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I'm overlooking the "teeth" part of this story to share a bit of an anecdote here. I'm a guy, and I lost my hair when I was about 21. I spent a while trying eve
by bichiliad 6y ago
I'm overlooking the "teeth" part of this story to share a bit of an anecdote here. I'm a guy, and I lost my hair when I was about 21. I spent a while trying every medication (many of which have sexual health side effects), but I don't think I was ever actually happy until I just accepted that I was bald and that was just part of how I looked. Don't get me wrong — I would love having hair again, but it doesn't bother me that I don't.
If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you. Getting rid of my anxiety around how my hair looked (checking it in the mirror all the time, using products to make it look less thin, etc) was absolutely worth giving up any illusion that my hair was going to stick around. Plus, it has made putting on sweaters so much easier, and I never have to worry about helmet hair.
If you're reading this post with a touch of anxiety about your hair, just know that it's gonna be fine and you probably look cool as hell (albeit a bit different) with a buzz cut.
- airhead969 6y agoOne of my female roommates had a thing for chrome. I don't think she's the only female to have that interest. Shave it all off and rock it. :)
- Waterluvian 6y agoThere are so many good bald looks these days. Even just shaving your entire dome looks pretty awesome. I’ve never had a “hah that guy’s bald” moment. But I’ve had many, “damn, kinda jealous of that style...” moments.
- 0xffff2 6y agoAs a guy who's been shaving my head since I realized my hair wasn't getting any thicker when I was ~20 (13 years ago), I'm curious what other "bald looks" there are besides shaving the whole thing?
- Waterluvian 6y agoThere's the Jason Statham look where he doesn't shave it all and blends it into his beard and it looks great. But, yeah, I didn't word that well. Most good bald looks involve what you do with your facial hair.
- moosebear847 6y agoMuscles underneath. Lots, of muscles.
- jjoonathan 6y agoThe correct haircut for a bald man is muscles.
- voisin 6y agoThe correct haircut for any man is muscles.
- CodeGlitch 6y agoThis. Muscle plus personality is 100x more attractive than hair. 2 things you can control (generally)
- medium_burrito 6y agoYeah, that's pretty much it. Tattoos also, as that complements the look.
- Koshkin 6y agoNah, it's 1) age and 2) height - none of which you can control.
- jobigoud 6y ago> Even just shaving your entire dome looks pretty awesome. It's the one and only look. That's what I miss the most about no longer having hairs, options.
- rootusrootus 6y ago> no one else thinks about your hair besides you To expand on that, my favorite quote (from Eleanor Roosevelt, who seems to have been quite quotable...): "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." I totally agree. People are almost 100% caught up in themselves, and barely have time to think about their own family, much less friends, acquaintances, and last of all strangers.
- CalChris 6y agoThis reminds me of Casablanca: Ugarte: You despise me, don't you? Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.
- Eric_WVGG 6y agoMad Men Ginsberg: I feel bad for you. Draper: I don’t think about you at all.
- azinman2 6y agoWell of course they don’t actively worry about your hair, but most certainly it’s one of the factors on whether people find you attractive or not. And that can still have real consequences even if people aren’t “worried about you.”
- smeeth 6y ago+1, it can’t be said enough. Worrying about losing your hair is a significantly worse condition than actually losing your hair. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
- hn_throwaway_99 6y ago> If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you. I mean, kinda. Sure, nobody is probably stressing about how many centimeters your scalp is receding, but you can bet lots of people will be more attracted to someone who looks young with a full head of hair compared to someone who has typical male pattern baldness. Just google "male hair restoration before and after" for some examples, and tell me you don't think there's a stark difference to most examples. I do agree, though, fortunately it's become socially acceptable to shave your head and that can be seen as a sign of attractiveness (though I still think this cartoon is pretty accurate: https://i.imgur.com/IMmmP8A.gif https://i.imgur.com/IMmmP8A.gif)
- Cthulhu_ 6y agoI dunno man, Patrick Stewart has always been mostly bald and is he any less attractive for it? It has the extra added benefit that you can't tell someone's age, so in his case he's been in his 40's throughout his career.
- mmcgaha 6y agoIf I could look like Patrick Stewart or Sean Connery going bald would be great. Of course those guys look better than me even with hair so what can I expect.
