3 ms·

In my mostly 99% Asian circle of friends, we have a few white people, and I can't help but be super uncomfortable every time the topic of racism being brought u

In my mostly 99% Asian circle of friends, we have a few white people, and I can't help but be super uncomfortable every time the topic of racism being brought up, because I was thinking "dang, how would these white friends in our circle feel, they must've felt uncomfortable in these kinds of conversations". Yeah, heads you lose tails I win kinda situation. In my circle of Asians, we have our own trouble as well. My wife is Japanese, and I grew up influenced heavily by Japanese culture (I'm Indonesian Chinese), but majority of my circle is 99% Koreans and Chinese. So yeah every time WWII or Japan/Korea/China thing gets brought up I also just stay silent and will just ask my wife to go home early or pretend we have some business to do. Definitely something will go wrong. We are in our 20s - 30s, and WWII are our grandparents generations battle. We are aware of Japan's WWII problem, but we aren't gonna pretend we know what to do.

pnutjam 6y ago
Now imagine how uncomfortable the non-whites are in almost any other conversation or setting.
- wcarron 6y ago
  > I'm Asian The person you are replying to
  - ngokevin 6y ago
    It fits the bill. Asians are treated as white in tech. There's never any conversation around Asian-Americans. It's awkward because we're not quite Asian, but not quite treated as fully American either. Many programs have checkboxes to identify as minority groups (black, LBGTQ+, women, LatinX, which is great), but not Asians, who are statistically one of the biggest minorities at ~5%. Despite my family being refugees, much of which died getting here. Despite eastern culture being almost the polar opposite of western culture. I wish that counted for something more. Not asking for any special treatment because I feel Asian-Americans just put their head down and do the work. But it's stark how silent the conversation around Asian-Americans is, except for when we talk about Crazy Rich Asians.
    - wcarron 6y ago
      > It fits the bill. Asians are treated as white in tech. Or are they treated as asians? This whole thing is complicated, but including asian people as 'white' when it is colloqially used to mean 'caucasian european' for the most part, is just disigenuous and moving the goalposts.
      - ngokevin 6y ago
        Never in tech have I seen conversation about Asian Americans been brought up. When I say, they're treated as white, it's more like they're treated "not a POC", which only leaves a designation of white. Except Asians don't get put in leadership positions as easily as white counterparts (bamboo ceiling). I've seen many times (online at least) where people have explicitly said Asians don't count as POC, despite facing a large brunt of racism.
        recursive 6y ago
        > Never in tech have I seen conversation about Asian Americans been brought up. But also > Except Asians don't get put in leadership positions as easily as white counterparts I guess it's now been brought up, so that's a milestone.
        ngokevin 6y ago
        We ain’t known for speaking up :) It is a time where we are getting violently targeted. And while people are jumping at the bit to speak up for every other group, we’re forced to uncharacteristically muster it up ourselves. I imagine if I was any other minority group talking about my experiences, it'd be taken more seriously.
        wcarron 6y ago
        > When I say, they're treated as white, it's more like they're treated "not a POC" You have missed the point. However they are being treated, by definition, is how asian-americans in tech are treated. They aren't being treated as "not POC", that is how asian poc are treated.
  - throwaways885 6y ago
    Doesn't matter. If you take a particular viewpoint, there's a whole strata of American society that will call you white/black based on politics alone. Or you'll be called a race traitor, etc... e.g. "Asians are considered white because they have privilege."
  - pnutjam 6y ago
    You never feel uncomfortable when you are the only non-white? I too am non-white and see myself as white, due largely to the way my mother raised us. My Father is white and my mother is hispanic, but I've been asked if I am Asian or Pacific Islander many times. I've also noticed a distinct difference in how people treat me when they see me, vs virtual or phone. I meant to draw attention to how many non-whites are forced to immerse themselves in mostly white groups and can feel ostracized in the US.
    - wcarron 6y ago
      > You never feel uncomfortable when you are the only non-white? Well I am white, so no. > I meant to draw attention to how many non-whites are forced to immerse themselves in mostly white groups and can feel ostracized in the US Well the majority of the population in the USA is white. No getting around that, even if a theoretical perfect distribution of diversity is achieved.
      - pnutjam 6y ago
        I'm addressing lack of empathy. Not population distribution. Racism takes many forms.
- junon 6y ago
  Define "non-white", because two messages above were written by someone categorically "non-white".
- recursive 6y ago
  I'm pretty sure this is exactly the type of comment being talked about here.
rolph 6y ago
>>...thing gets brought up I also just stay silent...<< when you are not blinded by the sound of your own voice you can see beyond your eyes

pnutjam 6y ago

Now imagine how uncomfortable the non-whites are in almost any other conversation or setting.

