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Most boys learn to mask their emotional state once the teenage years roll around owing to various vectors of messaging. I fear too many people are relieved by t
by imbnwa 6y ago
Most boys learn to mask their emotional state once the teenage years roll around owing to various vectors of messaging. I fear too many people are relieved by the ease of interface this brings about, but it can and usually is very deceptive. The consequent lack of communication just makes a void that gets filled with all sorts of terrible information about being "CHAD OR NOT" amongst other garbage that has to be unlearned.
- jcims 6y agoSuicide statistics would seem to correlate: (edit: changed link, didn't realize how spammy statista.com is) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_the_United_States https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_the_United_States
- throwaway2245 6y agoThe gender gap in the USA/Western Europe appears to be a lot bigger than it is in the rest of the world. A ratio of 3.4 in the US (77% male) as opposed to 1.7 globally (63% male).
- flerchin 6y agoMen in the US commit suicide by gun. More effective.
- DoreenMichele 6y agoI'm sure that's a factor, but I imagine it's more complicated than that.
- scarmig 6y agoYou find similar suicide gender ratios in societies where guns are heavily regulated and comprise a small minority of suicides (e.g. UK, Japan).
- generalizations 6y agoIIRC there's another stat that shows men are more likely to be successful when they try.
- scarmig 6y agoBasically, across most developed countries, women attempt to commit suicide 3x more than men, but men complete suicide 3x more than women. So men are approximately 10x as likely to succeed when they do try. This is a combination of male suicide attempts being underreported and gendered differences in suicide as a cry for help vs a desire to end it all. There's also a minor statistical effect where a single suicidal women will attempt suicide multiple times vs a single suicidal male attempting it once (so you get different numbers comparing suicide attempts by gender vs people who have attempted suicide by gender).
- throwaway0a5e 6y agoJapanese men seem to make do just fine.
- exporectomy 6y agoI see this claim a lot whenever suicide gender imbalance comes up. I think it's really an political idea trying to compensate for the idea that girls who attempt suicide are doing it to seek attention rather than to actually die. Some things to consider: People who attempt suicide to seek attention are still suffering serious problems and it's not something to judge as "not a real problem". Men and boys engage in risky activities which aren't classified as suicide attempts but may be exacerbated by wanting to die, such as violence, drug abuse, dangerous driving, even extreme sports. Men sometimes commit suicide in very deliberate and carefully planned ways that ensure success. That's bound to be more successful than spontaneously running into the bathroom and swallowing every tablet in the medicine cupboard. Sometimes this is because they believe they've failed their social obligations and will never be respected. Eg. cheating on their wife, beating their wife, being unemployed, etc.
- fallingfrog 6y agoIt’s funny how a little line on a graph can flood you with emotion. I looked at the little line for 10-14 years and seeing that it’s not zero..
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- kortilla 6y agoYep, it starts really early in grade school with the relentless teasing boys receive for crying. You learn to bottle that shit up by 4th grade to make it as a “big kid”.
- Aeolun 6y agoI dunno, 33 now, still can’t bottle that shit up. I just make sure to avoid situations that would lead to it. To be fair, I don’t recall ever being teased for crying.
- brobdingnagians 6y agoOur culture doesn't have a lot of coming of age rituals or expectations. Lack of purpose and responsibility does not do good things to people or societies. Ambiguity in self identity can lead to emotional and psychological isolation, and things like loneliness epidemics. I totally agree with the need for communication, expectations/helping set goals, and love is spelled T.I.M.E.
- pdow 6y agoAnother example I'll add to my collection of liberal misgivings. Liberal democracy and the liberal social and economic orders have done so much good for western societies, but this is another great example of how something they have displaced -- coming of age rituals and expectations -- has really had a negative impact on the people living in them.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- nsajko 6y agoWhat rituals and expectations are you thinking about?
- milkytron 6y agoMy guess would be coming of age celebrations such as bar/bat mitzvahs, quinceneras, etc.
- ksec 6y agoYes. Unfortunately the society as a whole still dont recognise it as a problem. I am generally MUCH more worried about my boys in the modern world than my girls.
- ajsnigrutin 6y ago"leaving boys behind" is a big problem in current times, and still noone does anything about it. This is especially seen in education, where girls/women outnumber boys/men in higher education by huge margins (university of ljubljana here is 60:40 women, so 50% more women enrolled).
- langitbiru 6y agoYou are not alone. https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2020/10/07/americans-are-more-worried-about-their-sons-than-their-daughters/ https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2020/10/07/americans...