- saiya-jin 6y agonot everybody looks as him (or few other known bald celebrities), and not everybody has shape of the head or skin to look as good. But I agree once baldness progresses to be plain visible, the best course is to either trim to very short or shave it all. Can look cool with good beard, but again not everybody has the genes for that.
- f6v 6y agoYou have to be attractive in the first place to be attractive when bald.
- matwood 6y ago
- dominotw 6y agoyes same. I accepted it and moved on in my 30s. Now i like my buzzed look, i think i look better than ever. I think bladness needs an equivalent of 'fat acceptance'. When somone is in their 20's. Its hard to accept your lower value as a potential mate for something that's totally out of their control.
- DanBC 6y agoThere's a Youtube Channel called Bald Cafe where men are interviewed about their hair loss, and they shave their heads. https://www.youtube.com/c/Baldcafe/videos https://www.youtube.com/c/Baldcafe/videos It's easy to see that for some people it's a big deal, and it's a bit tricky for them to come to terms with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfxZvMydPYQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfxZvMydPYQ
- dominotw 6y ago> and they shave their heads. I think this a harmful trend too. Ironically, Pepetuates the same concept that something natural like balding is something to hide. Being bald without completely shaven look is a ok, normal and attractive too.
- hombre_fatal 6y agoNot shaving your head unfortunately puts you in the familiar camp of men who basically deny their balding and can't roll with the punch. Just get rid of it.
- dominotw 6y agoHow? I don't want to shave my head every weekend. I shave every 1 month or so. Towards the end i have the classic bald man look. How is that 'denying my balding' ? bald look doesnt bother me. So why the perception that i have some physiological issues re my balding if i don't shave on a regular basis.
- 6y ago
- decafninja 6y agoI think there are cultural (racial?) aspects too. I'm East Asian. Hair loss at a young age and shaving your head is still not considered very acceptable or attractive in any way in East Asian cultures, short of being a monk. There are a tiny handful of exceptions - but that's just that - exceptions. If you're pushing 50? 60? etc. sure it happens to many so not a big deal - but even then I think more East Asian men choose wigs, hair transplants, or even au natural horseshoe rather than shave. If you're 20? 30? Or even 40? It's terrible - dare I say more so than men of other races/cultures. As someone in his thirties that is starting to lose hair, I envy men of other races/cultures where shaving your head is considered an acceptable option.
- x86_64Ubuntu 6y agoI never thought of this till you mentioned it, like, never. But you are right, I can't think of any high-visibility East Asian person with a bald head that isn't a monk. Xi Jianping, Mao, Psy, Jack Ma and pretty much every prominent East-Asian has hair. I guess with me coming from the black community, we've always had Michael Jordan, Isaac Hayes and Samuel L. Jackson as the standard-bearers of baldness.
- slim 6y agoMao?
- x86_64Ubuntu 6y agoWhoops. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mao_Zedong#/media/File:Mao_Zedong_in_1959_(cropped).jpg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mao_Zedong#/media/File:Mao_Zed...
- SenHeng 6y agoWatanabe Ken, while not fully bald, has shaved a few times before for some of his roles. He also tends to sport really short hair. https://www.google.com/search?q=watanabe+ken&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjm2emv5IPvAhUB62EKHe5YCQYQ_AUoAXoECCMQAw&biw=2162&bih=2023 https://www.google.com/search?q=watanabe+ken&client=safari&r...
- fossuser 6y ago> “If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you.” I had a girl cancel a date when she learned I was balding (she explicitly told a friend this) so there’s a reason men feel bad about it. That said, shaving your head and getting on with your life is the right approach and has a lot of other benefits anyway. Elon did something different, but for most people going bald, shaving your head is the right move. It can just be hard to know when and most people wait too long (plus it’s hard to deal with the social stuff around a dramatic change like that).
- kareemm 6y ago> I had a girl cancel a date when she learned I was balding (she explicitly told a friend this) so there’s a reason men feel bad about it. Dodged a bullet there!
- snshn 6y agoWell done, 47.
- fossuser 6y agoSure, in that specific case I’d agree it’s a flag. But there’s a general truth to sexual attractiveness in there, and it’s better to accept the reality as it is and adapt. Sometimes it's better to just learn the dance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX40mBb8bkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX40mBb8bkU Remember what the dormouse said: Shave your head (or something like that)
- ben509 6y agoYup. There are no bad reasons to not pursue a relationship, because anything that avoids heartache and misery is implicitly a good reason.
