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Without reading the article, I can say yes, yes we are. There are very few exceptions to this depending on your career and mindset. I can say that I enjoyed li

Without reading the article, I can say yes, yes we are. There are very few exceptions to this depending on your career and mindset. I can say that I enjoyed life a lot during my 8 years in the military, and it had nothing to do with the job ( the job sucked ). It had everything to do with the people. Friendships forged, the understanding involved, the familial bond that came with it. That made me feel happy. After that, normal jobs were just busy work. Which iswhy I'm happy to say that my current job ( 100% remote ) is much more satisfactory, and not as "busy". I enjoy life as it is. I lucked out so far. But I will say that while everyone might have different standards of "enjoying life", the key factor is actually _belonging_ to a family. Doesn't mater if that family is blood related, it just needs to be people you fully trust and can do anything with and be completely comfortable with. This is not something that is easily attained, but it can be easier to find if you're not working some shit job 10 hours a day every day five days a week with no chance of vacation and no job security. That shit needs to change,a nd the majority of us are slaves to it.

2OEH8eoCRo0 6y ago
I feel the same about my 4 years in the service. Once again, the job sucked, but you can't beat the camaraderie and the feeling that everyone really is looking out for each other.
- jfk13 6y ago
  I'm sure that's true for many in the services, but there's a darker side as well... reports of "hazing" etc surface with worrying regularity, suggesting not everyone has the same positive experience.
  - 2OEH8eoCRo0 6y ago
    I've experienced mild hazing and I still wouldn't trade my military service for anything. I don't condone hazing but except for egregious examples people shrug it off and move on. No, not everyone has the same positive experience of anything, but the hazing issue is smaller than you'd think. I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not.
    - cambalache 6y ago
      > I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not. Mmmmm.
    - torgian 6y ago
      Yeah during my eight years, hazing was mostly phased out by then. Some traditions still exist, but they’re quite heavily controlled. Either way, some things do happen occasionally, and this is something most people shrug off. That’s the other problem as well though; civilians will never, truly understand the feeling we have from the military lifestyle. It’s why a lot of veterans gravitate towards eachother.
      - lotsofpulp 6y ago
        >That’s the other problem as well though; civilians will never, truly understand the feeling we have from the military lifestyle. It’s why a lot of veterans gravitate towards eachother. This is exactly what I hear from people in cults.
    - lotsofpulp 6y ago
      >I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not. This is also what I hear from people in cults.
derg 6y ago
>But I will say that while everyone might have different standards of "enjoying life", the key factor is actually _belonging_ to a family. Doesn't mater if that family is blood related, it just needs to be people you fully trust and can do anything with and be completely comfortable with. 1000% agreed. Everything about current life has done a good job siloing and isolating people to be nothing but worker drones. There is no sense of community, no sense of belonging to something, or even being allowed to be human. How many people work jobs so compartmentalized, so abstract, that they can't even see the bigger picture of what they are working on? Better yet, how about all those people who work in the "gig economy", working odd hours, working for scraps, unable to make rent? In each case, the worker is almost completely divorced from anything and it all ultimately starts to be (and feel) completely pointless.
- subhobroto 6y ago
  > 1000% agreed. Everything about current life has done a good job siloing and isolating people to be nothing but worker drones. There is no sense of community, no sense of belonging to something, or even being allowed to be human. It's not something that happened by accident. People like it and gravitate towards it. Doing one, and preferably only one thing is really comforting. When my friends who live in the city complain that their sink is backing up and how hard it is to get a plumber even after offering $350/visit, I listen to the symptoms, figure out the tools needed, pay a visit and fix the problem. When I tell them how easy it is to diagnose a plumbing problem, and how next time they don't need to pay me in beers or even the plumber - they are just. not. interested. Writing the same React application a 100 times is far more enjoyable (and profitable). People really like to say they want to do more things in life, but when push comes to a shove, doing the same old thing, repeatedly, is extremely comforting. Doing different things is risky and non-comforting. That takes deliberate practice and planning.
  - derg 6y ago
    >People really like to say they want to do more things in life, but when push comes to a shove, doing the same old thing is extremely comforting. Your react app example is an interesting one because it touches on the profit motive. Yes, it's easier to be disinterested in say, your plumbing example, but how much of that is due to genuine disinterest and how much is due to the constant implicit pressure to produce produce produce? General Personal growth (including being able to diagnose issues with say your plumbing) takes a back seat to personal growth that can net you the most amount of money and the constant grind of needing to prove your monetary value to society. Simply put, yes there is a bit of the human condition to being interested in what's safe, and what you know, but there's also the implicit need to be hyper-specialized in an unhealthy way in order to maximize your output, to the detriment of everything else and for me personally, the latter is definitely where I fall to the absolute detriment of my own mental health. And that is where I think we are failing as a society.
starpilot 6y ago
> Without reading the article, I can say yes, yes we are. It's a short article and has some great points I haven't heard. But perhaps you were too busy...
- torgian 6y ago
  Unfortunately I can’t get it to load :/
y-c-o-m-b 6y ago
> But I will say that while everyone might have different standards of "enjoying life", the key factor is actually _belonging_ to a family. Doesn't mater if that family is blood related, it just needs to be people you fully trust and can do anything with and be completely comfortable with. I was reading about "Blue Zones" (areas of the world where people live exceptionally long lives) earlier today and one of the common traits among these areas is exactly what you're saying: have a close-knit social circle of family and friends. As an introvert, this idea goes completely against what I feel comfortable/happier with of course, but I think that's more a result of toxic people in my life in the past. When I reflect back on my social interactions with past friends (of the non-toxic variety), I do get a sense of being happier. What makes this especially interesting to me is while I have access to more "friends" now as a software developer, the white-collar interactions are less meaningful than when I was working minimum wage jobs. The friendships from my blue-collar jobs were far more memorable. The software work is more meaningful, but the blue-collar jobs gave me true happiness and I think the people I socialized with played a big part in that.
partyboat1586 6y ago
My friends who I've known since childhood are like a family to me. Unfortunately they like to drink and do drugs for recreation and I don't want to do that anymore. It's a big part of the rituals of the group and I'm not really ready to move on. I still love all of my friends and I don't think they are bad people for what they do, it's just not for me anymore. It works for them and they are still successful but I enjoy clean living. Ever since I started feeling that disconnect with the group I have been deeply unhappy. I don't know where to start. Do I try and take them with me? Do I try and find a new community? How do I do find a new community?

