4 ms·

And why not avoid mentioning the source of the information altogether? "You were doing X." If the persons asks where the information comes from, just say "I pay

• leetcrew 7y ago
  first of all, I think that's a weaker approach. I learned in highschool that if your accuser doesn't state how they know you did something, they often don't actually know for sure and are hoping you'll incriminate yourself. my guess is that opening leads people to just deny it until your show a bit more of your hand. but my main point is that, unless the behavior happened in a very public place, the offender is likely to assume the victim reported it themselves, whether or not they actually did! the risk of retaliation probably needs to be weighed when deciding whether to confront the wrongdoer at all, unless the offense was so severe that they can be removed from the environment immediately.
• SpicyLemonZest 7y ago
  If the person didn't realize they were doing X, which is pretty common, a flat declaration like that sets the wrong tone. As the article mentioned, you're trying to help them understand what's wrong and correct it, not declare them guilty and issue a warning as punishment.
  • deleted 7y ago
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• SilasX 7y ago
  And then you’re at risk of getting snared by someone who made up the incident or is reporting in bad faith (singling the accused out for behavior the accuser and everyone else does).