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I agree. I think it's good to ask a neighbor if they seem the type to be amenable to it, otherwise better ask them if they've seen a cat wandering around. I ha

I agree. I think it's good to ask a neighbor if they seem the type to be amenable to it, otherwise better ask them if they've seen a cat wandering around. I had a neighbor who was an out-of-work hot-head who shouted at everyone and had his own posse of low-lifes. The guy BBQed right next to the wooden fence (in violation of fire codes) using absurd amounts of lighter fluid and charcoal that seeped into my unit directly above. I tried asking them to move it but they just ignored me. I tried a second time and then him and his posse surrounded me, mean mugged me, and tried to start a fight. I asked the property management to do something, they tried, and they took out their bad experiences on me passive-aggressively. I finally got out of there because it was a horrible situation.

patcon 6y ago
Ah shit, that sounds like a fuckin rotten experience. Sorry you had to go through it. i always wonder, when I have fantastically social failures like that: how could i tune the knobs to make this go better with this specific type of person, who sees me in this way... like if I did this 10 more times with 10 more hot-heads, I wonder what I'd learn about what he responds better to. I'm sure there are parts of who I am that I can't talk around, but still. And not that I have the nerve to keep putting myself in that situation...! Anyhow, makes me curious from a distance, but to be clear, I'm not judging that there's anything else you could've done :)
- failwhaleshark 6y ago
  The only way I think would've been to be another village tough or a low-life posse supplicant. The dude was out-of-work, drinking, smoking, and not doing anything and taking out his angsty frustrations in life on everyone else, including his kid, his wife, the mailman, the apt manager, and anyone else that walked by who wasn't a part of their gang.

patcon 6y ago

Ah shit, that sounds like a fuckin rotten experience. Sorry you had to go through it. i always wonder, when I have fantastically social failures like that: how could i tune the knobs to make this go better with this specific type of person, who sees me in this way... like if I did this 10 more times with 10 more hot-heads, I wonder what I'd learn about what he responds better to. I'm sure there are parts of who I am that I can't talk around, but still. And not that I have the nerve to keep putting myself in that situation...! Anyhow, makes me curious from a distance, but to be clear, I'm not judging that there's anything else you could've done :)

failwhaleshark 6y ago
The only way I think would've been to be another village tough or a low-life posse supplicant. The dude was out-of-work, drinking, smoking, and not doing anything and taking out his angsty frustrations in life on everyone else, including his kid, his wife, the mailman, the apt manager, and anyone else that walked by who wasn't a part of their gang.