4 ms·

Maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but as someone who considers themselves mostly introverted, it took me a good month or two to realize how much I mis

by ketzo 6y ago

Maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but as someone who considers themselves mostly introverted, it took me a good month or two to realize how much I miss meeting strangers. It might have to do with where I was raised, or maybe I'm just more extroverted than I think, but these days the two things I really miss most are 1) regularly seeing friends who aren't my absolute closest circle and 2) small, casual interactions with total strangers (but that are slightly more than "that'll be $7.62"). The second has recently started to weigh on me more; maybe that's why I write a lot on HN/reddit :D

leetcrew 6y ago
I think it's a psychological effect of having / not having options. in normal times, I prefer to spend most of my evenings playing games, making music, etc. alone in my apartment. I knew that if I felt unusually social, I could go out and eat dinner at the bar and talk to some strangers. before quarantine, I would do that a couple times a month and it mostly satisfied my desire to talk to new people. it was never a major part of my life, but I miss it a lot now that it's not available.
- techsupporter 6y ago
  > I think it's a psychological effect of having / not having options. Exactly. This, for me, is a perfect summary. I am perfectly fine with working from home but the mental toll of having virtually nowhere to go outside of my four walls is starting to wear on me. It makes me upset and frustrated and I start projecting those emotions onto the actions of others and it becomes a downward cycle. I'm not particularly social. In fact, I'm almost anti-social (I do not like the interactions like "how are you doing?" in the shops / "hello there!" while walking in a park / "how's your day going?" entering a takeaway place, and I will absolutely never strike up a conversation at the bus stop or on a train), but this is starting to feel suffocating. Yet I'm still going to avoid unnecessary trips and minimize contact because until we have some effective shots to go around, that's how I avoid the consequences of this stupid virus.
  - ketzo 6y ago
    Yeah. We gotta do what we gotta do, even if it sucks. That’s one small consolation — despite all the anti-maskers and so on, I know that you, and lots of people everywhere, are working really hard to protect others from the virus. Makes it a little easier to do my part.
- phobosanomaly 6y ago
  One of my favorite things when working from home pre-pandemic used to be to go to a quiet bar with only a couple other patrons and sip a beer while working, or to go to the public library and work quietly in the group study room. Even without being 'social' it was my way of being social. Now, even though I wake up without an alarm, eat clean, and exercise every day my productivity has tanked. There's some deep, human alarm buried somewhere in the reptile part of my brain that is saying 'things are not right...you are not ok...things are not right,' and it's been doing it since March. I can't seem to find a breaker to switch it off. There's only so many times you can walk around the block.
hn_throwaway_99 6y ago
Thanks for posting this, good to know there are kindred spirits! I definitely consider myself an introvert, but I also realized I would normally do a ton of stuff during the day where I was just generally "around" people - I liked walking around our downtown, or eating out (even if I was alone), or working from a coffee shop in preference to working from home. I really feel like I'm having a weird feeling of disassociation from the world, and I don't like it.
dustinmoris 6y ago
Strangely I have found myself to talk more to strangers and having a good laugh and chats with random people since the pandemic has unfolded. I think the reason is because where I live (London) there has been less people on the street, in shops, bars and so on, so the people who do go out are more likely to chat with others like myself. It’s kind of funny, people who are just out and about and getting in with their normal life have no real fear of the virus or most of them (like myself) already had it and therefore have little reason to follow any guidelines. It’s like a self selection process of all people who have a rather similar view on the pandemic which are mostly economically active and meet nowadays at public places. I kind of enjoy it if there wasn’t the bitter aftertaste of seeing lots of livelihoods being crushed and many shops and restaurants at the brink of collapse.
- jedberg 6y ago
  > or most of them (like myself) already had it and therefore have little reason to follow any guidelines. FYI, just because you've already had it doesn't mean you can't be an asymptomatic carrier. In fact, you're more likely to be one, since you're less likely to have symptoms again. Also, some people have had it twice.
  - dustinmoris 6y ago
    > FYI, just because you've already had it doesn't mean you can't be an asymptomatic carrier. That statement defies all science and logic. Either I have immunity, which means the virus can’t survive in my body which means I can’t be a carrier OR I don’t have immunity at which point it’s just as likely to get symptoms as it was the first time. > Also, some people have had it twice. There is no actual data to suggest that, only a few self reported cases which scientists have said were far from clear. It’s still regarded as very unlikely and in fact all regions in the world which had a very severe outbreak in March and April haven’t had a second wave at all yet whilst the rest of such countries are currently in the middle of a steep second spike again.
    - kilbuz 6y ago
      Immunity is often a spectrum. Nothing is black and white in biology.
haswell 6y ago
I am, without question, an introvert. But I also miss some of the things you describe in your comment. If you very generically categorize introversion/extroversion as (I realize this is an oversimplification and doesn't take all factors into account): - Interacting with people consumes energy - Interacting with people is fuel Missing that interaction as an introvert doesn't seem to make sense at first. But for myself, I've realized that it's a bit more nuanced than that. It's not so much that all interaction saps energy. Certain types of interaction does. Put me in a conference room all day with a group of colleagues to plan the next release, and I'll be utterly exhausted by the end. Put me in a crowded street festival, and I'll feel energized and alive. Make me talk with people at the crowded street festival, and I'll be exhausted by the end. All of this to say, not all interactions are created equal, and I think it's fair to say that even introverts like/need to be around people, but the kinds of interactions an introvert is asked to participate in will mean the difference between energy/exhaustion.
ulisesrmzroche 6y ago
I think like you too but once they open up bars and coffee shops it’s gonna be different. Work from home may be more bearable then

by ketzo 6y ago

leetcrew 6y ago

I think it's a psychological effect of having / not having options. in normal times, I prefer to spend most of my evenings playing games, making music, etc. alone in my apartment. I knew that if I felt unusually social, I could go out and eat dinner at the bar and talk to some strangers. before quarantine, I would do that a couple times a month and it mostly satisfied my desire to talk to new people. it was never a major part of my life, but I miss it a lot now that it's not available.