wcarron 6y ago
> I'm Asian The person you are replying to
- ngokevin 6y ago
  It fits the bill. Asians are treated as white in tech. There's never any conversation around Asian-Americans. It's awkward because we're not quite Asian, but not quite treated as fully American either. Many programs have checkboxes to identify as minority groups (black, LBGTQ+, women, LatinX, which is great), but not Asians, who are statistically one of the biggest minorities at ~5%. Despite my family being refugees, much of which died getting here. Despite eastern culture being almost the polar opposite of western culture. I wish that counted for something more. Not asking for any special treatment because I feel Asian-Americans just put their head down and do the work. But it's stark how silent the conversation around Asian-Americans is, except for when we talk about Crazy Rich Asians.
  - wcarron 6y ago
    > It fits the bill. Asians are treated as white in tech. Or are they treated as asians? This whole thing is complicated, but including asian people as 'white' when it is colloqially used to mean 'caucasian european' for the most part, is just disigenuous and moving the goalposts.
    - ngokevin 6y ago
      Never in tech have I seen conversation about Asian Americans been brought up. When I say, they're treated as white, it's more like they're treated "not a POC", which only leaves a designation of white. Except Asians don't get put in leadership positions as easily as white counterparts (bamboo ceiling). I've seen many times (online at least) where people have explicitly said Asians don't count as POC, despite facing a large brunt of racism.
      - recursive 6y ago
        > Never in tech have I seen conversation about Asian Americans been brought up. But also > Except Asians don't get put in leadership positions as easily as white counterparts I guess it's now been brought up, so that's a milestone.
        ngokevin 6y ago
        We ain’t known for speaking up :) It is a time where we are getting violently targeted. And while people are jumping at the bit to speak up for every other group, we’re forced to uncharacteristically muster it up ourselves. I imagine if I was any other minority group talking about my experiences, it'd be taken more seriously.
      - wcarron 6y ago
        > When I say, they're treated as white, it's more like they're treated "not a POC" You have missed the point. However they are being treated, by definition, is how asian-americans in tech are treated. They aren't being treated as "not POC", that is how asian poc are treated.
- throwaways885 6y ago
  Doesn't matter. If you take a particular viewpoint, there's a whole strata of American society that will call you white/black based on politics alone. Or you'll be called a race traitor, etc... e.g. "Asians are considered white because they have privilege."
- pnutjam 6y ago
  You never feel uncomfortable when you are the only non-white? I too am non-white and see myself as white, due largely to the way my mother raised us. My Father is white and my mother is hispanic, but I've been asked if I am Asian or Pacific Islander many times. I've also noticed a distinct difference in how people treat me when they see me, vs virtual or phone. I meant to draw attention to how many non-whites are forced to immerse themselves in mostly white groups and can feel ostracized in the US.
  - wcarron 6y ago
    > You never feel uncomfortable when you are the only non-white? Well I am white, so no. > I meant to draw attention to how many non-whites are forced to immerse themselves in mostly white groups and can feel ostracized in the US Well the majority of the population in the USA is white. No getting around that, even if a theoretical perfect distribution of diversity is achieved.
    - pnutjam 6y ago
      I'm addressing lack of empathy. Not population distribution. Racism takes many forms.
junon 6y ago
Define "non-white", because two messages above were written by someone categorically "non-white".
recursive 6y ago
I'm pretty sure this is exactly the type of comment being talked about here.

rolph 6y ago

>>...thing gets brought up I also just stay silent...<< when you are not blinded by the sound of your own voice you can see beyond your eyes