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Using Models to Stay Calm in Charged Situations
- warlog 7y agoIsn't the reason for getting upset because nobody else is using mental models?
- Benjammer 7y agoIf you thought it was contentious before, just wait until you start lecturing everyone about how they suck at thinking... That's sure going to improve the emotional situation.
- nerdponx 7y agoThe point isn't to tell people how to think. It helps you think clearly even when everyone around you isn't. And it helps you empathize with, and therefore communicate better with, the people around you.
- wisty 7y agoLogical fallacies don't have to be directly stated (unless you're talking to people who can think like adults). You can simply use them as a shortcut to strategies that are likely to work. If someone is making a slippery slope argument, then you can use a standard slippery slop reply.
- im3w1l 7y agoIn my experience a lot of slopes are slippery, and a lot of people who cry "slippery slope" are disingenuous; they know the slope is slippery and they want to slide down. As to why slopes are slippery, it may be that it's easy and natural to build political alliances advocating for either side of it, but hard to build an alliance advocating for the middle.
- swiley 7y agoI’ve noticed that some people will watch for certain patterns and strings and then just react with some kind of pattern that they fill in the blanks to rather than applying reason. When they’re not talking to you and not getting emotional it’s just obnoxious but when they’re angry and you have to deal with it there isn’t much worse.
- Barrin92 7y agothe reason for being upset is primarily the person being upset not being in charge of their emotions and getting mentally trapped in a situation. most important is probably the observation that one cannot control their environment and that anger isn't really helpful in any circumstance other than running away from a tiger or something, so if you get upset just take a few breaths and get a coffee. I'm not sure how much the mental models mentioned in the article help because I've come to the conclusion that getting upset is primarily a biological thing. It's much more simple I think than people often suggest.
- phnofive 7y agoThe whole example is just the fantasy version of the meeting as the author replays it in his mind while taking a shower.
- m3kw9 7y agoIf I can afford to hire a few models to help me stay calm that’d be fine too
- pmarreck 7y agoI upvoted, but only to shield you from the avalance of downvotes coming
- pmarreck 7y agoHanlon's Razor should be more well-known. I like to modify it and call it Hanlon's Scythe: "In the absence of clear evidence, don't automatically attribute to malice, that which can be trivially attributed to any other cause"
- steverb 7y agoWe always phrased it as "Presume good intent."
- rmdashrfstar 7y agoWho's we?
- HarryHirsch 7y agoThat's fine. Let's all forgive drunk drivers, they just want to get home, no matter how much carnage they cause. It's a stupid phrase that enables all sorts of black stupidity.
- wwwwewwww 7y agoAbsence of malice doesn't absolve from responsibility. The mental model is still accurate in your example.
- yjftsjthsd-h 7y agoYou've taken it a half-step too far, but yes; if you assume that drunk drivers are, in fact, not setting out to comment manslaughter, then you can see what causes it and push for taxis/uber and actually get people off the road. Or you can assume malice, demonize them and end up like MADD.
- zachguo 7y agoStatistics 101
- GusRuss89 7y agoHow much better would the world be if more people put effort into recognising their biases and improving their reactions to things?
- kingludite 7y agoWe would lose even more of our self criticism and browsers would get even slower.
- 737min 7y agoI thought this was about how dating models has helped many high-achievers cope with stress.
- jvanderbot 7y ago"Mental Models" is a wonderful rebranding of plain old wisdom and experience. " The next helpful model is relativity, adapted from the laws of physics. This model is about remembering that everyone’s perspective is different from yours. " The only mental model at play here is the idea that your mind benefits from mental models and that we need an easily-referenced ontology of models brought to us in blog posts.
- apatters 7y agoIt's just not a great article. Farnam Street is popping up on HN all the time these days. They had one article a while back which I liked enough to add their RSS feed to my reader (can't remember which one), but to be frank, I think everything I've read from that site since then has disappointed, and I've since removed them. Seriously, there is no value to internalizing a rule like "think the same way that the theory of general relativity would." It doesn't even make sense. This is low grade pop psych. When passions are running high, the first thing you should do before making decisions is cool down. You don't need a novel mental model you just need to take a break and wait for everyone's emotions (and the accompanying stress hormones, which suppress rational thinking) to subside. That's a better mental model than anything in this article.
- forkexec 7y agoI seems like a clickbait title with vapid, filler content using HN as an advertising platform. If it sinks to the depths of terrible, flagging it at the top is a possible response.
- kungtotte 7y agoIt has some interesting posts, but most/all of them are older ones. These two come to mind: https://fs.blog/2015/11/map-and-territory https://fs.blog/2015/11/map-and-territory https://fs.blog/2019/03/active-mindset/ https://fs.blog/2019/03/active-mindset/ It's not a wellspring of original thought, but more about shining a light on things we take for granted.
- forkexec 7y ago
- forkexec 7y agoFirst thing, try to defuse it with humor. It's free unless the IRS gets wind of you practicing unlicensed silliness. If you want to stay calm in a high-risk situation, try tactical breathing first.[0] Worry about playing with "mental models" second. Another technique soldiers use in war is to assume they are dead until the war ends. It's much less stressful and more survivable. Also, there's no point worrying about things that are actually far beyond one's own control. Another point to consider is the calmest individual typically has the most power in an interaction and has the advantage of clearest thinking. Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden 0. https://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promotion-wellness/psychological-emotional-wellbeing/Combat-Tactical-Breathing.pdf https://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promo...
- carlmr 7y agoI was also thinking, these mental models are good as a checklist of sorts that you can only apply when you're calm. Getting to the calm state first is what's difficult. Not assuming malice in general is probably the only helpful thing in there to stay calm. Tactical breathing (I never knew it was called that) helps me, too. Even something that simple can be difficult to apply in the heat of the moment, that's why the technique has to be as simple as "just inhale and exhale slowly". Everything moderately complex won't help.
- fellowniusmonk 7y agoI had never heard that the "assume you're already dead" tactic was used by anyone. I can vouch that it works, I was born with several heart defects and spent so much time as a child and through my early 20s going in to surgeries and procedures with uncertain outcomes that being "already dead" has been my thing, a kind of "I was born already dead" mental headspace, I still think that way effectively 100% of the time and as a result I'm pretty hard to be derailed by mundane problems, fears and slights that seem to get under the skin of others. I wonder why they don't continue that mindset when they get home, I wonder if any military psychologists have identified downsides? A few different periods of my life I've gone to therapists and they don't seem to know care about that headspace once they carefully confirmed that I'm neither suicidal or a high risk taking individual.
- 7y ago