6 ms·
To me, the most disturbing part of this story came at the very end, where it says that he has just relearned, for the thousandth time, that his children are now
by jawns 6y ago
To me, the most disturbing part of this story came at the very end, where it says that he has just relearned, for the thousandth time, that his children are now in their late teens and early 20s -- whereas his last memory of them was as little kids.
If that were me, and I were just informed that my own little children had essentially disappeared, I would likely go catatonic. I mean, in a sense, even though they're still present as young adults, it's as if your children have died. I don't know how a person could cope with being told that even once, much less a thousand times.
- DoofusOfDeath 6y agoFWIW, I metaphorically went though that myself, by being overly focused on grad school and professional development while they were young. I would give almost anything to undo that mistake. If you don't mind a suggestion, take lots of video and get lots of audio recording of them. Their little-kid voices don't last forever. And once they're past the obnoxious teenage years, you may find you can't even remember their earlier voices. (AFK to dry my eyes and go give my kids a hug.)
- bentcorner 6y ago> If you don't mind a suggestion, take lots of video and get lots of audio recording of them. Totally agree. The firsts are a source of joy and the lasts make me melancholy.
- Aeolun 6y agoThis is probably the best part about ubiquitous smartphones. Making a video is almost always possible. At the same time, I don’t think we should ignore the experience in the moment just to take a video for later.
- fatnoah 6y agoThat is the part that got to me as well. To see your children, but effectively not know the people they've become as they've grown must be devastating.
- mcphage 6y agoThat part was absolutely heartbreaking.
- munificent 6y agoI find raising kids to be this constant low-grade form of grief. They change so fast that I am always noting the passing of the little person they used to be, replaced by the similar but slightly different person they are now. I've grieved the passing of their infancy, toddler years, and now most of their early childhood. Sometimes I ache with the desire to go back and time to visit those past selves, to cradle them as babies or hear their goofy mispronunciations one more time. I cannot fathom the pain of having to experience all of that grieving in fast forward, every day.
- stallmanite 6y agoI have felt this quite strongly but never quite articulated it. Thank you for the clarity.
- munificent 6y agoIt took me a really long time to understand what I was feeling. I could sense this bittersweet thing whenever the kids accomplished something new but didn't know where it came from. Then it clicked for me one day: I miss their younger selves. Every new milestone is the end of a phase that I'll never get to see again.
- svcrunch 6y ago> Sometimes I ache with the desire to go back and time to visit those past selves, to cradle them as babies or hear their goofy mispronunciations one more time. Yes, I understand the feeling. You will get that chance when you have grandchildren!
- munificent 6y agoI never understood why grandparents were so into their grandkids until my kids started getting older. Then it clicked. In many ways, parenting is like a video game where you only get to play each level exactly once before you're dragged to the next one. As soon as you master one stage of your kids' development they've outgrown it and you're back to fumbling your way through unexplored territory again. Having the chance to play "Human: Level 1" again sounds pretty amazing. Not to mention getting to hold and snuggle a baby again. Babies are amazing, especially when you only have to take care of them part-time.
- tshaddox 6y ago> I don't know how a person could cope with being told that even once, much less a thousand times. I suppose the good news is that it's like the first time every time.
- fibbery 6y ago> it's as if your children have died. Or you did.
- dathinab 6y agoAt least he had a family before it happened. Consider it happened to someone currently (and normally temporary) alone. Now you are close to guaranteed to be alone for the rest of your live ...