7 ms·

Thats a rehash of an old joke: I know it soviet style: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter

Thats a rehash of an old joke: I know it soviet style: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "in a balloon". The mathematician remarks, ah, he must be a philosopher. The others: "how do you know?" "Well, for once he needed a lot of time to answer. Then his answer is correct with our objective reality. And lastly, his answer is completely useless to us." (in eastern soviet republics, philosophy was not in high regards, because the peoples governments were supposed to be philosophical (a la Marx) government, with in theory, very high standards)

plasticchris 6y ago
I heard this one but it's a mathematician and a physicist in the balloon, and the physicist says the person must be a mathematician. As told by a math professor...
lb1lf 6y ago
A Soviet engineer needs some plumbing done in his apartment, and calls for a plumber. The plumber arrives, does his thing, and hands over the bill. The engineer is shocked. -'What, this is like a quarter of what I make in a month - for half an hour's work???' Plumber shrugs. -'Well, why don't you come join us? Easy work, well paid, no responsibility - just remember to keep mum about your degree, as we're not supposed to hire academics.' Our engineer contemplates this for a while, applies for a job as a plumber - and gets it. All is well, good money, no responsibilites - until management requires that they take evening school classes to gain new skills and thus better build socialism. So, grudgingly, our engineer enrolls in a math class and, upon arriving, finds that the teacher wants to establish what the plumbers already know. -'You over there - could you please come to the blackboard and show us the formula for the area of a circle?' he asks our engineer. Standing at the blackboard, he suddenly realizes he can't for the life of him remember the formula; while a bit rusty, he soon figures out how to reason it out - furiously writing out integrals on the blackboard, only to find the area of a circle is -(pi)*r^2. Minus? How did a negative enter into it, he thinks, going over his calculations once again. No, still gets the same result. Sweat building, he turns away from the blackboard for a moment, turning to the other plumbers watching. As in one voice, they all whisper -'Comrade, you must switch the limits to the integral!'
- stevage 6y ago
  I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?
  - shard 6y ago
    I believe the implication is that all the plumbers are advanced degree holders, not just the engineer.
  - lb1lf 6y ago
    -The idea is that all the plumbers are academics looking for the easy life. :)
  - ayepif 6y ago
    They're all former academics/mathematicians!
  - infomax 6y ago
    They are all engineers in disguise.
  - stavros 6y ago
    The limits are the shackles of oppression, the integral is the proletariat and switching is disavowing capitalism and seizing the means of production.
    - mst 6y ago
      That was completely unhelpful but also hilarious. As such, a perfect russian joke.
      - StavrosK 6y ago
        Thank you, that's what I was going for!
    - zoom6628 6y ago
MaxBarraclough 6y ago
I'm reminded of a joke I heard from a talk by the philosopher Dan Dennett: A philosopher takes his friend to a magic show. After the usual business of vanishing a few small mammals, the magician's assistant lies in a magic box, and the magician, with a dramatic flair, begins to saw through the box. The philosopher's friend leans over and asks What do you think is really going on? The philosopher gives it a moment's thought and replies They're using illusionist skills to give us the impression that he's sawing someone in two, but really he isn't. The philosopher's friend, unsatisfied, asks Right, but how? The philosopher shrugs dismissively, That's really not my department.
- NoOneNew 6y ago
  A. Good joke. B. I hate how applicable this joke is to my life. Except I'm the friend asking, then has to figure all the shit out because all the people around me with degrees cant tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.
benibela 6y ago
Could change it like that: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "yes". The mathematician remarks, ah, he must be a logician. The others: "how do you know?" "Well, for once he needed a lot of time to answer. Then his answer is logically correct. And lastly, his answer is completely useless to us."

plasticchris 6y ago

I heard this one but it's a mathematician and a physicist in the balloon, and the physicist says the person must be a mathematician. As told by a math professor...

lb1lf 6y ago

A Soviet engineer needs some plumbing done in his apartment, and calls for a plumber. The plumber arrives, does his thing, and hands over the bill. The engineer is shocked. -'What, this is like a quarter of what I make in a month - for half an hour's work???' Plumber shrugs. -'Well, why don't you come join us? Easy work, well paid, no responsibility - just remember to keep mum about your degree, as we're not supposed to hire academics.' Our engineer contemplates this for a while, applies for a job as a plumber - and gets it. All is well, good money, no responsibilites - until management requires that they take evening school classes to gain new skills and thus better build socialism. So, grudgingly, our engineer enrolls in a math class and, upon arriving, finds that the teacher wants to establish what the plumbers already know. -'You over there - could you please come to the blackboard and show us the formula for the area of a circle?' he asks our engineer. Standing at the blackboard, he suddenly realizes he can't for the life of him remember the formula; while a bit rusty, he soon figures out how to reason it out - furiously writing out integrals on the blackboard, only to find the area of a circle is -(pi)*r^2. Minus? How did a negative enter into it, he thinks, going over his calculations once again. No, still gets the same result. Sweat building, he turns away from the blackboard for a moment, turning to the other plumbers watching. As in one voice, they all whisper -'Comrade, you must switch the limits to the integral!'

stevage 6y ago
I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?
- shard 6y ago
  I believe the implication is that all the plumbers are advanced degree holders, not just the engineer.
- lb1lf 6y ago
  -The idea is that all the plumbers are academics looking for the easy life. :)
- ayepif 6y ago
  They're all former academics/mathematicians!
- infomax 6y ago
  They are all engineers in disguise.
- stavros 6y ago
  The limits are the shackles of oppression, the integral is the proletariat and switching is disavowing capitalism and seizing the means of production.
  - mst 6y ago
    That was completely unhelpful but also hilarious. As such, a perfect russian joke.
    - StavrosK 6y ago
      Thank you, that's what I was going for!
  - zoom6628 6y ago

MaxBarraclough 6y ago

I'm reminded of a joke I heard from a talk by the philosopher Dan Dennett: A philosopher takes his friend to a magic show. After the usual business of vanishing a few small mammals, the magician's assistant lies in a magic box, and the magician, with a dramatic flair, begins to saw through the box. The philosopher's friend leans over and asks What do you think is really going on? The philosopher gives it a moment's thought and replies They're using illusionist skills to give us the impression that he's sawing someone in two, but really he isn't. The philosopher's friend, unsatisfied, asks Right, but how? The philosopher shrugs dismissively, That's really not my department.

NoOneNew 6y ago
A. Good joke. B. I hate how applicable this joke is to my life. Except I'm the friend asking, then has to figure all the shit out because all the people around me with degrees cant tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.

benibela 6y ago

Could change it like that: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "yes". The mathematician remarks, ah, he must be a logician. The others: "how do you know?" "Well, for once he needed a lot of time to answer. Then his answer is logically correct. And lastly, his answer is completely useless to us."