8 ms·
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the ba
by raphyjake 6y ago
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first mathematician orders a beer.
The second orders half a beer.
"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies.
"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2.
"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."
"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along".
"There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."
"But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"
"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender.
"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics".
"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"
"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches
Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.
The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"
The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"
The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.
A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"
"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."
- athriren 6y agothis has levels.
- refulgentis 6y ago90% through I reached for the flag button, 2 seconds later, I'm weeping. Thank you
- bigdict 6y agoI want to hear Norm Macdonald tell this joke.
- CGamesPlay 6y agoI feel like this is every corny maths joke all rolled into one. Very creative.
- whoisburbansky 6y agoThe "you learn limits in like, 9th grade" comment reminds me of this one: Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed. She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"? He repeats "one third x cubed". She says, "one thir dex cuebd"? Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...". The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?". The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"
- dvfjsdhgfv 6y ago> ask the blonde waitress an integral I know this is a fun thread, but in real life you could have serious problems if you tell this kind of jokes. To my fellow downvoters: I hate it as much as you do.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- selestify 6y agoAgreed. Although it should be fine if you know your audience and redact only as needed.
- yholio 6y agoWell, the joke is a play on those gender stereotypes, the blonde waitress clearly knows much more then even the optimistic mathematician expects. The butt of the joke here is the university system and the jobs market.
- barakados 6y agoHey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.
- Judgmentality 6y ago> Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. When is it okay to repeat a joke from the internet and when is it not?
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- 0-_-0 6y agoJoke piracy is rampant these days...
- raphyjake 6y agoI had no idea where this was from. Sadly the guy who sent it to me didn't tell me the joke was under copyright
- barakados 6y agoYou never googled the joke to see where it was from?
- ulucs 6y agoAn infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where a beer costs 3$. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders two beers. The third mathematician orders three beers. "Oh, I see where this is going" says the bartender and pays a quarter to the first mathematician. "This should cover your check, then."
- paraknight 6y agoCan you explain?
- duffmancd 6y agoThe sum of all positive integers can be somewhat described as negative one twelfth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-d9mgo8FGk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-d9mgo8FGk
- 9000 6y agoIt's referencing a theorem from string theory, as discussed in this Numberphile video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-I6XTVZXww https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-I6XTVZXww The catch is that this isn't valid in what we consider standard mathematics, and you can find many discussions of this online, but this one is fairly short and straightforward: http://curiouscheetah.com/BlogMath/infinity-and-string-theory/ http://curiouscheetah.com/BlogMath/infinity-and-string-theor...
- dmlerner 6y ago1 + 2 + 3 + ... = -1/12 total beers -1/12 beers * $3 / beer = -$0.25 negative -> pay them for taking the beer The -1/12 result is pretty widely known, but not particularly true. It's called "analytic continuation." There's a nonrigorous proof that's accessible at a highschool level - see [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1_%2B_2_%2B_3_%2B_4_%2B_%E2%8B%AF https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1_%2B_2_%2B_3_%2B_4_%2B_%E2%8B...) Delightfully, this comes up in string theory, in computing the dimensionality of spacetime.
- smolder 6y agoIs this an antijoke or did I just need to know where it's going, like the bartender? Maybe the bartender is confused?
- froh 6y agoSo the programmers joke here is the silent nod to jamie zawinski, as a maths savvy guy who is bartending? https://www.jwz.org/about.html https://www.jwz.org/about.html
- mkl 6y agoDon't click this link, copy and paste it. JWZ redirects clicks from HN.
- kroltan 6y agoOr click it too! It's pretty hilarious
- Grebbles 6y agoHow exactly does a redirect like that work? I didn't know links provided context when loading the subsequent page.
- ayewo 6y agoThe web server was configured to check the referrer. If (referrer === ‘https://news.ycombinator.com’) { // show offensive pic of male genitalia }
- abiogenesis 6y agohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTP_referer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTP_referer
- mkl 6y agoI prefer snappier versions of the first half, like: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "Give me a beer." The second says, "I'll have a half a beer." The third says, "A quarter of a beer, please." The bartender pours two beers and says, "Come on, people. Know your limits." Copy-pasted from https://owlcation.com/stem/Worst-Math-Jokes-and-Math-Puns https://owlcation.com/stem/Worst-Math-Jokes-and-Math-Puns, but there are many similar versions.
- andi999 6y agoYes. The version before was like going nowhere.
- elwell 6y ago> and with that, they vanish. I feel like that was the most hilarious part, and the joke could have ended there as like an anti-joke of sorts. I like how crazy it got with the "FOOLS" part. Unexpected...
- johnchristopher 6y agoOhoooo, that was a nice one !
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]