- voisin 6y ago> there’s a general truth to sexual attractiveness in there Even a cursory consideration of the numerous bald celebrities should be sufficient to disabuse yourself of this notion. There is no general truth to sexual attractiveness as related to hair, or height, or skin colour, or weight, or…
- powvans 6y agoMy dad went bald very early and I was always afraid of it. I've had the typical progression of male pattern baldness going for the last 20 years. I'd look really weird in my 40's if I had the same hairline as my 20 year old self. Over the years I've gotten used to it and consider it not a big deal. On the other hand, now that my dad is in his late 70's he has melanoma all over his chrome dome. He has to get things burned, frozen, and lasered off every couple of months. It's ironic that after accepting the vanity aspects of baldness and no longer caring, I see that there are much worse things. If you're bald or balding, wear a hat! Wear sunscreen! The spray on stuff is sort of gross but it can get to your scalp where the hair is thin and skin is exposed. If a stem cell treatment for baldness were affordable, I would consider it. 80% for the UV protection and 20% for the vanity.
- ido 6y agoGoing off topic, but that's one of the reasons I really appreciate moving to Berlin (UV index from 2 to 5) from Tel Aviv (UV index 3 to 11). I haven't burned even once since leaving Israel in 2005.
- powvans 6y agoLatitude matters! I grew up outside of Atlanta, which is 33N and similar to Tel Aviv at 32N. My dad's Irish skin probably faired much worse here than it would have at 53N (Ireland, Berlin). I don't burn too easily in the sun here and it's easy to avoid in prolonged exposure with a little sunscreen. I was shocked the first time I ventured close to the equator. In southern Mexico (15N) and Costa Rica (10N) my skin burns in about 10 minutes without sunscreen.
- abraxas 6y agoLots of people have anxiety about their head shape. I know I do. I'm not looking forward to the time when I have to buzz cut my hair. There is definitely a lot of flatness on the back of my head.
- mc32 6y agoIf it comforts anyone, Prince William went through the same anxiety and realized he was best served embracing the characteristic. I think that’s the best approach. Unfortunately you have Hollywood and other lifestyle influence setting the tone for men and women. Sometimes in the guise of helping, they hurt people “accept being obese” for example.
- dj_mc_merlin 6y ago> Plus, it has made putting on sweaters so much easier, and I never have to worry about helmet hair. I had a shaved head for a while, and the freedom of not having strands of really strong thin material attached to the top of your head was amazing. It is comparable to not having to wear a backpack. I went back to normal hair to enjoy it while it lasts though.
- d357r0y3r 6y agoWhen I was in my early 20s, I saw the writing on the wall w.r.t hair loss. I decided then, if I'm going to be bald, I'm at least going to be jacked. And so I got jacked. 10+ years later, I buzz my head with a 1 guard once every week or so. Hair is just a thing I don't think about. It's like `gofmt` or `prettier` for your head.
- cgh 6y agoSame here, except I use a #2. Nearly every guy can control his build and when you are younger, you are a testosterone-fueled muscle building machine. Young men (and women, to be honest) reading this: take advantage of it.
- SyzygistSix 6y agoYep. Fit and bald is far more attractive than a nice head of hair and schlubby. And by far the most important thing is to be happy with one's self, not based on external things.
- samstave 6y agoA good friend of mine did what Joe Rogan did: just shave it all off. The funny thing is that they both said the same thing: "I was so worried about how my thinning hair looked that I just decided to shave my head, and havent looked back since" And its funny they both look great completely bald - in fact with Joe Rogan, he looks odd to see old pics of him with hair. I dont know if I could pull off a full bald shave because I have a small head and big ears :-)
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- _448 6y agoMy maths teacher once joked that he finds it difficult every morning to wash his face as he don't know where his face starts and ends :D
- bjourne 6y agoHis specialty must be topology. :)
- agumonkey 6y agoI vaguely knew a dude who got bald at 20. Beside the slightly strange feeling in the early days it really never made a difference in how we were with him. But he was a cool guy so that helped.
- throwawayboise 6y agoI knew a guy who was losing his hair in high school. He always had girls around.
- agumonkey 6y agoEveryone has a budget.