2OEH8eoCRo0 6y ago

I feel the same about my 4 years in the service. Once again, the job sucked, but you can't beat the camaraderie and the feeling that everyone really is looking out for each other.

jfk13 6y ago
I'm sure that's true for many in the services, but there's a darker side as well... reports of "hazing" etc surface with worrying regularity, suggesting not everyone has the same positive experience.
- 2OEH8eoCRo0 6y ago
  I've experienced mild hazing and I still wouldn't trade my military service for anything. I don't condone hazing but except for egregious examples people shrug it off and move on. No, not everyone has the same positive experience of anything, but the hazing issue is smaller than you'd think. I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not.
  - cambalache 6y ago
    > I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not. Mmmmm.
  - torgian 6y ago
    Yeah during my eight years, hazing was mostly phased out by then. Some traditions still exist, but they’re quite heavily controlled. Either way, some things do happen occasionally, and this is something most people shrug off. That’s the other problem as well though; civilians will never, truly understand the feeling we have from the military lifestyle. It’s why a lot of veterans gravitate towards eachother.
    - lotsofpulp 6y ago
      >That’s the other problem as well though; civilians will never, truly understand the feeling we have from the military lifestyle. It’s why a lot of veterans gravitate towards eachother. This is exactly what I hear from people in cults.
  - lotsofpulp 6y ago
    >I'm ready for you to not understand this, civilians usually do not. This is also what I hear from people in cults.

