6 ms·

American tipping culture ruins it for me - the social anxiety of "do I tip them? how much? what if I don't tip enough? word of mouth is I'm a bad tipper? what i

American tipping culture ruins it for me - the social anxiety of "do I tip them? how much? what if I don't tip enough? word of mouth is I'm a bad tipper? what if my tip insults them?" and any possible repercussions of getting it wrong loom. I am not at all against delivery drivers getting their due, but the whole tipping culture is a pressure I can just avoid if I don't have things delivered which I can go get myself. I envy the countries which lack this automatic tipping culture.

simongray 6y ago
Having to tip delivery people does indeed sound like it would suck. That's a bit like tipping the postman.
- rudiv 6y ago
  In places in India, it is customary to tip the postman whenever you receive something important - particularly, government documents like a passport, driving licence etc. because those are specially tracked and it's easy for the postal worker to recognize the envelope/packaging too.
  - mcpeepants 6y ago
    interesting - is it because of the implication that, since they can easily recognize the package, they could also easily "lose" the package? Are people tipping as a sort of implied form of racketeering, or is it just genuine gratefulness for delivering an important item?
    - jldugger 6y ago
      As I understand it -- primarily from TED Talks -- corruption in India is endemic and somewhat expected. Sure, it's a form of racketeering, in the sense that many government employees have to give their boss a cut, and if they don't, they will be replaced by someone who does. It's typically presented as an "expiditing" fee. And the cause there, as presented by Wikipedia[1] is fascinating to contemplate. The abnormally high tax rate (especially compared to the services provided) increases the demand for corruption to avoid taxation. Taxation avoided reduces money available for bureaucrat salaries, to where they are almost reliant on the bribery system to make ends meet. And hence the pressure on line staff to kick back money up -- a promotion would separate you from direct contact with the public and represent a loss of income that must be replaced somehow. It's kind of a weird Laffer curve phenomenon where higher tax rates yields less revenue. [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India#Factors_contributing_to_corruption_in_India https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India#Factors_co...
    - geodel 6y ago
      > they could also easily "lose" the package? And they often do.
    - samsari 6y ago
      It sounds like it would act as an incentive for important mail to arrive safely and promptly, if the delivery agent benefits personally.
  - pal_9000 6y ago
    I believe it's just an expectation that has been built by previous tippers. When there's a significant positive event like childbirth, obtaining a driving license, e.t.c, naturally people tend to tip. This sets a precedent and they start expecting as a sort of obligation.
  - Gibbon1 6y ago
    A friend of mine described how you need to address a package in India. I say tipping is probably reasonable.
  - pnako 6y ago
    In some places you need to "tip" the police when driving somewhere. We generally call those tips "bribes".
- downerending 6y ago
  I did toss my postman a $20 last week. Figured they could use a little appreciation in these trying times.
ergocoder 6y ago
Not only that. There are many people who shame people who don't tip. Coming from a poorer country, mandatory tipping is such a strange concept. Apart from that, I'm a typical engineer in FAANG, and I feel it's expensive... So I wonder who find delivery app cheap? A millionaire?? Back in my country, I ate out every single meal (even when I was a college student). Delivery app works well too because the price is sensible.
- ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
  I hate that too, I get shamed whenever I don't tip. Sometimes the waiter will ask me why I'm not tipping.
  - cityofdelusion 6y ago
    Not tipping (at least in the U.S.) is viewed as insulting. Tipping culture is usually taught to kids as “tip in proportion to how good your server did.” By offering no tip, you indirectly state to the waiter that they did poorly. Growing up, I was taught to always tip at least 10% so that you don’t end up with spit in your food :)
    - ergocoder 6y ago
      That's one way to make money... Being visibly upset and contaminating food.
    - ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
      Maybe it is, but as long as it's not mandatory I don't see why anybody should feel obliged.
leetcrew 6y ago
there are a lot of good arguments against tipping culture (and some for), but it's really not that hard to figure out how much to tip a delivery driver. in normal times, anything at or above 15% (or $2-3, if it's a small order) is enough not to get remembered as a bad tipper. if you're in an unfamiliar situation, you can always just ask what a typical tip is. service staff at a fancy establishment will probably try to evade the question, but otherwise the person will usually answer honestly. if you really just want to "set it and forget it", there's virtually no situation where someone would hold a 20% tip against you.
- bobbydroptables 6y ago
  >if you really just want to "set it and forget it", there's virtually no situation where someone would hold a 20% tip against you. Great strategy if you have money burning a hole in your pocket and want to subsidize businesses that don't pay a living wage.
- ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
  why would I pay 15% more for everything I pay when I can actually choose to save these 15%? It's with this money spending culture that people in the US end up in the streets when they miss a single paycheck.
  - leetcrew 6y ago
    aside from the fact that it's custom and the prices/wages are already set with the expectation of tips (ie, adjusted down), you are essentially bidding for attention. stiff the delivery person enough times, and you might find that your future orders find their way to the end of the delivery route. if you're this concerned about saving money, you probably shouldn't be ordering food for delivery or dining out in the first place.
    - ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
      I would refrain from giving advice to people on how they want to spend their own money.
DougWebb 6y ago
How about "Hey, this person is out doing a job that could possibly kill them, to save me from having to risk my life by going out. That's really valuable to me; I'll give them an extra $5." I really don't get people who are against tipping people in low-paid service jobs. (Even if they're making at least minimum wage.) If you're paid more than they are, and their service is providing you with value, show them some appreciation!
- pnako 6y ago
  Do you tip the postman? They bring you letters, which can be very valuable.
  - leetcrew 6y ago
    under normal circumstances, you're usually not home when the postman brings your mail. some people give their postman some cash if they happen to run into them, especially if it's around a major holiday. as a random anecdote, I was talking to the ups delivery guy for my building the other day, and he said he's been making more money in tips than from his actual paycheck during the present crisis.
  - humaniania 6y ago
    Every Christmas. The UPS guy too.
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
  - DougWebb 6y ago
    My postman mostly brings me junk mail, that I throw directly into a bin next to my building's mailboxes rather than bring it up to the apartment. That's not his fault, of course. There's no mechanism for me to tip him on any regular basis, unlike the delivery apps that let me add a tip to my credit card payment.
- throwqqq 6y ago
  Because I shouldn't have to bribe people to do their job.
spike021 6y ago
The way I've sort of thought of tips, it's more like "well, they're driving X miles to/from the store to deliver my order, so the tip should maybe cover that, plus a bit more if they're friendly". But in times like this sometimes I'm ordering from a very short distance that takes a minute or two of driving, so they hardly need, say, $3 dollars tip for gas since it probably wasn't even 1/10 a gallon to get the food and deliver it.
ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
I've started tipping, then removing the tip after the delivery. I suggest doing this as well.