- math_denial 6y agoWell, I started balding at 14. Started medications at 15 that stopped working at 19 (not that they ever "really" worked). My adolescence was pure hell and today I almost cry everytime I see myself in the mirror. So there's your counter-anecdote.
- Aloha 6y agoI started going gray in my mid 20's, and I made a similar choice. I just accepted that this is how its gonna be, and came to terms with it, not that I dont go out of my way to minimize it now that I'm in my late 30's thru hair cuts. But I dont bother with dye or any of that.
- da_big_ghey 6y agoI went gray young. The downside is that most younger women turned away and would no longer approach. They would also not respond very well if I did. And I did not want to date a person 15 years my senior, so it became hard.
- kvgr 6y agoWas shaving my head the best decision? Of course. I still had some hair in front and a lots on the sides. But top of my head is almost bald and my hair is quite thin. So I would always have bad hair and would fix it in the bathroom constantly. Wearing hat was a problem. Going on a holiday to tropical country - bad hair every day. I shaved that thing after returning from 4 weeks in Indonesia. I just had enough of it. A lot of women complimented my looks. My wife got used to it I think. But if there was a way of making my hair the way it was when I was young without side effects and transplants? I would probably try it. But until that day comes, I am shaving my head and don't care about anybody.
- maverick2007 6y agoAdding my anecdote to this thread: Started noticing hair loss in my early 20s but managed to convince myself that it was just stress. By my mid 20s when I was in a very low stress position I finally concluded that it was just plain MPB. I continued to ignore it for a while, just cutting my hair a little shorter than the longer hair that I wore before (usually more out of laziness than anything else). It finally came to a head a couple of months ago when I noticed that I had stopped turning the lights on when I went into the bathroom because I didn't want to see how thin my hair looked that day. That day I made an appointment with my doctor and got a prescription for Finasteride. Since I was very afraid of the sexual side effects of the drug, before I started I decided to shave my head to confirm my suspicions that I didn't like the shaved look. If I hated it, I'd start the medication and deal with the sides. Funny thing is, I really liked it. People don't treat me any differently than they did before which is what I was afraid of. Sure, women don't come up and hit on me but they never did when I had longer hair either so I consider it a wash. And I like it more and more now that I'm hitting the gym and adding muscle. Bald + muscular is a great look. Shaving my head (down to a #1 in my case) isn't my ideal situation but the way I see it, MPB is a better condition to have than many, many other genetic conditions. If you're where I was a couple of months ago and your thinning hair is stressing you out, just give it a shot and shave your head. Best case, you like it like I do. Worst case, you hate it and you can see if fin would work for you.
- ohrockhrhor 6y agoI think this is very wrong, and almost irresponsible. Without your hair, you will earn less money. Fewer people will do business with you (fewer investors, fewer contracts, fewer business partners). You will be paid less as an employee for the same work. You will be passed over for leadership positions. Fewer people will be friends with you. People will want to spend less time with you. You will not be invited to the same or as many parties as other people. Strangers on the street will look at you with pity and disgust. Children will shame you. No matter how inherently talented, intelligent, and hard-working you are, this will seep into every aspect of your life and rob you of success. It is a crippling disfigurement. And so, there are entire sections of the female population that won't touch you with a ten foot pole. Considering how painfully this impacts a persons life, they are right to do so. It is a travesty of evolution that male-pattern baldness exists. There currently isn't a way to re-grow lost hair. You have to do everything you can to keep what you have. The medication you mention, finasteride, might have sexual side effects, but for most people it doesn't. It's almost irrelevant if it does, because you won't have much of a sex life if you lose your hair. I wish I could have afforded it when I was young. If you can, go see a doctor at the first sign of hair loss. It's all you can do. If I hadn't lost my hair in my early twenties, I know that I would have been able to find romantic love, and have a better career. It is the single worst thing that has ever happened to me, and not a day goes by that I don't consider killing myself. It has made me less than human.
- Majestic121 6y agoWhile baldness definitely has a negative impact on most men life, it's merely a factor among many other things that can actually be controlled, and it's not life shattering on its own. If that's actually how you feel, it's pretty serious and I urge you to try and search for help in your environment : life does not have to be this bad, and it can get better.