derg 6y ago

>But I will say that while everyone might have different standards of "enjoying life", the key factor is actually _belonging_ to a family. Doesn't mater if that family is blood related, it just needs to be people you fully trust and can do anything with and be completely comfortable with. 1000% agreed. Everything about current life has done a good job siloing and isolating people to be nothing but worker drones. There is no sense of community, no sense of belonging to something, or even being allowed to be human. How many people work jobs so compartmentalized, so abstract, that they can't even see the bigger picture of what they are working on? Better yet, how about all those people who work in the "gig economy", working odd hours, working for scraps, unable to make rent? In each case, the worker is almost completely divorced from anything and it all ultimately starts to be (and feel) completely pointless.

subhobroto 6y ago
> 1000% agreed. Everything about current life has done a good job siloing and isolating people to be nothing but worker drones. There is no sense of community, no sense of belonging to something, or even being allowed to be human. It's not something that happened by accident. People like it and gravitate towards it. Doing one, and preferably only one thing is really comforting. When my friends who live in the city complain that their sink is backing up and how hard it is to get a plumber even after offering $350/visit, I listen to the symptoms, figure out the tools needed, pay a visit and fix the problem. When I tell them how easy it is to diagnose a plumbing problem, and how next time they don't need to pay me in beers or even the plumber - they are just. not. interested. Writing the same React application a 100 times is far more enjoyable (and profitable). People really like to say they want to do more things in life, but when push comes to a shove, doing the same old thing, repeatedly, is extremely comforting. Doing different things is risky and non-comforting. That takes deliberate practice and planning.
- derg 6y ago
  >People really like to say they want to do more things in life, but when push comes to a shove, doing the same old thing is extremely comforting. Your react app example is an interesting one because it touches on the profit motive. Yes, it's easier to be disinterested in say, your plumbing example, but how much of that is due to genuine disinterest and how much is due to the constant implicit pressure to produce produce produce? General Personal growth (including being able to diagnose issues with say your plumbing) takes a back seat to personal growth that can net you the most amount of money and the constant grind of needing to prove your monetary value to society. Simply put, yes there is a bit of the human condition to being interested in what's safe, and what you know, but there's also the implicit need to be hyper-specialized in an unhealthy way in order to maximize your output, to the detriment of everything else and for me personally, the latter is definitely where I fall to the absolute detriment of my own mental health. And that is where I think we are failing as a society.

starpilot 6y ago

> Without reading the article, I can say yes, yes we are. It's a short article and has some great points I haven't heard. But perhaps you were too busy...

torgian 6y ago
Unfortunately I can’t get it to load :/

y-c-o-m-b 6y ago

> But I will say that while everyone might have different standards of "enjoying life", the key factor is actually _belonging_ to a family. Doesn't mater if that family is blood related, it just needs to be people you fully trust and can do anything with and be completely comfortable with. I was reading about "Blue Zones" (areas of the world where people live exceptionally long lives) earlier today and one of the common traits among these areas is exactly what you're saying: have a close-knit social circle of family and friends. As an introvert, this idea goes completely against what I feel comfortable/happier with of course, but I think that's more a result of toxic people in my life in the past. When I reflect back on my social interactions with past friends (of the non-toxic variety), I do get a sense of being happier. What makes this especially interesting to me is while I have access to more "friends" now as a software developer, the white-collar interactions are less meaningful than when I was working minimum wage jobs. The friendships from my blue-collar jobs were far more memorable. The software work is more meaningful, but the blue-collar jobs gave me true happiness and I think the people I socialized with played a big part in that.

partyboat1586 6y ago

My friends who I've known since childhood are like a family to me. Unfortunately they like to drink and do drugs for recreation and I don't want to do that anymore. It's a big part of the rituals of the group and I'm not really ready to move on. I still love all of my friends and I don't think they are bad people for what they do, it's just not for me anymore. It works for them and they are still successful but I enjoy clean living. Ever since I started feeling that disconnect with the group I have been deeply unhappy. I don't know where to start. Do I try and take them with me? Do I try and find a new community? How do I do find a new community?