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No, I’m sorry that your situation is the way it is, but the dysfunctional mindset here is the one that thinks that making friends is not normal. If you really t
by txcwpalpha 7y ago
No, I’m sorry that your situation is the way it is, but the dysfunctional mindset here is the one that thinks that making friends is not normal. If you really think the way that your post describes, you should find a new job ASAP because it is absolutely not healthy to view such a large portion of your life that way.
Being laid off has nothing to do with friendship. As your post even says, you should separate personal from business. I know several people who were separated from places of work and still maintain strong bonds with their now-former coworkers. I personally left my company of 5 years on not-so-great terms and yet several of the people in my wedding party are coworkers from that job. Work is a great place to begin friendships, and just because you no longer work at the same company does not mean your friendship has to end. And that’s the way it should be.
- pdimitar 7y agoWell, I don't think we disagree. I know that friendships can start at work and I'm okay with that. I was mostly saying that it shouldn't be the norm because mixing work and personal life can lead to pretty nasty problems. I too have a few pleasant acquaintances that are former co-workers, by the way.
- txcwpalpha 7y agoYour original comment states that it is “dysfunctional to have friends at work”. We absolutely disagree.
- pdimitar 7y agoSeems like we do then. In my eyes it's something that shouldn't be encouraged but also shouldn't be resisted if it happens naturally. I've observed a lot of Stockholm syndrome in people in offices and that made me believe many are forcing relationships at work so at to make their workplace more tolerable. I could be wrong though.
- freejazz 7y agoYeah... it's called being polite and sociable
- pdimitar 7y agoLet's not conflate being professional (which includes being polite) with actually making friends in the office. Very different things.
- freejazz 7y agoRight, that's why I included being 'sociable' as well!
- pdimitar 7y agoAh well, at this point I believe I made the wrong impression. I am actually quite an ongoing guy and easily bond with people. HOWEVER, when in a work setting I prefer to grab the problem at hand by the horns and start wrestling it. I like small talk -- maybe even too much! -- and that's exactly why I gradually learned to deflect most such attempts by colleagues so as not to be in an awkward position later after I have bonded with 10+ people but got zero work done. :D You know?
- freejazz 7y agoNo, I don't know. I don't have trouble navigating being personable to my coworkers and getting work done. In fact, it's kind of hard to imagine how being personable gets in the way of productivity, when I'd imagine the opposite to be true - that is to say a lack of personableness amongst co-workers in an office would lead to inefficiencies. I'm not sure how being personable, to you, means bonding to the extent that nothing got done.
- pdimitar 7y agoSigh, not one joke gets past you. Thanks for the discussion.