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Your story reminds me of an anecdote in The Economist where an econ professor wondered why it was socially unacceptable to hire someone to help his friends move

Your story reminds me of an anecdote in The Economist where an econ professor wondered why it was socially unacceptable to hire someone to help his friends move house rather than helping directly himself, when he didn't want to.

bumby 7y ago
This made me genuinely chuckle. I love economic theories applied to real life when they border on absurd because they assume everything is about maximizing utility. I'll be sure to farm out all my spousal duties if I have better things to do and I'll report back on how that went.
- Consultant32452 7y ago
  One time my wife explained to me that she didn't feel like I appreciated her doing my laundry. I responded that she should stop doing my laundry. I didn't feel like it was her "job" to do the laundry and if it was the source of some emotional problem, it could easily be avoided. I thought I had solved the problem. She's my ex-wife now.
  - magduf 7y ago
    This reminds me of some web article I read a while ago complaining about how women suffer more "emotional labor" in relationships. It was of course written by a women, but to me, it really seemed like a lot of whining, which amounted to "I think all this stuff is necessary, so if my husband doesn't pitch in and do half of it, it's unfair." So, for instance, if the wife insists on having an immaculately clean house, and the husband doesn't do his share on keeping the house up to her level of perfection, then he's a slacker. But from his perspective, he doesn't care about the house being that spic-and-span, so why should he be responsible for that much work? There was more to it than that; I think another big example was keeping up with social engagements. Again, something where the woman somehow thought these things were absolutely necessary, volunteered to do them, and then complained that she was having to do all this unpaid labor, while the man really didn't care about doing these things at all.
    - Consultant32452 7y ago
      I saw the same: https://twitter.com/thebettinaarndt/status/1225628813700321280 https://twitter.com/thebettinaarndt/status/12256288137003212...
    - jimbokun 7y ago
      It might show, though, that those two people aren't very compatible and maybe not a good match for marriage.
      - magduf 7y ago
        I believe that's absolutely true, however the people whining about "emotional labor" never seem to see this, they just blame the husband. Honestly, I'm starting to think that very few married couples are really all that compatible in the first place, and that the institution isn't a very good deal for most people involved. Considering just how many marriages end in divorce, plus how many people simple stay single these days, it seems like marriage really isn't workable. It only worked in "the old days" because women were 2nd-class citizens who rarely could get good jobs, and social pressures just forced people to get married, and stay married, even if they were miserable together.
  - mjcohen 7y ago
    I'm learning standup comedy. That is a great joke.
- jimbokun 7y ago
  "I'll be sure to farm out all my spousal duties..." Careful that your spouse doesn't prefer the performance of those duties by the contractor to how you perform them.
ACow_Adonis 7y ago
As an economist, I've often wondered what would happen if i came to an agreement to split household chores in a certain way with my wife. Then if I could automate or outsource all my chores, I would only have free time to spend around the house while still doing my share! Surely marital bliss and mutual appreciation would follow! :p
devit 7y ago
I don't think it's socially unacceptable to hire someone or purchase something for the benefit of a friend in general, especially if you are in a better position to do so than the friend (e.g. you run a service company in that field or are much wealthier than the friend). However, in the particular case of moving, a friend might not want an untrusted stranger handling their belongings, so you would need their consent and they might not give it.

bumby 7y ago

This made me genuinely chuckle. I love economic theories applied to real life when they border on absurd because they assume everything is about maximizing utility. I'll be sure to farm out all my spousal duties if I have better things to do and I'll report back on how that went.

Consultant32452 7y ago
One time my wife explained to me that she didn't feel like I appreciated her doing my laundry. I responded that she should stop doing my laundry. I didn't feel like it was her "job" to do the laundry and if it was the source of some emotional problem, it could easily be avoided. I thought I had solved the problem. She's my ex-wife now.
- magduf 7y ago
  This reminds me of some web article I read a while ago complaining about how women suffer more "emotional labor" in relationships. It was of course written by a women, but to me, it really seemed like a lot of whining, which amounted to "I think all this stuff is necessary, so if my husband doesn't pitch in and do half of it, it's unfair." So, for instance, if the wife insists on having an immaculately clean house, and the husband doesn't do his share on keeping the house up to her level of perfection, then he's a slacker. But from his perspective, he doesn't care about the house being that spic-and-span, so why should he be responsible for that much work? There was more to it than that; I think another big example was keeping up with social engagements. Again, something where the woman somehow thought these things were absolutely necessary, volunteered to do them, and then complained that she was having to do all this unpaid labor, while the man really didn't care about doing these things at all.
  - Consultant32452 7y ago
    I saw the same: https://twitter.com/thebettinaarndt/status/1225628813700321280 https://twitter.com/thebettinaarndt/status/12256288137003212...
  - jimbokun 7y ago
    It might show, though, that those two people aren't very compatible and maybe not a good match for marriage.
    - magduf 7y ago
      I believe that's absolutely true, however the people whining about "emotional labor" never seem to see this, they just blame the husband. Honestly, I'm starting to think that very few married couples are really all that compatible in the first place, and that the institution isn't a very good deal for most people involved. Considering just how many marriages end in divorce, plus how many people simple stay single these days, it seems like marriage really isn't workable. It only worked in "the old days" because women were 2nd-class citizens who rarely could get good jobs, and social pressures just forced people to get married, and stay married, even if they were miserable together.
- mjcohen 7y ago
  I'm learning standup comedy. That is a great joke.
jimbokun 7y ago
"I'll be sure to farm out all my spousal duties..." Careful that your spouse doesn't prefer the performance of those duties by the contractor to how you perform them.

ACow_Adonis 7y ago

As an economist, I've often wondered what would happen if i came to an agreement to split household chores in a certain way with my wife. Then if I could automate or outsource all my chores, I would only have free time to spend around the house while still doing my share! Surely marital bliss and mutual appreciation would follow! :p

devit 7y ago

I don't think it's socially unacceptable to hire someone or purchase something for the benefit of a friend in general, especially if you are in a better position to do so than the friend (e.g. you run a service company in that field or are much wealthier than the friend). However, in the particular case of moving, a friend might not want an untrusted stranger handling their belongings, so you would need their consent and they might not give it.