4 ms·

I beg to differ. What is considered as normal in some cultures, can be considered offensive in other cultures. It's not because those people lack empathy.

sneak 6y ago
What matters is who is doing the considering. Each friendship between people is its own "culture" in that sense; I don't generally do things that my friend would consider offensive, if they are actually my friend. It's nothing to do with the wider culture or ethnic environment, or what third parties may or may not be offended by: I don't do things that I know would hurt my friends.
- woutr_be 6y ago
  We could go into a whole debate about this. From my perspective, I don't think they're wrong, at the end of the day, I'm a foreigner in their country, and it's up to me to adjust my mindset. I don't think it's up to them to change their behavior because I find something offensive, that to them is not considered offensive.
- wjnc 6y ago
  An interesting thing I experience in making friends later in life is mapping expectations about 'what friends do' (I guess I pester and expect to be pestered about a lot of personal things, the closer the friendship the more personal the teasing should be) to expectation 'new' friends have about the relationship.
- yowlingcat 6y ago
  > I don't generally do things that my friend would consider offensive, if they are actually my friend. > I don't do things that I know would hurt my friends. These two statements seem like they could be in conflict with each other. Suppose your friend has a methamphetamine addiction, but they consider it offensive for you to bring it up. Do you not bring it up ever because it's offensive to them?
  - sneak 6y ago
    No, of course not. Inaction/silence doesn't harm someone. Furthermore, what someone who isn't me puts in their own body is none of my business.
- nradov 6y ago
  You're describing a very superficial form of friendship. A true friend holds you accountable and tells you what you need to hear, even when it offends you.

sneak 6y ago

What matters is who is doing the considering. Each friendship between people is its own "culture" in that sense; I don't generally do things that my friend would consider offensive, if they are actually my friend. It's nothing to do with the wider culture or ethnic environment, or what third parties may or may not be offended by: I don't do things that I know would hurt my friends.

woutr_be 6y ago
We could go into a whole debate about this. From my perspective, I don't think they're wrong, at the end of the day, I'm a foreigner in their country, and it's up to me to adjust my mindset. I don't think it's up to them to change their behavior because I find something offensive, that to them is not considered offensive.
wjnc 6y ago
An interesting thing I experience in making friends later in life is mapping expectations about 'what friends do' (I guess I pester and expect to be pestered about a lot of personal things, the closer the friendship the more personal the teasing should be) to expectation 'new' friends have about the relationship.
yowlingcat 6y ago
> I don't generally do things that my friend would consider offensive, if they are actually my friend. > I don't do things that I know would hurt my friends. These two statements seem like they could be in conflict with each other. Suppose your friend has a methamphetamine addiction, but they consider it offensive for you to bring it up. Do you not bring it up ever because it's offensive to them?
- sneak 6y ago
  No, of course not. Inaction/silence doesn't harm someone. Furthermore, what someone who isn't me puts in their own body is none of my business.
nradov 6y ago
You're describing a very superficial form of friendship. A true friend holds you accountable and tells you what you need to hear, even when it offends you.