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> even though a good relationship is more satisfying than any job. Um, citation needed. Also relevant, "Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to

by cbanek 6y ago

> even though a good relationship is more satisfying than any job. Um, citation needed. Also relevant, "Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life." If you love your job, it can bring you happiness and success. Look at jobs like being a doctor where you get to help people. Even though many doctors have plenty of money to retire, they tend to keep working and helping people because many times they just really enjoy it! This also misses out on all the problems of a relationship, like stress, cheating, money, fighting, etc. If relationships are so great, why do so many marriages end in divorce? (isn't that like "quitting" your "job"?) Maybe I'm just a success addict, but if it's something I care about, then I'm going to go for it. And I try to keep what I measure to be how useful I am to others, what I can bring to the table, rather than dollars or title. Of course if you constantly strive for the things you don't really want, you can stress yourself out trying, then stress yourself out failing, or stress yourself out being there. But the same could be said of a relationship with the wrong person. Coming from a broken home, I wish I could explain how easy it is to see people in broken relationships that make them unhappy, but also unable to get off the "relationship treadmill". Pick the right people and the right things!

zwkrt 6y ago
A few points: - rhetoric about loving your job tends to come from a very small minority of people who do not have an absolutely mind-, body-, and soul-crushing job. Rich people like to talk about working at Wendy’s as some sort of “introductory” or “transitional” job, but this is not the case. And on top of the job itself being awful, then you get to go home and worry about the fact that you don’t have any money. There is something to be said for having a sense of Zen at work, since that will make it less miserable, but the strange capitalist utopia where everyone is whistling at work is probably a long way off. - “relationships” are more than just with your spouse. What about your friends, roommates, relatives, children, neighbors, baristas, janitors, etc. I don’t count coworkers because I believe that a work environment tends to inculcate a sense of competition and scarcity among people which is the opposite of what good relationships are made of. It is so important to have at least a few people in your life that would be there for you even if you didn’t have a fancy job or nice things, because one day you might not have those things and then where will you be?
- cbanek 6y ago
  Good points and fair enough! I guess my point was that it's kind of a false dichotomy, in that you can have happiness from work, and sadness from relationships as well. But I think also they are inter-related, in that good relationships can bring about more meaningful work (job opportunities, people you can learn from, etc.) and good work can lead to relationships (people you meet at work, through work, customers, etc.) While you say that coworkers are considered a bit differently, I think that also depends on the type of job. In high pressure jobs, I think you are absolutely correct, but in some of the more "soul-crushing" jobs that you mention, the coworkers are the best part. I think some of the best coworker relationships I had were when I was making pizzas. People / relationships can also move on themselves (moving, death, other changes), so those aren't permanent either.
- TimTheTinker 6y ago
  I’m not rich, but even I view a food service job at a fast food business (besides owning the business) as transitional. In other words, I would have no intention to stay there longer than absolutely necessary. I would forego many comforts to save what I need to make my move and get out. There’s a saying that if you took away all of a rich person’s financial assets (anything owned) they would be rich again within a few years. That may be a bit of a stretch (it might take more like 10 or even 20 years), but the point is, there is a required mindset that it takes to get out of poverty, and that is a firm determination to not accept the status quo. Don’t get me wrong: having that determination doesn’t guarantee anything (plenty of people work hard and don’t break out of it after 20 years because of hard luck or inescapable obligations), but those who do make it out always have that mindset. And those who don’t have that mindset never make it out, even if they win the lottery.
jimbokun 6y ago
It's fascinating to see so many commenters here automatically assuming "relationship" must mean "spouse". It's important to invest in some kind of close relationships, but that doesn't have to mean marriage.
- cbanek 6y ago
  I agree, but the article really seems to imply marriage, spouse, and kids. It specifically says marriage early on, and then talks about "little league games" and "ballet" which are obviously referring to having kids, which is implicit in the article as well.

by cbanek 6y ago

zwkrt 6y ago

A few points: - rhetoric about loving your job tends to come from a very small minority of people who do not have an absolutely mind-, body-, and soul-crushing job. Rich people like to talk about working at Wendy’s as some sort of “introductory” or “transitional” job, but this is not the case. And on top of the job itself being awful, then you get to go home and worry about the fact that you don’t have any money. There is something to be said for having a sense of Zen at work, since that will make it less miserable, but the strange capitalist utopia where everyone is whistling at work is probably a long way off. - “relationships” are more than just with your spouse. What about your friends, roommates, relatives, children, neighbors, baristas, janitors, etc. I don’t count coworkers because I believe that a work environment tends to inculcate a sense of competition and scarcity among people which is the opposite of what good relationships are made of. It is so important to have at least a few people in your life that would be there for you even if you didn’t have a fancy job or nice things, because one day you might not have those things and then where will you be?

cbanek 6y ago
Good points and fair enough! I guess my point was that it's kind of a false dichotomy, in that you can have happiness from work, and sadness from relationships as well. But I think also they are inter-related, in that good relationships can bring about more meaningful work (job opportunities, people you can learn from, etc.) and good work can lead to relationships (people you meet at work, through work, customers, etc.) While you say that coworkers are considered a bit differently, I think that also depends on the type of job. In high pressure jobs, I think you are absolutely correct, but in some of the more "soul-crushing" jobs that you mention, the coworkers are the best part. I think some of the best coworker relationships I had were when I was making pizzas. People / relationships can also move on themselves (moving, death, other changes), so those aren't permanent either.
TimTheTinker 6y ago
I’m not rich, but even I view a food service job at a fast food business (besides owning the business) as transitional. In other words, I would have no intention to stay there longer than absolutely necessary. I would forego many comforts to save what I need to make my move and get out. There’s a saying that if you took away all of a rich person’s financial assets (anything owned) they would be rich again within a few years. That may be a bit of a stretch (it might take more like 10 or even 20 years), but the point is, there is a required mindset that it takes to get out of poverty, and that is a firm determination to not accept the status quo. Don’t get me wrong: having that determination doesn’t guarantee anything (plenty of people work hard and don’t break out of it after 20 years because of hard luck or inescapable obligations), but those who do make it out always have that mindset. And those who don’t have that mindset never make it out, even if they win the lottery.

jimbokun 6y ago

It's fascinating to see so many commenters here automatically assuming "relationship" must mean "spouse". It's important to invest in some kind of close relationships, but that doesn't have to mean marriage.

cbanek 6y ago
I agree, but the article really seems to imply marriage, spouse, and kids. It specifically says marriage early on, and then talks about "little league games" and "ballet" which are obviously referring to having kids, which is implicit in the article as well.