6 ms·

Just sounds like bad parenting to me

by jjcon 6y ago

toomuchtodo 6y ago
Have you experienced being an only parent while trying to support a household with no safety net?
- randompwd 6y ago
  Regardless of the above statement, this is such a silly argument. You have to experience something to have an opinion on it now?
  - toomuchtodo 6y ago
    How can your opinion have any value without experience or education behind it?
  - testesttest 6y ago
    No but you shouldn't ignore those that have experience and you should not assume you know what is best for others.
  - threatofrain 6y ago
    What it does is give you Credibility. Don’t be surprised that a doctor or lawyer is afforded more credibility by having done something at least once.
  - LocalH 6y ago
    >You have to experience something to have an opinion on it now? No, but if you haven't experienced something, your opinion on it should hold less weight.
- umvi 6y ago
  In this case the single mom does have some safety nets (stamps for food, housing opportunities commission for rent), but there is way more than just basic survival she has to worry about. She's taking care of her mom who has failing health, she has health problems of her own, and she has a special needs daughter... it's just extremely hard to make sure all your kids are getting a quality education when you are burned out as a single parent.
- jjcon 6y ago
  Does how hard it is change that it is bad parenting? No it doesn’t. Just because someone has a hard life doesn’t excuse them from responsibility
TheAdamAndChe 6y ago
When you're a single parent working minimum wage with no nearby support structure and you can't afford daycare or anything like that, there aren't many options.
- mrmonkeyman 6y ago
  How is this my or society's fault? Lots of responsible poor people take the time to look after their own damn kids. Money's got nothing to do with it.
- jjcon 6y ago
  People can make excuses all they want - it doesn’t change the fact that it is bad parenting
  - sumedh 6y ago
    So what is your solution, just tell them to be good parents?
    - jjcon 6y ago
      Child protective services for one - it is criminal in most states to neglect your child’s education
      - allmkops 6y ago
        The only CPS involved in truancy enforcement is Chicago Public Schools. Even if it did work that way, do you want to be the one to tell a child they’re going to be removed to a foster/group home because their parent wasn’t strict enough / tech savvy enough?
      - sumedh 6y ago
        > Child protective services for one CPS is not perfect, there are many horror stories of sexual abuse in foster homes and other serious issues.
dang 6y ago
Please don't post shallow dismissals, and (related) please don't take HN threads further into flamewar. We're trying to avoid a hell of our own here. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
- toomuchtodo 6y ago
  I apologize if my comment was taking this subthread into flamewar territory, that was not my intent. Please feel free to detach at my top most comment (id=26133980) above from the remainder of the thread.
  - dang 6y ago
    I don't see your comment that way. I mean usually there's a movement flameward in each step, so it's always a matter of degree. But the comment that crossed the line, as I see it, is the one I replied to.
  - jjcon 6y ago
    Huh? I’m not dismissing anything in the op comment - just giving an equally succinct description of the problem as the replied - in no world is dismissing your child’s education good parenting - maybe they have an excuse but it doesn’t make it good parenting
  - icefrakker 6y ago
    It's funny how mods here are so heavy handed that users feel the need to grovel in their interactions with said mods.
rxsel 6y ago
This is such a shallow argument/opinion. It sounds like something said by someone so painfully unaware and insulated from the life being commented on. So instead, I’d be curious to know what your background and upbringing was like. I don’t think the child being mentioned would consider CPS a good option like you argued for in another comment.

Just sounds like bad parenting to me

by jjcon 6y ago

Just sounds like bad parenting to me

toomuchtodo 6y ago

Have you experienced being an only parent while trying to support a household with no safety net?

randompwd 6y ago
Regardless of the above statement, this is such a silly argument. You have to experience something to have an opinion on it now?
- toomuchtodo 6y ago
  How can your opinion have any value without experience or education behind it?
- testesttest 6y ago
  No but you shouldn't ignore those that have experience and you should not assume you know what is best for others.
- threatofrain 6y ago
  What it does is give you Credibility. Don’t be surprised that a doctor or lawyer is afforded more credibility by having done something at least once.
- LocalH 6y ago
  >You have to experience something to have an opinion on it now? No, but if you haven't experienced something, your opinion on it should hold less weight.
umvi 6y ago
In this case the single mom does have some safety nets (stamps for food, housing opportunities commission for rent), but there is way more than just basic survival she has to worry about. She's taking care of her mom who has failing health, she has health problems of her own, and she has a special needs daughter... it's just extremely hard to make sure all your kids are getting a quality education when you are burned out as a single parent.
jjcon 6y ago
Does how hard it is change that it is bad parenting? No it doesn’t. Just because someone has a hard life doesn’t excuse them from responsibility

TheAdamAndChe 6y ago

When you're a single parent working minimum wage with no nearby support structure and you can't afford daycare or anything like that, there aren't many options.

mrmonkeyman 6y ago
How is this my or society's fault? Lots of responsible poor people take the time to look after their own damn kids. Money's got nothing to do with it.
jjcon 6y ago
People can make excuses all they want - it doesn’t change the fact that it is bad parenting
- sumedh 6y ago
  So what is your solution, just tell them to be good parents?
  - jjcon 6y ago
    Child protective services for one - it is criminal in most states to neglect your child’s education
    - allmkops 6y ago
      The only CPS involved in truancy enforcement is Chicago Public Schools. Even if it did work that way, do you want to be the one to tell a child they’re going to be removed to a foster/group home because their parent wasn’t strict enough / tech savvy enough?
    - sumedh 6y ago
      > Child protective services for one CPS is not perfect, there are many horror stories of sexual abuse in foster homes and other serious issues.

dang 6y ago

Please don't post shallow dismissals, and (related) please don't take HN threads further into flamewar. We're trying to avoid a hell of our own here. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

toomuchtodo 6y ago
I apologize if my comment was taking this subthread into flamewar territory, that was not my intent. Please feel free to detach at my top most comment (id=26133980) above from the remainder of the thread.
- dang 6y ago
  I don't see your comment that way. I mean usually there's a movement flameward in each step, so it's always a matter of degree. But the comment that crossed the line, as I see it, is the one I replied to.
- jjcon 6y ago
  Huh? I’m not dismissing anything in the op comment - just giving an equally succinct description of the problem as the replied - in no world is dismissing your child’s education good parenting - maybe they have an excuse but it doesn’t make it good parenting
- icefrakker 6y ago
  It's funny how mods here are so heavy handed that users feel the need to grovel in their interactions with said mods.

rxsel 6y ago

This is such a shallow argument/opinion. It sounds like something said by someone so painfully unaware and insulated from the life being commented on. So instead, I’d be curious to know what your background and upbringing was like. I don’t think the child being mentioned would consider CPS a good option like you argued for in another comment.