6 ms·

I literally just got diagnosed with adult ADD a month ago. I'm 46! It... explains a lot of things, both for better and for worse. I never even realized I was

I literally just got diagnosed with adult ADD a month ago. I'm 46! It... explains a lot of things, both for better and for worse. I never even realized I was developing coping skills vs. just developing normal skills, if that makes sense. I definitely have had the same types of problems as you describe. I've been on Ritalin for a few weeks now, and the difference is remarkable. If this is how normal people feel most of the time, I don't know... I am both relieved to have a name for what was causing me problems, and also feel the need to grieve lost opportunities in life. It's a complex mix of emotions.

summitsummit 6y ago
> I never even realized I was developing coping skills vs. just developing normal skills do you have some examples? i suspect the majority of mine are the former
- Baeocystin 6y ago
  Sure. I'm happy to share individually, but I don't really want to post them on a public board. My email's in my profile if you want.
  - purplecats 6y ago
    how do i see it in your profile?
    - Baeocystin 6y ago
      It, uh, helps that I make sure it's visible to others first. Sorry about that. Please check my profile again.
stormbrew 6y ago
I'm a little bit younger, and pretty much the same on all of this (except vyvanse for me). I really wish I'd figured it out in my teens or twenties. Also, every time a post on here comes up about elaborate methods of achieving focus the comments are full of people typical-minding what really might actually be ADHD (the whole "everyone is like this right?" thing) and I'm just sitting there like.. maybe you should look into this it probably shouldn't be that hard. Of course if you post that you get a bunch of replies from people who insist that, "no, actually, it's cell phones' fault" or that it's totally normal to absolutely loathe doing any mundane task.
- dylan604 6y ago
  >mundane task That's why we invented shell scripts and cron! On a serious note, what type of tasks would you consider mundane that you attribute to your ADHD to cause you to not want to do them that any non-ADHD person would also not have procrastination problems? Are these specific to work like filling out time sheets or other TPS reports? Home tasks like laundry/dishes/trash? All of the above? As a non-ADHD person, I hate all of the above tasks and only do them because it's part of adulting. Can't get paid without time sheets (this is my biggest hate). I'd rather do laundry (folding/ironing) than fill out time sheets. I have no rational explanation as it is a rather simple thing.
  - throwawaytommy 6y ago
    I'll try explaining this one and maybe why you're being downvoted. The difference is that buckling down and focusing... Don't always work for me. That's the fundamental difference that normal people don't get. That rather simple thing is basically the problem. I'm pretty good at "adulting" and otherwise coping with my life but I hit roadblocks that other people sail by. I can do very complicated, difficult and tedious tasks but sometimes get stuck doing simple things like paying a parking ticket. I know how to do it. I know when it's due. I know I'll pay a penalty if I pay it late. I think about it all the time. But doing it is like lifting an incredibly heavy weight. Normal people don't feel the weight and think I'm lazy.
  - stormbrew 6y ago
    Sibling's explanation is pretty good really. I would also have trouble doing timesheets (have thankfully never had a job that required them) but not because of adhd, just because they seem pointless and like they bring no value to my life at all. Standard adulting things are only an issue in so far as they are often out of sight out of mind, and that's a common struggle for people with ADHD (drawers are our enemy). Mundane is probably not exactly the right word tbh, but it's hard to find the right word. I think it would be more accurate to describe it as things with a lot of upfront planning involved. If I can basically react my way through something to completion I can get into hyperfocus and just blaze through it. A lot of the time the way I've gotten around this is to force it to be an emergency so I can't think about it too much. Either by leaving it to the last second or just convincing myself. And that's a really common pattern you see in people before they get ADHD diagnoses.
