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I'm curious why a relationship with another person isn't something you'd want to prioritize. What fills your hours, and moreover, what fills your mental needs t

I'm curious why a relationship with another person isn't something you'd want to prioritize. What fills your hours, and moreover, what fills your mental needs to such an extent that it can override biological imperatives?

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
supercanuck 6y ago
Probably because it’s a lot of work.
lotsofpulp 6y ago
Is there a biological imperative for a male other than orgasming, which ostensibly, content from a website can accomplish?
- staticman2 6y ago
  My understanding is some asexual people can experience romance but not obtain any pleasure from sex. This suggests there are parts of the brains of (some, perhaps most men) looking for something which you can't get from orgasming.
phobosanomaly 6y ago
I mostly just fill my time with work and hobbies. The rest of the time I spend alone with myself. Doesn't fill the mental needs, but you just get better at suppressing them over the years. Would be nice to meet someone who shared my interests and take on life, but the only ones I've found don't find me particularly attractive or already got snatched up. And what's the point of starting a relationship with someone who doesn't share your interests and take on life? Fear of dying alone? That doesn't seem to me to be a good enough reason. Eh, well, dying alone doesn't seem too bad in an era where you can literally pursue any fascinating hobby you want with relatively low startup costs (FPV drones, dirt bikes, rock climbing, backpacking around the world, you name it).
- jimmygrapes 6y ago
  I feel you. Something to consider though, regarding shared interests: I have found it more pleasing to learn about somebody else's interests rather than simply affirming my own. Eventually it tends towards each side learning to like the others interests, or at least be familiar with them. The problem I see is the lack of genuine interest in many. I don't really think that (in general) "video games" or "the office" or "anime" are interests, unless it becomes either uncomfortably obsessive (negative) or creation (positive). Same can go for things like hiking, board games, partying... these are activities, not really interests. People seem afraid to expose what truly interests them even long into a relationship.
  - phobosanomaly 6y ago
    Your point about interests is interesting. What would you consider an interest that would catch your attention? If hiking is an activity, then would the interest be 'getting outdoors.'

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

supercanuck 6y ago

Probably because it’s a lot of work.

lotsofpulp 6y ago

Is there a biological imperative for a male other than orgasming, which ostensibly, content from a website can accomplish?

staticman2 6y ago
My understanding is some asexual people can experience romance but not obtain any pleasure from sex. This suggests there are parts of the brains of (some, perhaps most men) looking for something which you can't get from orgasming.

phobosanomaly 6y ago

I mostly just fill my time with work and hobbies. The rest of the time I spend alone with myself. Doesn't fill the mental needs, but you just get better at suppressing them over the years. Would be nice to meet someone who shared my interests and take on life, but the only ones I've found don't find me particularly attractive or already got snatched up. And what's the point of starting a relationship with someone who doesn't share your interests and take on life? Fear of dying alone? That doesn't seem to me to be a good enough reason. Eh, well, dying alone doesn't seem too bad in an era where you can literally pursue any fascinating hobby you want with relatively low startup costs (FPV drones, dirt bikes, rock climbing, backpacking around the world, you name it).

jimmygrapes 6y ago
I feel you. Something to consider though, regarding shared interests: I have found it more pleasing to learn about somebody else's interests rather than simply affirming my own. Eventually it tends towards each side learning to like the others interests, or at least be familiar with them. The problem I see is the lack of genuine interest in many. I don't really think that (in general) "video games" or "the office" or "anime" are interests, unless it becomes either uncomfortably obsessive (negative) or creation (positive). Same can go for things like hiking, board games, partying... these are activities, not really interests. People seem afraid to expose what truly interests them even long into a relationship.
- phobosanomaly 6y ago
  Your point about interests is interesting. What would you consider an interest that would catch your attention? If hiking is an activity, then would the interest be 'getting outdoors.'