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That's probably true, but I can tell you that in my previous two jobs, I said "no" a lot, and I basically managed to maneuver into a spot where my boss let me e

That's probably true, but I can tell you that in my previous two jobs, I said "no" a lot, and I basically managed to maneuver into a spot where my boss let me essentially work on what I wanted. I got raises and commendations. I was surprised, but it's like, to some extent, the more assertive and confident you are, the more they respect you. My personal experience has been that when it comes to getting promotions/raises, being liked by your coworkers (including your boss) is 10X more important than the amount of output you produce. You should try to be on friendly terms with your boss... And of course, if a friend asks you to do something, sometimes you say yes, sometimes you say "I would like to help, but I'm feeling saturated with the projects I already have going on right now, to be honest", and a good friend/manager understands that. An extra dimension to this is that you don't necessarily need to get promoted in your current job. In the software industry, it's easy to move from one job to another, and when you move laterally, you can often negotiate a better salary. Again, here, being liked by your coworkers is particularly important. If your coworkers like you, they will give you good referrals. If you can get a referral from your previous boss, that speaks volumes.

throwaway713 6y ago
> being liked by your coworkers (including your boss) is 10X more important than the amount of output you produce Is this really true? I can think of people I like very well as a person, but they are extremely unproductive and I would not want to have them on a project with me. On the flip side, there are people that I would not say I am friends with (not enemies either, just neutral interactions) who do an excellent job at getting work done and who I have given very positive peer feedback to. I always hope that things like promotions aren’t popularity contests, but I never can tell for sure how much that’s the case, particularly at higher levels of management...
- belval 6y ago
  10X is a huge factor, I would say it's about half-half. One thing to keep in mind is that these things are not exclusive. Having a good relationship with your superior usually means more trust, better projects and much better communications which is key to actually getting what you need to fulfill your assignments. It works with both extremes. If your work output is awesome but you have a harder time with inter-personal relationship then of course in the greater picture you will be left out because people just won't come to you.
- violetgarden 6y ago
  Unfortunately, unless you have someone to vouch for you, it kind of can be a popularity contest. This is from a corporate point of view, where lower managers have to appeal up the chain to fight for promotions for their people. It’s much easier for the higher ups to grant promotions to the people they’ve heard of.
- bluGill 6y ago
  Yes, but context is important. Most people separate personal likes from office likes to at least some extent. Part of being liked in the office is being seen as productive enough. You can like someone personally and hate them on the job. You can hate someone personally and still like them on the job.
- jimbokun 6y ago
  "...but they are extremely unproductive and I would not want to have them on a project with me." So clearly you don't like them, as a coworker, even though you like them as a friend.
yters 6y ago
In one job I was a tech lead, and said no to my boss a lot to maintain my team's focus. We ended up delivering, the boss was pleased, my teammates were happy, and I got a raise.

throwaway713 6y ago

> being liked by your coworkers (including your boss) is 10X more important than the amount of output you produce Is this really true? I can think of people I like very well as a person, but they are extremely unproductive and I would not want to have them on a project with me. On the flip side, there are people that I would not say I am friends with (not enemies either, just neutral interactions) who do an excellent job at getting work done and who I have given very positive peer feedback to. I always hope that things like promotions aren’t popularity contests, but I never can tell for sure how much that’s the case, particularly at higher levels of management...

belval 6y ago
10X is a huge factor, I would say it's about half-half. One thing to keep in mind is that these things are not exclusive. Having a good relationship with your superior usually means more trust, better projects and much better communications which is key to actually getting what you need to fulfill your assignments. It works with both extremes. If your work output is awesome but you have a harder time with inter-personal relationship then of course in the greater picture you will be left out because people just won't come to you.
violetgarden 6y ago
Unfortunately, unless you have someone to vouch for you, it kind of can be a popularity contest. This is from a corporate point of view, where lower managers have to appeal up the chain to fight for promotions for their people. It’s much easier for the higher ups to grant promotions to the people they’ve heard of.
bluGill 6y ago
Yes, but context is important. Most people separate personal likes from office likes to at least some extent. Part of being liked in the office is being seen as productive enough. You can like someone personally and hate them on the job. You can hate someone personally and still like them on the job.
jimbokun 6y ago
"...but they are extremely unproductive and I would not want to have them on a project with me." So clearly you don't like them, as a coworker, even though you like them as a friend.

yters 6y ago

In one job I was a tech lead, and said no to my boss a lot to maintain my team's focus. We ended up delivering, the boss was pleased, my teammates were happy, and I got a raise.