medion 6y ago
I am nearly 40 and I have wondered for a long time whether I have adult ADD but have been afraid to go down the diagnostic path, because I'm scared I will lose one of the few true talents I have, which is hyperfocus (or the complete opposite, depending) - that said I think this quality is ruining relationships, so while I can hyperfocus on work or projects, my personal life is a mess. But, I don't know if this is ADD, some kind of anxiety, borderline depression, whether it's something else or whether it's just me. I didn't mean to reply and talk about myself, I actually wanted to ask (if you wanted to share), about what led you to the diagnosis at that age - what kinds of things were not working for you? What were you developing coping skills for?
- treeman79 6y ago
  Didn’t lose hyper focus. More that I gained “longer” focus.
  - purpleplanet 6y ago
    THIS!!! it just helps keep me "on a roll" instead of spacing out
- Baeocystin 6y ago
  I don't want to get in to too much detail on a public board, but the short of it is that several major events in rapid succession (unexpected death of my father, lawsuits involving his estate, Covid just as I was re-growing my IT business, loss of several major clients/income security due to same, a sudden chronic health problem, etc, etc, etc, etc.) overwhelmed my ability to get things done in a timely manner. I sought help, and something in the way I was talking must have piqued my psychiatrist's attention, I got tested, and here we are. It was a lot of shit, all at once, and it would be easy to shrug and say it would have been hard for anyone. But it was enough of a shock to my abilities that I was able to finally see that I just wasn't firing on all cylinders, even though I am otherwise intelligent and capable. I have not lost my ability to focus. In fact, it's easier than ever. I've always been very distractible (another common symptom), and suddenly the kids making noise while playing next door, dogs barking, phones ringing no longer wreck the house of cards I'm holding in my mind while working on a problem. It's remarkable.
AuryGlenz 6y ago
I had a bad concussion when I was 12 that ended up tanking my testosterone levels (and god knows what else). I was extremely tired all the time. I didn’t get it properly diagnosed for nearly 15 years, and in that time I turned down going to Ivy League schools and a bunch of other opportunities. I have to admit going on HN can be a bit of a bummer as I always thought I was destined for the lives a lot of people have here (Silicon Valley, startups, etc). I still got a degree in computer science but with that path I was put on... I’m now a photographer and still live in the same area I grew up in. I realize you have more years “wasted” but I’ve had quite a bit of time to come to terms with all of that. I think it’s important to keep in mind we all have advantages and disadvantages in life, and chances are if you’re on here you’ve still had a pretty charmed life. You’re intelligent, in a developed country, etc. Most people don’t have that.
- Baeocystin 6y ago
  All good points, and worth keeping in mind. I didn't live in the 'states until I was a teen, so I know how lucky I am to be here, too. It's also OK to feel grief over loss at the same time. Like I said, it's a relatively new diagnosis for me, so it's going to take me a while to process things. Overall, I am grateful, though, and that is important to emphasize.
- to11mtm 6y ago
  > I had a bad concussion when I was 12 that ended up tanking my testosterone levels (and god knows what else). Interesting you mention that. I had a Bicycle->Car accident when I was 8 and I've always been told that's when a number of my behaviors started to change (and I became the black sheep of the family I am now.) I didn't get diagonsed with ADD until I was almost 30, but oddly enough my current care doctor also specializes in head trauma.
  - AuryGlenz 6y ago
    Brain trauma is scary stuff. Back when it happened to me (the year 2000) the doctors weren’t at all concerned with the concussion. I broke my arm pretty severely and my back also hurt, and that’s all they cared about. I’m guessing that’d be different now, though I don’t know what extra care they could give. At the very least I think my parents would have thought to tie my sudden energy and worse grades to what happened.

