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I was diagnosed in my 30s in part by the T.O.V.A. test, which gave me surprising insights. The hardest part of the test for me was to stop pushing the button w

I was diagnosed in my 30s in part by the T.O.V.A. test, which gave me surprising insights. The hardest part of the test for me was to stop pushing the button when it told me to. It's hard to describe how difficult that was for me. By the end I distinctly recall the familiar sense I had in school of feeling dumb, inadequate, and frustrated. In the T.O.V.A. results I was normal range for Inattention and Reaction Time. My Inconsistency was 75/100 but the shocker was my Impulsivity. My commission errors put me at 52/100, what the psychologist said was more or less a mentally retarded range. On 10mg of Adderall, I retook T.O.V.A. and scored normal ranges across the board. That helped me better understand why I was a class clown underachiever who barely graduated. I cried the first time I studied a tech manual on Adderall. It was as if my brain were a radio that tuned into a clear channel for the first time. I wondered if that was how "normal" people are able to concentrate. Soon, however, the stimulant honeymoon wore off as my tolerance increased and side effects ensued. Today I take nothing. I've noticed the symptoms being less disturbing since my mid-40s. A weird part about being on Adderall is it slowed down my brain and reduced my quirky left-field personality to such a degree that I didn't feel like myself anymore, though I felt much more confident. One of my children also has the diagnosis and says the exact same thing. He only takes Adderall as needed for school challenges that require extra concentration. An early diagnosis for him helped him dodge the co-morbid problems that plagued me for years. I don't tell friends or co-workers about the diagnosis. Even my spouse has expressed doubt about it.

kalium-xyz 7y ago
Check out this read: https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-more-than-you-wanted-to-know/ https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-mo...
Philadelphia 7y ago
Try other medication. It took me a few years, after being diagnosed in my 30's as well, to find something that helped without side effects.
- kls 7y ago
  Can second this, I started on Adderall but it has severe side effects for me. I read up on it and due to the Left handed amphetamines in the formula it causes more parasympathetic nervousness system stimulation as opposed to central nervousness system stimulation which is what the dextro-amphetamine target. You may want to try Dexedrin which is only dextro-amphetamine or Desoxyn which is methamphetamine. In my case after reading I asked the Doc if I could try Desoxyn and given Adderall was night and day for me, Desoxyn was like a superpower. Methamphetamine more easily crosses the blood brain barrier so there is less left in the body for the PNS. So you can take lower doses, get less physical effect, while getting more pronounced mental effect. Desoxyn should be the front line medicine for ADD/ADHD but it's old, cheap and not under patent.
  - sys32768 7y ago
    Almost embarrassed to admit that I've never heard of Desoxyn but am very intrigued. It was never mentioned to me when I was getting meds, nor when my son was. I live in "meth country" unfortunately so getting a prescription may be a challenge, but at least I have the paperwork.
    - kls 7y ago
      Most people have not heard of it, my Doc had never heard of it. It is old (in used since the 1940's IIRC) and rarely used nowadays, due to the fact that there is no marketing budget around it. As for getting a script it should not be that hard the dose is so low that a meth addict would have to take a quarter of the bottle to achieve the same effect as smoking street meth. Desoxyn is a salt so it is not smoke-able and smoking is the way that Crystal Meth achieves such an intense high.
  - falcolas 7y ago
    Thirded. My psychologist helped me go through 5 different medications and various doses to find the right one for me. Help with managing concentration enough that I've been promoted (like 4 times... suckers), with no emotional or physical side effects (including loss of appetite).
phaedrus 7y ago
When I got diagnosed one of the tests (don't know if it was specifically T.O.V.A.) was a very simple impulse control exercise: when an "O" appeared on the screen, I was supposed to push a button. When an "X" appeared on the screen, I was supposed to not push the button. I did so badly that I felt the need to "apologize" to the test giver, explaining that I really did understand the instructions I just (physically) couldn't catch myself when the "X" appeared. What would happen is I'd start off slow and increasingly react faster and faster to the O's until I hit an X. Then I'd go oh crap I messed up OK gotta slow down. Next thing I knew I was reacting to O's again within 10th's of a second and of course unable to stop in time when the X appeared. It was a concrete demonstration of the idea about an ADHD brain being like driving a car with a responsive accelerator but the brakes barely or don't work. Edit: almost forgot - after getting prescribed adderall I was able to read research papers for the first time in my life. Prior to that I couldn't concentrate well enough to actually read them. This despite having participated in a Research Experiences for Undergraduates program. I was able to "fake it" for two years and never admit I couldn't actually read or buckle down to write research papers. I had always felt some shame about that but after ADHD medication I realize it was a disability and not just laziness. I no longer take medicine for ADHD but just having had the experience of being able to focus changed my outlook on things.