simongray 6y ago

Having to tip delivery people does indeed sound like it would suck. That's a bit like tipping the postman.

rudiv 6y ago
In places in India, it is customary to tip the postman whenever you receive something important - particularly, government documents like a passport, driving licence etc. because those are specially tracked and it's easy for the postal worker to recognize the envelope/packaging too.
- mcpeepants 6y ago
  interesting - is it because of the implication that, since they can easily recognize the package, they could also easily "lose" the package? Are people tipping as a sort of implied form of racketeering, or is it just genuine gratefulness for delivering an important item?
  - jldugger 6y ago
    As I understand it -- primarily from TED Talks -- corruption in India is endemic and somewhat expected. Sure, it's a form of racketeering, in the sense that many government employees have to give their boss a cut, and if they don't, they will be replaced by someone who does. It's typically presented as an "expiditing" fee. And the cause there, as presented by Wikipedia[1] is fascinating to contemplate. The abnormally high tax rate (especially compared to the services provided) increases the demand for corruption to avoid taxation. Taxation avoided reduces money available for bureaucrat salaries, to where they are almost reliant on the bribery system to make ends meet. And hence the pressure on line staff to kick back money up -- a promotion would separate you from direct contact with the public and represent a loss of income that must be replaced somehow. It's kind of a weird Laffer curve phenomenon where higher tax rates yields less revenue. [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India#Factors_contributing_to_corruption_in_India https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_India#Factors_co...
  - geodel 6y ago
    > they could also easily "lose" the package? And they often do.
  - samsari 6y ago
    It sounds like it would act as an incentive for important mail to arrive safely and promptly, if the delivery agent benefits personally.
- pal_9000 6y ago
  I believe it's just an expectation that has been built by previous tippers. When there's a significant positive event like childbirth, obtaining a driving license, e.t.c, naturally people tend to tip. This sets a precedent and they start expecting as a sort of obligation.
- Gibbon1 6y ago
  A friend of mine described how you need to address a package in India. I say tipping is probably reasonable.
- pnako 6y ago
  In some places you need to "tip" the police when driving somewhere. We generally call those tips "bribes".
downerending 6y ago
I did toss my postman a $20 last week. Figured they could use a little appreciation in these trying times.

