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> That's until you reach a certain point in your life (baby, sponse) I’m past that point, as are all of my friends. Nothing in my comment is changed by that fa
by txcwpalpha 7y ago
> That's until you reach a certain point in your life (baby, sponse)
I’m past that point, as are all of my friends. Nothing in my comment is changed by that fact.
If anything, coworker relationships actually become more important as you get older and your other friends start to drift away. Post age 30, work is one of the best (if not the only, for most people) opportunities to socialize and make friends. I’ve noticed that people in other fields realize this and take advantage of it, but those in technical positions don’t, and many techies seem to even actively despise that aspect.
- pdimitar 7y agoWe are being treated as interchangeable cogwheels. At certain point you do start to despise the social aspects of work, yes. Plus, I've had several people -- all the way to the CEO -- assure me how much I am appreciated and even looked at as a superhuman, yet 2 months later boom, we have to lay you off. Defense mechanism or not, it's pretty normal to not mix personal and work lives and you pretending it's not dysfunctional to have friends at work is actually a bit worrying. You just got lucky, mate. That's cool and I am happy for you. But you should recognise it should absolutely not be the normal state of affairs.
- txcwpalpha 7y agoNo, I’m sorry that your situation is the way it is, but the dysfunctional mindset here is the one that thinks that making friends is not normal. If you really think the way that your post describes, you should find a new job ASAP because it is absolutely not healthy to view such a large portion of your life that way. Being laid off has nothing to do with friendship. As your post even says, you should separate personal from business. I know several people who were separated from places of work and still maintain strong bonds with their now-former coworkers. I personally left my company of 5 years on not-so-great terms and yet several of the people in my wedding party are coworkers from that job. Work is a great place to begin friendships, and just because you no longer work at the same company does not mean your friendship has to end. And that’s the way it should be.
- pdimitar 7y agoWell, I don't think we disagree. I know that friendships can start at work and I'm okay with that. I was mostly saying that it shouldn't be the norm because mixing work and personal life can lead to pretty nasty problems. I too have a few pleasant acquaintances that are former co-workers, by the way.
- txcwpalpha 7y agoYour original comment states that it is “dysfunctional to have friends at work”. We absolutely disagree.
- pdimitar 7y agoSeems like we do then. In my eyes it's something that shouldn't be encouraged but also shouldn't be resisted if it happens naturally. I've observed a lot of Stockholm syndrome in people in offices and that made me believe many are forcing relationships at work so at to make their workplace more tolerable. I could be wrong though.
- benbristow 7y ago> Plus, I've had several people -- all the way to the CEO -- assure me how much I am appreciated and even looked at as a superhuman, yet 2 months later boom, we have to lay you off. It most likely wasn't their choice. You can't really have that affect your friendships.