kalium-xyz 7y ago

Check out this read: https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-more-than-you-wanted-to-know/ https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-mo...

Philadelphia 7y ago

Try other medication. It took me a few years, after being diagnosed in my 30's as well, to find something that helped without side effects.

kls 7y ago
Can second this, I started on Adderall but it has severe side effects for me. I read up on it and due to the Left handed amphetamines in the formula it causes more parasympathetic nervousness system stimulation as opposed to central nervousness system stimulation which is what the dextro-amphetamine target. You may want to try Dexedrin which is only dextro-amphetamine or Desoxyn which is methamphetamine. In my case after reading I asked the Doc if I could try Desoxyn and given Adderall was night and day for me, Desoxyn was like a superpower. Methamphetamine more easily crosses the blood brain barrier so there is less left in the body for the PNS. So you can take lower doses, get less physical effect, while getting more pronounced mental effect. Desoxyn should be the front line medicine for ADD/ADHD but it's old, cheap and not under patent.
- sys32768 7y ago
  Almost embarrassed to admit that I've never heard of Desoxyn but am very intrigued. It was never mentioned to me when I was getting meds, nor when my son was. I live in "meth country" unfortunately so getting a prescription may be a challenge, but at least I have the paperwork.
  - kls 7y ago
    Most people have not heard of it, my Doc had never heard of it. It is old (in used since the 1940's IIRC) and rarely used nowadays, due to the fact that there is no marketing budget around it. As for getting a script it should not be that hard the dose is so low that a meth addict would have to take a quarter of the bottle to achieve the same effect as smoking street meth. Desoxyn is a salt so it is not smoke-able and smoking is the way that Crystal Meth achieves such an intense high.
- falcolas 7y ago
  Thirded. My psychologist helped me go through 5 different medications and various doses to find the right one for me. Help with managing concentration enough that I've been promoted (like 4 times... suckers), with no emotional or physical side effects (including loss of appetite).

phaedrus 7y ago

When I got diagnosed one of the tests (don't know if it was specifically T.O.V.A.) was a very simple impulse control exercise: when an "O" appeared on the screen, I was supposed to push a button. When an "X" appeared on the screen, I was supposed to not push the button. I did so badly that I felt the need to "apologize" to the test giver, explaining that I really did understand the instructions I just (physically) couldn't catch myself when the "X" appeared. What would happen is I'd start off slow and increasingly react faster and faster to the O's until I hit an X. Then I'd go oh crap I messed up OK gotta slow down. Next thing I knew I was reacting to O's again within 10th's of a second and of course unable to stop in time when the X appeared. It was a concrete demonstration of the idea about an ADHD brain being like driving a car with a responsive accelerator but the brakes barely or don't work. Edit: almost forgot - after getting prescribed adderall I was able to read research papers for the first time in my life. Prior to that I couldn't concentrate well enough to actually read them. This despite having participated in a Research Experiences for Undergraduates program. I was able to "fake it" for two years and never admit I couldn't actually read or buckle down to write research papers. I had always felt some shame about that but after ADHD medication I realize it was a disability and not just laziness. I no longer take medicine for ADHD but just having had the experience of being able to focus changed my outlook on things.