- voisin 6y agoThis is the most absurdly ludicrous thing I have ever read, and I am not exaggerating for effect. I honestly cannot tell if this is a bad joke or sarcasm, because I can hardly imagine a human being who could believe such nonsense. If you experience any of this nonsense first hand it is because you believe it to be true and have created a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to change your perspective. Go see a therapist and work out your issues. I suggest reading some Gabor Mate and work on resolving unresolved childhood trauma (the only thing I imagine to be strong enough to create such self-limiting beliefs - assuming of course your post is not just a failed attempt as sarcasm).
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- twiceinawhile 6y ago> If it helps anyone else out there: no one else thinks about your hair besides you. People notice and care. Hair is sometimes seen as a health indicator and it matters to a degree in society. We've never had a bald president and probably never will. Look at the lengths Trump went to with his "hair". I doubt he would have been president had he been bald. The same goes for biden. Search for elon musk before and after hair. He wouldn't be the "media darling" if he looked the way he did in his paypal days. Also, it's probably easier dating or finding a mate if you were not bald - as a man or a woman. Consciously or unconsciously, many people hold negative associations when it comes to baldness. But it's not the end of the world and you shouldn't lose any sleep over it - unless you hope to be president one day or in a position where image matters. For the average joe, baldness doesn't matter much.
- throwawayboise 6y agoEisenhower was pretty bald.
- cassianoleal 6y agoI still remember the day I saw a quote on Twitter from an account that I think was called something like @PicardQuotes. Their tweets were usually little gems that could have been said by Capt. Picard. This particular quote was simply: "Bald is better than balding." When I realised there was no turning back, and not having hair would be a lot better than fighting against the inevitable, I started wearing my bare scalp with pride. It's a great look. It's also a lot easier to maintain. Don't get me wrong, if I weren't balding I wouldn't have done this and that would have been fine. That doesn't change the fact that this is also fine.
- thesuitonym 6y agoI love the way I look bald, but I don't have the wherewithall to keep my skin smooth. It's so much more work than just keeping a decent haircut.
- jobigoud 6y agoHow is it easier to maintain? If you want to be fully bald and look good you have to shave every day or every few days. For the balding "look" you don't have anything to do at all.
- cassianoleal 6y agoSorry, I meant it's easier to maintain than hair. Bald takes me 10-15 minutes at home a few days a week. It becomes part of the routine and doesn't add much to it. Having hair means daily washing/conditioning (depending on hair type and daily activities of course), combing/brushing, perhaps some styling in the morning and possibly during the day depending on how you like to look, there's not being able to shower just before sleep unless you like to sleep on a puddle and a rotten pillow, etc. On top of that, there's the periodic going to salon, getting hair cut, coming back home, and relearning how to style new hair since it's going to be slightly different than it was early that day. Balding also takes a lot of the above, if not all. Unless you like the mullet look with nothing at the top, which I personally don't. Bald is a lot easier for me. As always, YMMV.
- inglor_cz 6y agoI am a guy from a family whose members die of old age with a lion's mane of a hair. So far (being 42) I am on the same path. But greying of said lion's mane can happen in several ways, from very charming to something that looks like a mildew infestation. I am not sure yet how I am going to turn out, but it is coming. I hope the Japanese scientists can find some stem cells for melanocytes as well. Edit: a funny anecdote, my first high school love is very much into bald guys, but somehow I got a pass.
- FreshFries 6y agoClose to 60 here and I am in the same boat. I was so happy when my hair (on the sides) turned a little grey! I felt I deserved these with my age :) Still got a shit ton of hair on my head but at least it does not look like 20 anymore.
- matwood 6y agoI agree. My dad and his brothers were all bald fairly young, so I accepted that it would happen. I didn't really start losing my hair until my 30s, and for me at least, I just buzzed cut my hair and went on with my life. My wife, who I met after it was clear my hair was never coming back, asked me if I missed my hair. I pulled out some old pics of my late teens/20s where it was all the same length past my shoulders and her response was 'thank god you went bald'...
- bitwize 6y agoWhen I started losing my hair I tried minoxidil, until I realized two things: 1) it's not very effective; 2) it is highly, highly toxic to cats. I didn't have a cat at the time, but I decided that the ability to have a cat in my life was more important than any hair loss amelioration provided by minoxidil, and if I went bald then I went bald.
- playingchanges 6y agoCan confirm, shave your head no one cares, girls dig it if they dig you just like everything else. Just get used to wearing hats or carrying sunscreen lol.