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Not your parent poster, but I view the initial emotional reaction to an event as "an emotion that is to be observed, cannot be prevented, but must only reach th

Not your parent poster, but I view the initial emotional reaction to an event as "an emotion that is to be observed, cannot be prevented, but must only reach the surface if the situation calls for it." Say you are talking in a small group of people. You perceive something that someone says to you as an implied insult. You _will_ feel a flash of anger, you should observe that you are angry as it bubbles up through you, but you MUST choose (a) whether or not they meant it as an insult , (b) whether or not to let it show on your face and (c) if you are going to call it out gently, call it out with a "Hey!", or turn into a pillar of rage in public (unwise, of course, but an option). But in that moment, when you feel that initial impulse of emotion, I assert (without evidence) that the emotion cannot be suppressed -- only your outward appearance can be modulated.

patcon 6y ago
I think this is really thoughtful. In mindfulness practices, I've heard it mentioned as "noting without judgement". Maybe this is all just a matter of labels :)
- clankyclanker 6y ago
  There’s also the issue of internal versus external. I’ve always been off the mindset that you never have to apologize for your feelings, but you should comport yourself so that you never have to apologize for your actions toward yourself or others. Feelings are tricky to control even after you’ve noticed them, and maybe even after you’ve evaluated them. Therefore spending energy on them is not always judicious. However, every action is a choice, and letting your feelings drive you to doing something regrettable is, well, regrettable.
rhizome 6y ago
You have discovered: Spinoza's "Ethics," which, in an essay bouncing between the Bible (where I stopped reading every word) and Aristotle and Plato, is notably missing. That said, she doesn't say that she acted on it (and only implies that she didn't), so a lot of this thread reads as melodrama.
xupybd 6y ago
I've noticed that while I can't control my emotional reactions, only what I do with them. The emotional reactions I allow to surface more often become more frequent and dominant. If I fight my angry impulses they happen less frequently. I find the same with any impulse. I struggle to eat healthy, spend healthy and stay focused 100% of the time. But the more I do these things the less effort they require.

patcon 6y ago

I think this is really thoughtful. In mindfulness practices, I've heard it mentioned as "noting without judgement". Maybe this is all just a matter of labels :)

clankyclanker 6y ago
There’s also the issue of internal versus external. I’ve always been off the mindset that you never have to apologize for your feelings, but you should comport yourself so that you never have to apologize for your actions toward yourself or others. Feelings are tricky to control even after you’ve noticed them, and maybe even after you’ve evaluated them. Therefore spending energy on them is not always judicious. However, every action is a choice, and letting your feelings drive you to doing something regrettable is, well, regrettable.

rhizome 6y ago

You have discovered: Spinoza's "Ethics," which, in an essay bouncing between the Bible (where I stopped reading every word) and Aristotle and Plato, is notably missing. That said, she doesn't say that she acted on it (and only implies that she didn't), so a lot of this thread reads as melodrama.

xupybd 6y ago

I've noticed that while I can't control my emotional reactions, only what I do with them. The emotional reactions I allow to surface more often become more frequent and dominant. If I fight my angry impulses they happen less frequently. I find the same with any impulse. I struggle to eat healthy, spend healthy and stay focused 100% of the time. But the more I do these things the less effort they require.