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Uprooting and going away with no warning, and then refusing to communicate unless it's not from an old platform sounds is a perfect recipe for being seen as awf

Uprooting and going away with no warning, and then refusing to communicate unless it's not from an old platform sounds is a perfect recipe for being seen as awfully arrogant. The issue here is that it's a sudden approach. Humans are creatures of habit, and shifting interpersonal relationships slowly matters. This is not an API migration to a new provider where you push a commit or two and it's done. If you explain why, then the other person may even sympathise. If you don't, you will be seen as unreasonable and puritanical.

boogies 6y ago
To me it seems to be being somewhat intolerant. Which is a powerful way for minorities to effect change. https://medium.com/incerto/the-most-intolerant-wins-the-dictatorship-of-the-small-minority-3f1f83ce4e15#.z5ry4bucq https://medium.com/incerto/the-most-intolerant-wins-the-dict...
- lotsofpulp 6y ago
  The crucial part of that whole post is this caveat: >Second, the cost structure matters quite a bit. It happens in our first example that making lemonade compliant with Kosher laws doesn’t change the price by much, not enough to justify inventories. Might makes right. Being intolerant AND either needing little economic/physical power, or bringing with you significant economic/physical power is what effects change. Which is the problem with convincing people to switch apps. Either you are important enough to the person that needs to switch apps, or switching the app is so low cost that the person that needs to switch doesn't care. Unfortunately, the switching costs is usually too high for most people's tastes.
  - boogies 6y ago
    > Either you are important enough to the person that needs to switch apps, or switching the app is so low cost that the person that needs to switch doesn't care. Unfortunately, the switching costs is usually too high for most people's tastes. Or a mixture. In the case of eg. Matrix or IRC, the cost can be tapping a link and typing a couple things into the browser. That’s probably not low enough for most people to do for everyone they’re in any group chat with, but I think it’s reasonable to do for a family member (my immediate and extended family were willing to do that with Jitsi Meet for me), and most people have a few family members, including enough techy people to make a difference and plant seeds for some change.
Abishek_Muthian 6y ago
Hence I included 'Politely', I should have also included I've been doing this for ~ 2 years. My primary mode of communication is email, 100% for professional communication. Yes, there are people who are offended when I impose such communication criteria and I've lost business opportunities. But thoughtful communications due to non-real-time nature of email has qualitatively increased and not having to touch the phone often has resulted in better physical and mental health(the whole reason for me making these major changes in first place)[1]. [1]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25619584 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25619584 (Related comment on another thread with more details and a good counter opinion).
crazydoggers 6y ago
How is it arrogant to dictate personal boundaries? If your not comfortable using a messaging app, you don’t have to use it. Why are you suggesting that everyone needs to bow to peer pressure or they’re arrogant? If I suddenly decide one day I don’t want to drink alcohol but all my friends do, if they see me as arrogant because of that, that’s their problem, not mine. I’m under no obligation to slowly stop drinking because of them.
- amelius 6y ago
  You are right. But this is how you get yourself isolated.
  - cassianoleal 6y ago
    That's the reason why I put off quitting Facebook for years. I have done that a few years ago though, and neither I'm isolated nor I feel like I've lost anything meaningful. I'm still in touch with my dear friends and family, and that will continue without WhatsApp.
    - spidersouris 6y ago
      Some people just don't have the choice. My university class group depends on Messenger, several family members and friends do too. It may be easier to incite individual people to change messaging services, but when it comes to groups or common social connections, it becomes quite difficult. I can't ask everyone in a group to stop using Messenger just because I don't want to, and neither can I ask my family to contact me solely on Telegram or Signal if other family members refuse to switch. Having everything at the same place is so convenient for most people that it's nearly impossible to provoke this kind of change.
      - crazydoggers 6y ago
        You always have a choice. Belief that you don’t is the falsehood. If someone needs to communicate with you or you need with them, there are many ways. The world functioned fine before Messenger. Pick up a phone, or for that matter talk to people in person. It’s not rocket science.

boogies 6y ago

To me it seems to be being somewhat intolerant. Which is a powerful way for minorities to effect change. https://medium.com/incerto/the-most-intolerant-wins-the-dictatorship-of-the-small-minority-3f1f83ce4e15#.z5ry4bucq https://medium.com/incerto/the-most-intolerant-wins-the-dict...

lotsofpulp 6y ago
The crucial part of that whole post is this caveat: >Second, the cost structure matters quite a bit. It happens in our first example that making lemonade compliant with Kosher laws doesn’t change the price by much, not enough to justify inventories. Might makes right. Being intolerant AND either needing little economic/physical power, or bringing with you significant economic/physical power is what effects change. Which is the problem with convincing people to switch apps. Either you are important enough to the person that needs to switch apps, or switching the app is so low cost that the person that needs to switch doesn't care. Unfortunately, the switching costs is usually too high for most people's tastes.
- boogies 6y ago
  > Either you are important enough to the person that needs to switch apps, or switching the app is so low cost that the person that needs to switch doesn't care. Unfortunately, the switching costs is usually too high for most people's tastes. Or a mixture. In the case of eg. Matrix or IRC, the cost can be tapping a link and typing a couple things into the browser. That’s probably not low enough for most people to do for everyone they’re in any group chat with, but I think it’s reasonable to do for a family member (my immediate and extended family were willing to do that with Jitsi Meet for me), and most people have a few family members, including enough techy people to make a difference and plant seeds for some change.

Abishek_Muthian 6y ago

Hence I included 'Politely', I should have also included I've been doing this for ~ 2 years. My primary mode of communication is email, 100% for professional communication. Yes, there are people who are offended when I impose such communication criteria and I've lost business opportunities. But thoughtful communications due to non-real-time nature of email has qualitatively increased and not having to touch the phone often has resulted in better physical and mental health(the whole reason for me making these major changes in first place)[1]. [1]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25619584 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25619584 (Related comment on another thread with more details and a good counter opinion).

crazydoggers 6y ago

How is it arrogant to dictate personal boundaries? If your not comfortable using a messaging app, you don’t have to use it. Why are you suggesting that everyone needs to bow to peer pressure or they’re arrogant? If I suddenly decide one day I don’t want to drink alcohol but all my friends do, if they see me as arrogant because of that, that’s their problem, not mine. I’m under no obligation to slowly stop drinking because of them.

amelius 6y ago
You are right. But this is how you get yourself isolated.
- cassianoleal 6y ago
  That's the reason why I put off quitting Facebook for years. I have done that a few years ago though, and neither I'm isolated nor I feel like I've lost anything meaningful. I'm still in touch with my dear friends and family, and that will continue without WhatsApp.
  - spidersouris 6y ago
    Some people just don't have the choice. My university class group depends on Messenger, several family members and friends do too. It may be easier to incite individual people to change messaging services, but when it comes to groups or common social connections, it becomes quite difficult. I can't ask everyone in a group to stop using Messenger just because I don't want to, and neither can I ask my family to contact me solely on Telegram or Signal if other family members refuse to switch. Having everything at the same place is so convenient for most people that it's nearly impossible to provoke this kind of change.
    - crazydoggers 6y ago
      You always have a choice. Belief that you don’t is the falsehood. If someone needs to communicate with you or you need with them, there are many ways. The world functioned fine before Messenger. Pick up a phone, or for that matter talk to people in person. It’s not rocket science.