ergocoder 6y ago

Not only that. There are many people who shame people who don't tip. Coming from a poorer country, mandatory tipping is such a strange concept. Apart from that, I'm a typical engineer in FAANG, and I feel it's expensive... So I wonder who find delivery app cheap? A millionaire?? Back in my country, I ate out every single meal (even when I was a college student). Delivery app works well too because the price is sensible.

ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
I hate that too, I get shamed whenever I don't tip. Sometimes the waiter will ask me why I'm not tipping.
- cityofdelusion 6y ago
  Not tipping (at least in the U.S.) is viewed as insulting. Tipping culture is usually taught to kids as “tip in proportion to how good your server did.” By offering no tip, you indirectly state to the waiter that they did poorly. Growing up, I was taught to always tip at least 10% so that you don’t end up with spit in your food :)
  - ergocoder 6y ago
    That's one way to make money... Being visibly upset and contaminating food.
  - ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
    Maybe it is, but as long as it's not mandatory I don't see why anybody should feel obliged.

leetcrew 6y ago

there are a lot of good arguments against tipping culture (and some for), but it's really not that hard to figure out how much to tip a delivery driver. in normal times, anything at or above 15% (or $2-3, if it's a small order) is enough not to get remembered as a bad tipper. if you're in an unfamiliar situation, you can always just ask what a typical tip is. service staff at a fancy establishment will probably try to evade the question, but otherwise the person will usually answer honestly. if you really just want to "set it and forget it", there's virtually no situation where someone would hold a 20% tip against you.

bobbydroptables 6y ago
>if you really just want to "set it and forget it", there's virtually no situation where someone would hold a 20% tip against you. Great strategy if you have money burning a hole in your pocket and want to subsidize businesses that don't pay a living wage.
ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
why would I pay 15% more for everything I pay when I can actually choose to save these 15%? It's with this money spending culture that people in the US end up in the streets when they miss a single paycheck.
- leetcrew 6y ago
  aside from the fact that it's custom and the prices/wages are already set with the expectation of tips (ie, adjusted down), you are essentially bidding for attention. stiff the delivery person enough times, and you might find that your future orders find their way to the end of the delivery route. if you're this concerned about saving money, you probably shouldn't be ordering food for delivery or dining out in the first place.
  - ccktlmazeltov 6y ago
    I would refrain from giving advice to people on how they want to spend their own money.

DougWebb 6y ago

How about "Hey, this person is out doing a job that could possibly kill them, to save me from having to risk my life by going out. That's really valuable to me; I'll give them an extra $5." I really don't get people who are against tipping people in low-paid service jobs. (Even if they're making at least minimum wage.) If you're paid more than they are, and their service is providing you with value, show them some appreciation!

pnako 6y ago
Do you tip the postman? They bring you letters, which can be very valuable.
- leetcrew 6y ago
  under normal circumstances, you're usually not home when the postman brings your mail. some people give their postman some cash if they happen to run into them, especially if it's around a major holiday. as a random anecdote, I was talking to the ups delivery guy for my building the other day, and he said he's been making more money in tips than from his actual paycheck during the present crisis.
- humaniania 6y ago
  Every Christmas. The UPS guy too.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
- DougWebb 6y ago
  My postman mostly brings me junk mail, that I throw directly into a bin next to my building's mailboxes rather than bring it up to the apartment. That's not his fault, of course. There's no mechanism for me to tip him on any regular basis, unlike the delivery apps that let me add a tip to my credit card payment.
throwqqq 6y ago
Because I shouldn't have to bribe people to do their job.

spike021 6y ago

The way I've sort of thought of tips, it's more like "well, they're driving X miles to/from the store to deliver my order, so the tip should maybe cover that, plus a bit more if they're friendly". But in times like this sometimes I'm ordering from a very short distance that takes a minute or two of driving, so they hardly need, say, $3 dollars tip for gas since it probably wasn't even 1/10 a gallon to get the food and deliver it.

ccktlmazeltov 6y ago

I've started tipping, then removing the tip after the delivery. I suggest doing this as well.