4 ms·

Based on the attempts of my parents and my in-laws to give my wife and I "valuable stuff", either it's going to goodwill now, or it is sitting unused and unlove

Based on the attempts of my parents and my in-laws to give my wife and I "valuable stuff", either it's going to goodwill now, or it is sitting unused and unloved in a garage. We cannot seem to get it through our parent's heads that we don't want any valuable antiques that will need to be taken care of and the fact that it belonged to great-great-aunt Thelma who none of us have ever met or heard of except in connection to this roll top desk does not give the desk in question sentimental value. Hopefully it goes to someone who will actually appreciate it and enjoy it, but that someone is neither of us.

beamatronic 6y ago
It makes you wonder why they valued this stuff so much in the first place.
- me_me_me 6y ago
  It belonged to great-great-aunt Thelma, what is there more to explain!
- 082349872349872 6y ago
  Aristippus, at least, wasn't into roll top desks: "children ought to be provided with property and resources of a kind that could swim with them even out of a shipwreck." https://www.maa.org/sites/default/files/images/upload_library/46/Swetz_2012_Math_Treasures/Linda-Hall-Lib/799001.png https://www.maa.org/sites/default/files/images/upload_librar...
  - RandomBacon 6y ago
    Cryptocurrency to the rescue! (sarcasm... kind of) I've always loved the idea of being nimble, but I equally love the idea of having a family estate. Hopefully my future children will be diversified with both options.
- kevin_thibedeau 6y ago
  The first wave of beneficiaries of the industrial revolution were able to display status with mass produced "luxury" goods that were barely affordable and needed to be reserved from every day use. These attitudes carried on through their children and grandchildren.
  - tonyedgecombe 6y ago
    It's not even that long ago, when my wife and I bought a house it took a couple of years before we had furnished it. My son filled his flat in a day at Ikea. It's less valuable to people because it is so easily available.
    - throwaway0a5e 6y ago
      And that's a good thing. Compare how the poors lived in 1950-1970 vs today. How many project apartments or leaky rural shacks you think you'd have to combine to get one household worth of (fully functional) furniture and appliances? Cheap furniture, window A/C units that cost about a day's labor. Not that they don't have problems but the cost decreases that have enabled the middle to treat things as disposable has very much enabled the less fortunate to greatly increase their standard of living.
buzzert 6y ago
I never understood the appeal of china or any of these antiques. I think they just look terrible. Glad to see in this thread that it’s not just me, but my entire generation.
- steverb 6y ago
  I'm probably from an older generation than you (GenX), but the wife and I have four kids and we decided a long time ago that we didn't want them to grow up in a museum where they weren't allowed to touch things, play with things, or to have accidents. In the near future when the (presumed) grandkids start coming over we will keep the same standard. We also have the same furniture that we bought 20 years ago as we could afford it. It is all scratched, dented, frayed and worn. It has contributed itself to a lot of living, which is what we think possessions should do. We want to own our things, not the other way around.
  - wink 6y ago
    I think that's a good point. My parents bought reasonable sturdy hardwood furniture (In the early 70s I think) and apart from a few replacements it's still in use, having survived moving twice. I'm glad I was never told to not just "live" there, using it. My own flat is very different, we bought most of the furniture while I was still a student and my wife was starting her first job, so of course there's a lot of IKEA and other not so expensive stuff, but to be honest... even after 10 years now I don't feel the need to replace a lot, my desk doesn't look too good but everything else looks pretty ok or even brand new, so maybe disposable stuff is sturdy enough for a good chunk of people? We haven't moved and I heard IKEA stuff often won't survive a 2nd move, so that might be another thing.
- zeveb 6y ago
  > I never understood the appeal of china or any of these antiques. I think they just look terrible. It depends. Surely some styles are not wonderful, but others are quite beautiful. Some styles are very of their time (and look horrible later), while others are timeless. I like the timeless stuff. Lenox Federal china will never, ever look bad. Chantilly, Fairfax or Strasbourg silverware will always have a place at a table. A good Baccarat or Waterford crystal will always sparkle. Sure, one could go for 2020-trendy, but in 2025 or 2030 it will look old & crusty — but the classic never grow stale.
zeveb 6y ago
As a counterpoint, I really enjoy all the family heirlooms I have inherited; I love that I get to honour those distant, barely-remembered or unremembered family members by enjoying the items I have inherited. I don't look at taking care of those items as a chore any more than I look at taking care of the items I have bought as a chore. And I use them: I eat off of the plates, I sleep in the bed, I use the table, the pictures grace my walls.

