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No. It was a 100% gender thing. Notice that the comment never mentioned that men shouldn't divorce because they are past their 20s when they should be finding

No. It was a 100% gender thing. Notice that the comment never mentioned that men shouldn't divorce because they are past their 20s when they should be finding a wife. Notice that the comment never mentions that high-quality women would never want to raise someone else's kid. GP's comment is less valid because it is from an era where women were less-than.

throwaway3699 6y ago
I think you're reading way too much into that comment. It's generally considered a fact that women have a slightly (statistically) more difficult time than men to find a partner after their 20s (and the reverse is true - men have it tougher in their 20s compared to women), and GP's comment is discussing why that complicates things wrt divorce. > Notice that the comment never mentions that high-quality women would never want to raise someone else's kid. I think that "high quality" means that they don't want to be second best to another man/woman. Totally understandable.
oblio 6y ago
> No. It was a 100% gender thing. > Notice that the comment never mentioned that men shouldn't divorce because they are past their 20s when they should be finding a wife. > Notice that the comment never mentions that high-quality women would never want to raise someone else's kid. > GP's comment is less valid because it is from an era where women were less-than. In what world do you live in where on average older women are considered more desirable partners than older men? By and large men are attracted to looks (or they prioritize looks a lot more than other qualities) while women are attracted to a set of qualities besides looks (or they prioritize other qualities a lot more than looks). You can argue that's sexist and old-fashioned, but that's just how attraction works. Good luck changing the world!
pbhjpbhj 6y ago
> This isn't a gender thing. [...] (being an old parent just sucks) [...] // There is a deal of sex-based difference here: being an older mother is harmful for the mother and the child; being an older father is far, far, less so (older fathers might be better for their kids?). Young women can choose a mate from all ages of men. Young men need to choose a mate -- if they wish to procreate I mean -- from the pool of fertile and healthy younger women. Medical science has eroded a little of that difference, but it still starts to get dangerous for women to fall pregnant in their late-30s. An example of how that difference plays out is that in a childless couple at age 50 the woman basically has no chance to have children of her own, but the male could quite reasonably be expected to be fertile for a couple more decades. Thus, if a couple are unable to procreate and the male wishes to do so, then there is a tension; a biological impetus towards them leaving their wife and finding another partner.
- graphpapa 6y ago
  But procreation-related-statistics only tell the story of one aspect of a persons life. A divorce can be new start, and life has much more to offer than ‘choosing your mate’

throwaway3699 6y ago

I think you're reading way too much into that comment. It's generally considered a fact that women have a slightly (statistically) more difficult time than men to find a partner after their 20s (and the reverse is true - men have it tougher in their 20s compared to women), and GP's comment is discussing why that complicates things wrt divorce. > Notice that the comment never mentions that high-quality women would never want to raise someone else's kid. I think that "high quality" means that they don't want to be second best to another man/woman. Totally understandable.

oblio 6y ago

> No. It was a 100% gender thing. > Notice that the comment never mentioned that men shouldn't divorce because they are past their 20s when they should be finding a wife. > Notice that the comment never mentions that high-quality women would never want to raise someone else's kid. > GP's comment is less valid because it is from an era where women were less-than. In what world do you live in where on average older women are considered more desirable partners than older men? By and large men are attracted to looks (or they prioritize looks a lot more than other qualities) while women are attracted to a set of qualities besides looks (or they prioritize other qualities a lot more than looks). You can argue that's sexist and old-fashioned, but that's just how attraction works. Good luck changing the world!

pbhjpbhj 6y ago

> This isn't a gender thing. [...] (being an old parent just sucks) [...] // There is a deal of sex-based difference here: being an older mother is harmful for the mother and the child; being an older father is far, far, less so (older fathers might be better for their kids?). Young women can choose a mate from all ages of men. Young men need to choose a mate -- if they wish to procreate I mean -- from the pool of fertile and healthy younger women. Medical science has eroded a little of that difference, but it still starts to get dangerous for women to fall pregnant in their late-30s. An example of how that difference plays out is that in a childless couple at age 50 the woman basically has no chance to have children of her own, but the male could quite reasonably be expected to be fertile for a couple more decades. Thus, if a couple are unable to procreate and the male wishes to do so, then there is a tension; a biological impetus towards them leaving their wife and finding another partner.

graphpapa 6y ago
But procreation-related-statistics only tell the story of one aspect of a persons life. A divorce can be new start, and life has much more to offer than ‘choosing your mate’