summitsummit 6y ago

> I never even realized I was developing coping skills vs. just developing normal skills do you have some examples? i suspect the majority of mine are the former

Baeocystin 6y ago
Sure. I'm happy to share individually, but I don't really want to post them on a public board. My email's in my profile if you want.
- purplecats 6y ago
  how do i see it in your profile?
  - Baeocystin 6y ago
    It, uh, helps that I make sure it's visible to others first. Sorry about that. Please check my profile again.

stormbrew 6y ago

I'm a little bit younger, and pretty much the same on all of this (except vyvanse for me). I really wish I'd figured it out in my teens or twenties. Also, every time a post on here comes up about elaborate methods of achieving focus the comments are full of people typical-minding what really might actually be ADHD (the whole "everyone is like this right?" thing) and I'm just sitting there like.. maybe you should look into this it probably shouldn't be that hard. Of course if you post that you get a bunch of replies from people who insist that, "no, actually, it's cell phones' fault" or that it's totally normal to absolutely loathe doing any mundane task.

dylan604 6y ago
>mundane task That's why we invented shell scripts and cron! On a serious note, what type of tasks would you consider mundane that you attribute to your ADHD to cause you to not want to do them that any non-ADHD person would also not have procrastination problems? Are these specific to work like filling out time sheets or other TPS reports? Home tasks like laundry/dishes/trash? All of the above? As a non-ADHD person, I hate all of the above tasks and only do them because it's part of adulting. Can't get paid without time sheets (this is my biggest hate). I'd rather do laundry (folding/ironing) than fill out time sheets. I have no rational explanation as it is a rather simple thing.
- throwawaytommy 6y ago
  I'll try explaining this one and maybe why you're being downvoted. The difference is that buckling down and focusing... Don't always work for me. That's the fundamental difference that normal people don't get. That rather simple thing is basically the problem. I'm pretty good at "adulting" and otherwise coping with my life but I hit roadblocks that other people sail by. I can do very complicated, difficult and tedious tasks but sometimes get stuck doing simple things like paying a parking ticket. I know how to do it. I know when it's due. I know I'll pay a penalty if I pay it late. I think about it all the time. But doing it is like lifting an incredibly heavy weight. Normal people don't feel the weight and think I'm lazy.
- stormbrew 6y ago
  Sibling's explanation is pretty good really. I would also have trouble doing timesheets (have thankfully never had a job that required them) but not because of adhd, just because they seem pointless and like they bring no value to my life at all. Standard adulting things are only an issue in so far as they are often out of sight out of mind, and that's a common struggle for people with ADHD (drawers are our enemy). Mundane is probably not exactly the right word tbh, but it's hard to find the right word. I think it would be more accurate to describe it as things with a lot of upfront planning involved. If I can basically react my way through something to completion I can get into hyperfocus and just blaze through it. A lot of the time the way I've gotten around this is to force it to be an emergency so I can't think about it too much. Either by leaving it to the last second or just convincing myself. And that's a really common pattern you see in people before they get ADHD diagnoses.

medion 6y ago

I am nearly 40 and I have wondered for a long time whether I have adult ADD but have been afraid to go down the diagnostic path, because I'm scared I will lose one of the few true talents I have, which is hyperfocus (or the complete opposite, depending) - that said I think this quality is ruining relationships, so while I can hyperfocus on work or projects, my personal life is a mess. But, I don't know if this is ADD, some kind of anxiety, borderline depression, whether it's something else or whether it's just me. I didn't mean to reply and talk about myself, I actually wanted to ask (if you wanted to share), about what led you to the diagnosis at that age - what kinds of things were not working for you? What were you developing coping skills for?

treeman79 6y ago
Didn’t lose hyper focus. More that I gained “longer” focus.
- purpleplanet 6y ago
  THIS!!! it just helps keep me "on a roll" instead of spacing out
Baeocystin 6y ago
I don't want to get in to too much detail on a public board, but the short of it is that several major events in rapid succession (unexpected death of my father, lawsuits involving his estate, Covid just as I was re-growing my IT business, loss of several major clients/income security due to same, a sudden chronic health problem, etc, etc, etc, etc.) overwhelmed my ability to get things done in a timely manner. I sought help, and something in the way I was talking must have piqued my psychiatrist's attention, I got tested, and here we are. It was a lot of shit, all at once, and it would be easy to shrug and say it would have been hard for anyone. But it was enough of a shock to my abilities that I was able to finally see that I just wasn't firing on all cylinders, even though I am otherwise intelligent and capable. I have not lost my ability to focus. In fact, it's easier than ever. I've always been very distractible (another common symptom), and suddenly the kids making noise while playing next door, dogs barking, phones ringing no longer wreck the house of cards I'm holding in my mind while working on a problem. It's remarkable.

AuryGlenz 6y ago

I had a bad concussion when I was 12 that ended up tanking my testosterone levels (and god knows what else). I was extremely tired all the time. I didn’t get it properly diagnosed for nearly 15 years, and in that time I turned down going to Ivy League schools and a bunch of other opportunities. I have to admit going on HN can be a bit of a bummer as I always thought I was destined for the lives a lot of people have here (Silicon Valley, startups, etc). I still got a degree in computer science but with that path I was put on... I’m now a photographer and still live in the same area I grew up in. I realize you have more years “wasted” but I’ve had quite a bit of time to come to terms with all of that. I think it’s important to keep in mind we all have advantages and disadvantages in life, and chances are if you’re on here you’ve still had a pretty charmed life. You’re intelligent, in a developed country, etc. Most people don’t have that.

Baeocystin 6y ago
All good points, and worth keeping in mind. I didn't live in the 'states until I was a teen, so I know how lucky I am to be here, too. It's also OK to feel grief over loss at the same time. Like I said, it's a relatively new diagnosis for me, so it's going to take me a while to process things. Overall, I am grateful, though, and that is important to emphasize.
to11mtm 6y ago
> I had a bad concussion when I was 12 that ended up tanking my testosterone levels (and god knows what else). Interesting you mention that. I had a Bicycle->Car accident when I was 8 and I've always been told that's when a number of my behaviors started to change (and I became the black sheep of the family I am now.) I didn't get diagonsed with ADD until I was almost 30, but oddly enough my current care doctor also specializes in head trauma.
- AuryGlenz 6y ago
  Brain trauma is scary stuff. Back when it happened to me (the year 2000) the doctors weren’t at all concerned with the concussion. I broke my arm pretty severely and my back also hurt, and that’s all they cared about. I’m guessing that’d be different now, though I don’t know what extra care they could give. At the very least I think my parents would have thought to tie my sudden energy and worse grades to what happened.