7 ms·

Myself and most of my millennial peers feel this way exactly. Some are still hopeful that they'll own a home & raise a large family like their parents and gran

by rychco 6y ago

Myself and most of my millennial peers feel this way exactly. Some are still hopeful that they'll own a home & raise a large family like their parents and grandparents did, but the rest of us aren't so sure.

UseStrict 6y ago
Millennial peer, I feel like it's been a treadmill, forever running but no progress. Living in first in Ottawa then Toronto, I watched affordability of housing slip from attainable in 3-5 years after graduating to virtually impossible without being extremely house poor. That's excluding the crazy high cost of living in general, and the feeling like employers are working to crush an ever-increasing amount of time out of employees. Why bring a kid into this prison? So they can work harder and fall even further behind than I am?
- giantg2 6y ago
  I do wonder if it was a mistake to have a kid. They do bring some joy, and especially a lot of joy to the grandparents. But what kind of life will they have in this world?
- titanomachy 6y ago
  Toronto is a grind. The work culture is punishing and affordability sucks. Not all cities are like that. Montreal and Vancouver are both better in some ways. Vancouver is still wildly unaffordable (especially if buying a house is important to you) but the lifestyle is much nicer and more conducive to mental health than Toronto's.
giantg2 6y ago
I have a house and one kid. My wife wants another kid and complains that out house is too small (it's 1800 sqft). I hate my job but have no other options to support us. I honestly wonder how I did not listen to all the advice of other people about not getting married. Even at this same job I was much happier years ago. Part of that was because I hadn't been disillusioned yet, but I think part of it was also that I had the option of just quitting and taking a lower paying job or moving. Now I'm not allowed to try either of those options.
- mancerayder 6y ago
  Is it allowed to tell wives who push husbands like that to get jobs themselves? Is it really believed that housework is as hard and stressful as a tech job? I feel like we're not really supposed to voice that aloud, but how else is that to be challenged?
  - giantg2 6y ago
    My wife works about 25-30 hours per week. However, she spends most of that on her hobby (more than I spend on the mortgage). She doesn't contribute to any bills other than her gas and tires. I pay all the bills, benefits, utilities. I do all the shopping, cooking, baking, mechanic work, handyman work, projects, legal research (a case she got us involved in because she won't listen to me), medical research (our son has an issue), etc. Of course I watch the kid pretty much as soon as I get off of work most days and on the weekend. She won't let us move to a cheaper area or for me to pursue a different job. For example, there's a position at Google in Pittsburgh that I would have liked to interview for. I'm guessing I wouldn't get it, but I'd like to try. But my feelings and opinions aren't worth anything.
    - yters 6y ago
      Very tough situation. I suppose it is difficult to discuss the imbalance.
      - giantg2 6y ago
        I've brought it up. She doesn't care. She tells me unrealistic things too. For example, she says that I should pursue my expensive hobbies too, like track nights with the 1LE Camaro (which I felt I had to sell when getting married). Where would that money come from?! Should I just not pay the mortgage, or stop saving for retirement? She has also said if I don't like my job that I should quit. I've explained that it would be a significant pay cut since I have experience in non-marketable tech (FileNet and Neoxam). Again, where will that difference come from? I've suggested she pay portion of the bills, but she won't. If she makes 30% of our income, then why can't she pay 20% of our shared bills (mortgage and utilities). I even explained it that way, but she won't do it. Not even a counter offer.

by rychco 6y ago

UseStrict 6y ago

Millennial peer, I feel like it's been a treadmill, forever running but no progress. Living in first in Ottawa then Toronto, I watched affordability of housing slip from attainable in 3-5 years after graduating to virtually impossible without being extremely house poor. That's excluding the crazy high cost of living in general, and the feeling like employers are working to crush an ever-increasing amount of time out of employees. Why bring a kid into this prison? So they can work harder and fall even further behind than I am?

giantg2 6y ago
I do wonder if it was a mistake to have a kid. They do bring some joy, and especially a lot of joy to the grandparents. But what kind of life will they have in this world?
titanomachy 6y ago
Toronto is a grind. The work culture is punishing and affordability sucks. Not all cities are like that. Montreal and Vancouver are both better in some ways. Vancouver is still wildly unaffordable (especially if buying a house is important to you) but the lifestyle is much nicer and more conducive to mental health than Toronto's.

giantg2 6y ago

I have a house and one kid. My wife wants another kid and complains that out house is too small (it's 1800 sqft). I hate my job but have no other options to support us. I honestly wonder how I did not listen to all the advice of other people about not getting married. Even at this same job I was much happier years ago. Part of that was because I hadn't been disillusioned yet, but I think part of it was also that I had the option of just quitting and taking a lower paying job or moving. Now I'm not allowed to try either of those options.

mancerayder 6y ago
Is it allowed to tell wives who push husbands like that to get jobs themselves? Is it really believed that housework is as hard and stressful as a tech job? I feel like we're not really supposed to voice that aloud, but how else is that to be challenged?
- giantg2 6y ago
  My wife works about 25-30 hours per week. However, she spends most of that on her hobby (more than I spend on the mortgage). She doesn't contribute to any bills other than her gas and tires. I pay all the bills, benefits, utilities. I do all the shopping, cooking, baking, mechanic work, handyman work, projects, legal research (a case she got us involved in because she won't listen to me), medical research (our son has an issue), etc. Of course I watch the kid pretty much as soon as I get off of work most days and on the weekend. She won't let us move to a cheaper area or for me to pursue a different job. For example, there's a position at Google in Pittsburgh that I would have liked to interview for. I'm guessing I wouldn't get it, but I'd like to try. But my feelings and opinions aren't worth anything.
  - yters 6y ago
    Very tough situation. I suppose it is difficult to discuss the imbalance.
    - giantg2 6y ago
      I've brought it up. She doesn't care. She tells me unrealistic things too. For example, she says that I should pursue my expensive hobbies too, like track nights with the 1LE Camaro (which I felt I had to sell when getting married). Where would that money come from?! Should I just not pay the mortgage, or stop saving for retirement? She has also said if I don't like my job that I should quit. I've explained that it would be a significant pay cut since I have experience in non-marketable tech (FileNet and Neoxam). Again, where will that difference come from? I've suggested she pay portion of the bills, but she won't. If she makes 30% of our income, then why can't she pay 20% of our shared bills (mortgage and utilities). I even explained it that way, but she won't do it. Not even a counter offer.