and crafts are a core part of many monasteries, and many famous foods and drinks have been invented or refined by monks. Everything from Champagne and Buckfast. They have to do something simple to earn money and keep busy. And they’re usually in the countryside so have farm land by default. What do the monasteries near you do to trade for income?
  - 1MachineElf 6y ago
    Indeed, and it wasn't always so. The video discusses the two skinny/pious/austere monk vs. the fat/drunken/jolly monk stereotypes, and the history of how the transition between the two came to be.
  - kgwgk 6y ago
    Ora et labora.
throw0101a 6y ago
> I can just imagine the monk explaining COVID to these cows, and just getting a "Moo" in return. They need Ein from Cowboy Bebop. See specifically episode/session seventeen, "Mushroom Samba".
usrusr 6y ago
> I don't know why, but this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. I can just imagine the monk explaining COVID to these cows, and just getting a "Moo" in return. Funny because it's impossible to imagine that situation without the monk looking like Anthony Fauci in a robe? That exact same situation must have happened just about everywhere...

WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago

I was gonna put in an order just for having a sense of humor about the whole thing but they are sold out...

l33tman 6y ago

Shut up and take my moo-ney!

JNRowe 6y ago

In France, so "meuh" ;) I think a few of the French animal onomatopoeia feel more correct to me than their English counterparts. For example, I can't unhear coin-coin with ducks any more than I can unsee The Moon Rabbit¹. ¹ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rabbit https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rabbit

DC-3 6y ago

Time to take up GOMAD :-)

roshanjrajan 6y ago

I'm not going to lie but I imagined the same thing and couldn't stop laughing

ahelwer 6y ago

Kind of strange, because cows don't just produce milk by nature. Much like humans they have to be impregnated & give birth, after which they produce milk for about ten months. Inquisitive people might wonder how the cow is impregnated in the first place and what happens to the calf.

WJW 6y ago
I assume they either use a bull or use artificial insemination and the calf gets taken away to be slaughtered and eaten. Do they do it differently in France?
- nickkell 6y ago
  As it's a monastery we must leave open the possibility of immaculate conception
  - throwaway744678 6y ago
    Immaculate conception refers to the fact that Mary was born free from original sin, not that Jesus was conceived with a sexual intercourse.
    - nickkell 6y ago
      Thanks for the correction! All this time I've conflated it with the "virgin birth"
ekianjo 6y ago
Not sure if this explains everything but we have been selecting species for favorable traits for hundreds of years. That's why you end up with hens laying eggs several times per week too.
Swizec 6y ago
> after which they produce milk for about ten months Which just about brings us from spring 2020 to now. According to a quick google search, cows gestate for 9.5 months. > then the “ideal” breeding season for spring-born calves is 9 1/2 months prior to that or beginning in April but for sure by May. [^1] If you're planning to have baby cows in April 2020, you breed them in August 2019. By the time you find out about COVID it is already too late and you're gonna have a bunch of milk whether you want to or not. As for what happens to the calves: they can't drink all the milk modern cows produce. Also they become big cows. Afaik we don't usually eat dairy cows because they have been selectively bred to produce ridiculous amounts of milk, but not to be tasty. [1] https://beef-cattle.extension.org/when-exactly-is-the-beginning-of-cattle-breeding-season-whats-the-significance-of-having-it-during-a-particular-time/ https://beef-cattle.extension.org/when-exactly-is-the-beginn...

uppe 6y ago

Maybe don't impregnate them then. Cows don't magically produce milk, they are mammals and lactate because they had babies. They actually forcibly impregnate them and kill their babies if it's a male (veal) and keeps the loop going until the mother can't produce more babies and thus becomes unprofitable. That's funny to you? Sounds like torture and slavery to me. edit: wow, what a surprise, downvoted to the bottom. I know it's deeply ingrained in our culture to participate in this and that makes it feel safe and normal. Scoffers and deniers, I dare you to go watch Cowspiracy or Dominion and then still stand by this practice.

COGlory 6y ago
Do you have any personal experience working with dairy cows?
- TimTheTinker 6y ago
  My father worked with dairy cows as a side job during college. He said they were often very friendly (except for Holsteins, they can be mean). They get used to and expect the daily routine - milking in the morning, pasture for the day, milking in the evening, pasture for the night. When milking time came, they'd all be crowded up near the gate waiting for him to open it so they could walk to the milking building. They didn't need to be coaxed. He said the saddest thing was the practice of de-horning calves at a certain age. Prior to that, a group of calves would be friendly, unafraid, almost like pets. But afterwards (my dad wasn't personally there for the actual de-horning) they would all crowd together at the opposite end of the yard in fear when he approached. He said it was heartbreaking... As far as I know, not all farmers practice de-horning. Edit: I have no idea whether they used pain killers, but given the calves' response my guess is no.
  - frob 6y ago
    I raise goats and I get my kids disbudded every year when they're under a week old. They scream for about 5 seconds, and it breaks my heart, but then they almost immediately go back to their old selves like nothing happened and are back playing with us. In my case, I choose to do it to prevent the chance of future injuries for the goat, other goats, and humans.

1MachineElf 6y ago

Slightly related to the original post here, if you ever wondered how monks ended up in posession of 75 cows and farming land, Max Miller did an interesting and funny explanation of it on his Tasting History YT channel: https://youtu.be/zz0y1d6IIpY https://youtu.be/zz0y1d6IIpY

chrisseaton 6y ago
> if you ever wondered how monks ended up in posession of 75 cows and farming land Did it sound strange to you? Farming and crafts are a core part of many monasteries, and many famous foods and drinks have been invented or refined by monks. Everything from Champagne and Buckfast. They have to do something simple to earn money and keep busy. And they’re usually in the countryside so have farm land by default. What do the monasteries near you do to trade for income?
- 1MachineElf 6y ago
  Indeed, and it wasn't always so. The video discusses the two skinny/pious/austere monk vs. the fat/drunken/jolly monk stereotypes, and the history of how the transition between the two came to be.
- kgwgk 6y ago
  Ora et labora.

throw0101a 6y ago

> I can just imagine the monk explaining COVID to these cows, and just getting a "Moo" in return. They need Ein from Cowboy Bebop. See specifically episode/session seventeen, "Mushroom Samba".

usrusr 6y ago

> I don't know why, but this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. I can just imagine the monk explaining COVID to these cows, and just getting a "Moo" in return. Funny because it's impossible to imagine that situation without the monk looking like Anthony Fauci in a robe? That exact same situation must have happened just about everywhere...