techsupporter 6y ago
> I think it's a psychological effect of having / not having options. Exactly. This, for me, is a perfect summary. I am perfectly fine with working from home but the mental toll of having virtually nowhere to go outside of my four walls is starting to wear on me. It makes me upset and frustrated and I start projecting those emotions onto the actions of others and it becomes a downward cycle. I'm not particularly social. In fact, I'm almost anti-social (I do not like the interactions like "how are you doing?" in the shops / "hello there!" while walking in a park / "how's your day going?" entering a takeaway place, and I will absolutely never strike up a conversation at the bus stop or on a train), but this is starting to feel suffocating. Yet I'm still going to avoid unnecessary trips and minimize contact because until we have some effective shots to go around, that's how I avoid the consequences of this stupid virus.
- ketzo 6y ago
  Yeah. We gotta do what we gotta do, even if it sucks. That’s one small consolation — despite all the anti-maskers and so on, I know that you, and lots of people everywhere, are working really hard to protect others from the virus. Makes it a little easier to do my part.
phobosanomaly 6y ago
One of my favorite things when working from home pre-pandemic used to be to go to a quiet bar with only a couple other patrons and sip a beer while working, or to go to the public library and work quietly in the group study room. Even without being 'social' it was my way of being social. Now, even though I wake up without an alarm, eat clean, and exercise every day my productivity has tanked. There's some deep, human alarm buried somewhere in the reptile part of my brain that is saying 'things are not right...you are not ok...things are not right,' and it's been doing it since March. I can't seem to find a breaker to switch it off. There's only so many times you can walk around the block.

hn_throwaway_99 6y ago

Thanks for posting this, good to know there are kindred spirits! I definitely consider myself an introvert, but I also realized I would normally do a ton of stuff during the day where I was just generally "around" people - I liked walking around our downtown, or eating out (even if I was alone), or working from a coffee shop in preference to working from home. I really feel like I'm having a weird feeling of disassociation from the world, and I don't like it.

dustinmoris 6y ago

Strangely I have found myself to talk more to strangers and having a good laugh and chats with random people since the pandemic has unfolded. I think the reason is because where I live (London) there has been less people on the street, in shops, bars and so on, so the people who do go out are more likely to chat with others like myself. It’s kind of funny, people who are just out and about and getting in with their normal life have no real fear of the virus or most of them (like myself) already had it and therefore have little reason to follow any guidelines. It’s like a self selection process of all people who have a rather similar view on the pandemic which are mostly economically active and meet nowadays at public places. I kind of enjoy it if there wasn’t the bitter aftertaste of seeing lots of livelihoods being crushed and many shops and restaurants at the brink of collapse.

jedberg 6y ago
> or most of them (like myself) already had it and therefore have little reason to follow any guidelines. FYI, just because you've already had it doesn't mean you can't be an asymptomatic carrier. In fact, you're more likely to be one, since you're less likely to have symptoms again. Also, some people have had it twice.
- dustinmoris 6y ago
  > FYI, just because you've already had it doesn't mean you can't be an asymptomatic carrier. That statement defies all science and logic. Either I have immunity, which means the virus can’t survive in my body which means I can’t be a carrier OR I don’t have immunity at which point it’s just as likely to get symptoms as it was the first time. > Also, some people have had it twice. There is no actual data to suggest that, only a few self reported cases which scientists have said were far from clear. It’s still regarded as very unlikely and in fact all regions in the world which had a very severe outbreak in March and April haven’t had a second wave at all yet whilst the rest of such countries are currently in the middle of a steep second spike again.
  - kilbuz 6y ago
    Immunity is often a spectrum. Nothing is black and white in biology.

haswell 6y ago

I am, without question, an introvert. But I also miss some of the things you describe in your comment. If you very generically categorize introversion/extroversion as (I realize this is an oversimplification and doesn't take all factors into account): - Interacting with people consumes energy - Interacting with people is fuel Missing that interaction as an introvert doesn't seem to make sense at first. But for myself, I've realized that it's a bit more nuanced than that. It's not so much that all interaction saps energy. Certain types of interaction does. Put me in a conference room all day with a group of colleagues to plan the next release, and I'll be utterly exhausted by the end. Put me in a crowded street festival, and I'll feel energized and alive. Make me talk with people at the crowded street festival, and I'll be exhausted by the end. All of this to say, not all interactions are created equal, and I think it's fair to say that even introverts like/need to be around people, but the kinds of interactions an introvert is asked to participate in will mean the difference between energy/exhaustion.

ulisesrmzroche 6y ago

I think like you too but once they open up bars and coffee shops it’s gonna be different. Work from home may be more bearable then