beamatronic 6y ago

It makes you wonder why they valued this stuff so much in the first place.

me_me_me 6y ago
It belonged to great-great-aunt Thelma, what is there more to explain!
082349872349872 6y ago
Aristippus, at least, wasn't into roll top desks: "children ought to be provided with property and resources of a kind that could swim with them even out of a shipwreck." https://www.maa.org/sites/default/files/images/upload_library/46/Swetz_2012_Math_Treasures/Linda-Hall-Lib/799001.png https://www.maa.org/sites/default/files/images/upload_librar...
- RandomBacon 6y ago
  Cryptocurrency to the rescue! (sarcasm... kind of) I've always loved the idea of being nimble, but I equally love the idea of having a family estate. Hopefully my future children will be diversified with both options.
kevin_thibedeau 6y ago
The first wave of beneficiaries of the industrial revolution were able to display status with mass produced "luxury" goods that were barely affordable and needed to be reserved from every day use. These attitudes carried on through their children and grandchildren.
- tonyedgecombe 6y ago
  It's not even that long ago, when my wife and I bought a house it took a couple of years before we had furnished it. My son filled his flat in a day at Ikea. It's less valuable to people because it is so easily available.
  - throwaway0a5e 6y ago
    And that's a good thing. Compare how the poors lived in 1950-1970 vs today. How many project apartments or leaky rural shacks you think you'd have to combine to get one household worth of (fully functional) furniture and appliances? Cheap furniture, window A/C units that cost about a day's labor. Not that they don't have problems but the cost decreases that have enabled the middle to treat things as disposable has very much enabled the less fortunate to greatly increase their standard of living.

buzzert 6y ago

I never understood the appeal of china or any of these antiques. I think they just look terrible. Glad to see in this thread that it’s not just me, but my entire generation.

steverb 6y ago
I'm probably from an older generation than you (GenX), but the wife and I have four kids and we decided a long time ago that we didn't want them to grow up in a museum where they weren't allowed to touch things, play with things, or to have accidents. In the near future when the (presumed) grandkids start coming over we will keep the same standard. We also have the same furniture that we bought 20 years ago as we could afford it. It is all scratched, dented, frayed and worn. It has contributed itself to a lot of living, which is what we think possessions should do. We want to own our things, not the other way around.
- wink 6y ago
  I think that's a good point. My parents bought reasonable sturdy hardwood furniture (In the early 70s I think) and apart from a few replacements it's still in use, having survived moving twice. I'm glad I was never told to not just "live" there, using it. My own flat is very different, we bought most of the furniture while I was still a student and my wife was starting her first job, so of course there's a lot of IKEA and other not so expensive stuff, but to be honest... even after 10 years now I don't feel the need to replace a lot, my desk doesn't look too good but everything else looks pretty ok or even brand new, so maybe disposable stuff is sturdy enough for a good chunk of people? We haven't moved and I heard IKEA stuff often won't survive a 2nd move, so that might be another thing.
zeveb 6y ago
> I never understood the appeal of china or any of these antiques. I think they just look terrible. It depends. Surely some styles are not wonderful, but others are quite beautiful. Some styles are very of their time (and look horrible later), while others are timeless. I like the timeless stuff. Lenox Federal china will never, ever look bad. Chantilly, Fairfax or Strasbourg silverware will always have a place at a table. A good Baccarat or Waterford crystal will always sparkle. Sure, one could go for 2020-trendy, but in 2025 or 2030 it will look old & crusty — but the classic never grow stale.

zeveb 6y ago

As a counterpoint, I really enjoy all the family heirlooms I have inherited; I love that I get to honour those distant, barely-remembered or unremembered family members by enjoying the items I have inherited. I don't look at taking care of those items as a chore any more than I look at taking care of the items I have bought as a chore. And I use them: I eat off of the plates, I sleep in the bed, I use the table, the pictures grace my walls.