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3 - I'd agree that it is not really a skill so much as an effect with many possible actionable causes, some of which can be trained. I think you and OP are actu
by adverbly 6y ago
3 - I'd agree that it is not really a skill so much as an effect with many possible actionable causes, some of which can be trained. I think you and OP are actually coming at this from a similar angle if you indeed don't really care about winning. OP's point is that many people get sucked into doing things for reasons other than their impact on their long term happiness. Competitiveness, addiction, lack of experimentation can all lead to inefficient return on effort. There are likely many skills that can improve on these, but introspection towards your feelings/emotions to understand how your emotions respond to externalities is probably a cornerstone of many of them.
- biren34 6y agoThat’s a fair response. The reason I’d call this a skill is because you could screw it up on purpose—-it’s not random. To achieve this outcome you need to know of your values, be aware of your current emotional state (and the outside factors influencing it), and have the techniques to exert more control over your internal state than the outside factors are seeking to exert. To me, it’s like driving a van in very windy conditions. The skill is to not get blown off the road.
- adverbly 6y ago> To me, it’s like driving a van in very windy conditions. Love that analogy!
- Xplosiveoctopus 6y agoI`ve made a reply to your original post, but I`d like to add to my earlier question. Any books or resources or suggestions on defining values, techniques to exert more control over my internal state? Thanks again.
- biren34 6y agoI've been thinking about how to answer your question, and I realized I just can't do it in this form. One of the things I've learned over the years is that advice must be tailored to the individual to be useful, and I don't know anything about you. Feel free to reach me at biren@birenshah.com.