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I'm looking for advice. I have been suffering for the last several years. The root cause of the problem is still there and cannot realistically go away easily
by throwaway_sjfgd 6y ago
I'm looking for advice. I have been suffering for the last several years.
The root cause of the problem is still there and cannot realistically go away easily [1]. I'm consulting with psychologists and was taking medicine (held currently by the lock down). It has not helped to read literature myself [2] as it only says sadness and depression are likely given the circumstances.
Among the good things: I have a good job [3], have several friends who are supportive, am trying hobbies like music. I'm generally exercising also, slowed by lock down.
[1] I've been in an abusive and sexless marriage for over a decade, living separately now. Spouse has filed a false violence case against me, the matter is in the courts and proceeding at its own pace. And there's more.
[2] E.g., Maslow's hierarchy of needs (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs)
[3] My performance is below my standards due to low motivation and negative impact of stress on memory. I am barely able to do anything myself, however, I'm doing great in guiding and mentoring others which is an important part of my role. It has helped to let them know of my personal situation and everybody is supportive.
- whalesalad 6y ago> I've been in an abusive and sexless marriage for over a decade, living separately now This is a substantial thread to pull. Do not discount the impact of this on your life and your wellbeing. My email is in my profile if you would like someone to talk to.
- throwaway_sjfgd 6y agoThanks a lot for the helping hand!
- dagav 6y agoI highly recommend you listen to these lecture series. I cannot overstate the profound effect they had on my life, by giving me the tools I needed to turn my depression around and give me a sense of balance and control in my life. https://youtu.be/f-wWBGo6a2w https://youtu.be/f-wWBGo6a2w https://youtu.be/I8Xc2_FtpHI https://youtu.be/I8Xc2_FtpHI
- throwaway_sjfgd 6y agoThanks. I'll look at these.
- javert 6y agoI had a complicated family situation that made it impossible for me to have any sort of peace of mind. You have to get out of that, first. You said it yourself. You named that as the root cause. If it won't realistically go away easily, you have to make it go away the hard way, whatever that is. If it's just a matter of waiting for court cases to resolve, I think you can already start putting the past behind you and moving forward. But I'm assuming in my answer here that there is more to it.
- throwaway_sjfgd 6y agoThanks for the help and advice even if it's just reconfirming the understanding. There's more to it indeed as you guessed.