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Would anyone mind sharing their take on this? > • Trust me: There is no “them”.

Leace 7y ago
There is no separation of "us" vs "them" and if for your own benefit everyone should be satisfied. See also "Think win-win" from 7 habits: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People#4_-_Think_win-win https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effecti...
Communitivity 7y ago
It is both the hardest bit of advice on the list to follow, and the most profound. Many religions have some version of a holy man/woman going to a mountain/cave/ocean/forest and coming back with divine/enlightened wisdom. What they all have in common is some version of 'Unity: we are one'. It makes violence much harder, among other things. What left hand wants to shoot the matching right hand? Pragmatically, this means whenever you are thinking with the us vs them mentality you can try to realize that there is some value of us which includes you and the ones you consider 'them', a common ground. A possible first rule is that this is the key step in any negotiation. A possible second rule is that everything is a negotiation.
- Aeolun 7y ago
  Ultimately, you can say everyone is human. But some humans are more human than others, at least in my system of ethics. I don’t necessarily blame the bad apples, but in the same way that I don’t blame my infected finger. It’s still going to require a strong dose of antibiotics.
  - TeMPOraL 7y ago
    That's already shifting the way you look at things. You'll still have to deal with the infection, but you aren't hating your finger.
tke248 7y ago
I took it to mean there is no one conspiring against you. Sometimes people add more meaning to innocuous interactions and believe it's planned or concerted effort when really its just a bunch of random peoples choices.
9wzYQbTYsAIc 7y ago
> In sociology and social psychology, an in-group is a social group to which a person psychologically identifies as being a member. By contrast, an out-group is a social group with which an individual does not identify https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-group_and_out-group https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-group_and_out-group
GuB-42 7y ago
For me, it just means that when you are just saying "them" (or "they", or "their") the group of people your are referring to doesn't exist, and you are on your own. "they are going to fix my problem": no one is working on your problem "I told them": the message went nowhere "It is their job": if it is someone's job, that someone is you

There is no separation of "us" vs "them" and if for your own benefit everyone should be satisfied. See also "Think win-win" from 7 habits: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People#4_-_Think_win-win https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effecti...

Communitivity 7y ago

It is both the hardest bit of advice on the list to follow, and the most profound. Many religions have some version of a holy man/woman going to a mountain/cave/ocean/forest and coming back with divine/enlightened wisdom. What they all have in common is some version of 'Unity: we are one'. It makes violence much harder, among other things. What left hand wants to shoot the matching right hand? Pragmatically, this means whenever you are thinking with the us vs them mentality you can try to realize that there is some value of us which includes you and the ones you consider 'them', a common ground. A possible first rule is that this is the key step in any negotiation. A possible second rule is that everything is a negotiation.

Aeolun 7y ago
Ultimately, you can say everyone is human. But some humans are more human than others, at least in my system of ethics. I don’t necessarily blame the bad apples, but in the same way that I don’t blame my infected finger. It’s still going to require a strong dose of antibiotics.
- TeMPOraL 7y ago
  That's already shifting the way you look at things. You'll still have to deal with the infection, but you aren't hating your finger.

tke248 7y ago

I took it to mean there is no one conspiring against you. Sometimes people add more meaning to innocuous interactions and believe it's planned or concerted effort when really its just a bunch of random peoples choices.

9wzYQbTYsAIc 7y ago

> In sociology and social psychology, an in-group is a social group to which a person psychologically identifies as being a member. By contrast, an out-group is a social group with which an individual does not identify https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-group_and_out-group https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-group_and_out-group

GuB-42 7y ago

For me, it just means that when you are just saying "them" (or "they", or "their") the group of people your are referring to doesn't exist, and you are on your own. "they are going to fix my problem": no one is working on your problem "I told them": the message went nowhere "It is their job": if it is someone's job, that someone is you