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One thing that she touched on that I've thought a lot about recently is the age at which we have kids. My father passed away a couple of weeks ago, and I compar

One thing that she touched on that I've thought a lot about recently is the age at which we have kids. My father passed away a couple of weeks ago, and I compare him to his brother. My uncle had his first kid 10 years younger than my dad, and he ended up with the fourth one being older than me. He's got 10 grandchildren, the oldest of which is an adult now. My dad's grandchildren will never know him in any real way. Since the funeral I've thought about this a lot. Our later-life relationships will be affected by the age at which we had kids. I'm sure this is in the minds of a lot of people in this economic age. There's a lot of "investing in your career" where the equation doesn't account for this. I wish we could have an economy where this was easier. Say you could have your kids early, in your 20s, yet still progress your career. Perhaps pay for it with working to an older age, which should be possible with some improved health outcomes. Along with a flexible education system that allowed you come in and out. And perhaps incentives for firms to let people in and out, instead of the constant career grind that requires people to constantly push. Some of the finance and legal tracks seem to be for people who are expected to die at 45, like some weird victorian dystopia.

burlesona 7y ago
I think about this a lot as well. My wife and I decided to have our first child at 30, which is fairly early compared to our peers. Economically it would have been better to wait, we’ve each had career opportunities we couldn’t take advantage of because of having children, and if somehow we could have waited until 40 I think we would have had an easier time economically. But, physically and emotionally, I wish we could have had kids at 22 or so. Of course we hadn’t even met so this is pure wishful thinking. But still. Raising a family is a real joy, but it’s also very physically demanding (even for men), and the younger you are the easier the physical aspect is. Also, we know a small number of people who had children very young, and now in their 40s their children are grown. It’s a really fascinating relationship, with somewhat more ability to relate to each other and a really cool ability to live life together. Especially when this is across generations, it’s amazing to have an extended family with three generations not just alive but still well. I have no idea how society could ever adjust to make something like that work out - I think it might be easier to “fix fertility” to give more people the option of starting a family in their 40s. But still, I wonder about it often.
- ramraj07 7y ago
  Hopefully People just live longer and healthier? That can solve this problem a bit
- lordnacho 7y ago
  If the economy permitted it, the dating market would reflect that and you'd more easily find someone at a young age. Just like it used to be.
  - kkarakk 7y ago
    Nah economy is just one part of the puzzle, society has moved on from the "you need to have kids to live a full life" mentality too. Good luck finding an interesting career driven woman who wants kids at 20 something. Also, imo- for the most part kids degrade life experience significantly before they improve it, often in the part of your lifespan that you can actually enjoy life the most. Are you going to be taking risks and travelling to far flung countries in your 40-50s? most probably not by choice. Hanging out with my kids at 40 isn't gonna happen even if i had chosen to have kids. Kids nowadays will be in school/tutoring programs/hanging out on social media not have time for me as a father to teach them outdated cultural mores(that they will ignore anyways just like i did).
    - lordnacho 7y ago
      But those attitudes are also a result of the state of the economy?
agensaequivocum 7y ago
It is possible. I myself just turned 26 and my wife and I have our third coming in July. Having kids is a sacrifice, one of the greatest sacrifices one can make. I know many other young families. While I am a well-paid software engineer most of my young family friends are middle/high school teachers.
thefz 7y ago
> I wish we could have an economy where this was easier. Say you could have your kids early, in your 20s, yet still progress your career. Perhaps pay for it with working to an older age And who will pick up for missed work, absence, and economical expenses of such a model?

burlesona 7y ago

I think about this a lot as well. My wife and I decided to have our first child at 30, which is fairly early compared to our peers. Economically it would have been better to wait, we’ve each had career opportunities we couldn’t take advantage of because of having children, and if somehow we could have waited until 40 I think we would have had an easier time economically. But, physically and emotionally, I wish we could have had kids at 22 or so. Of course we hadn’t even met so this is pure wishful thinking. But still. Raising a family is a real joy, but it’s also very physically demanding (even for men), and the younger you are the easier the physical aspect is. Also, we know a small number of people who had children very young, and now in their 40s their children are grown. It’s a really fascinating relationship, with somewhat more ability to relate to each other and a really cool ability to live life together. Especially when this is across generations, it’s amazing to have an extended family with three generations not just alive but still well. I have no idea how society could ever adjust to make something like that work out - I think it might be easier to “fix fertility” to give more people the option of starting a family in their 40s. But still, I wonder about it often.

ramraj07 7y ago
Hopefully People just live longer and healthier? That can solve this problem a bit
lordnacho 7y ago
If the economy permitted it, the dating market would reflect that and you'd more easily find someone at a young age. Just like it used to be.
- kkarakk 7y ago
  Nah economy is just one part of the puzzle, society has moved on from the "you need to have kids to live a full life" mentality too. Good luck finding an interesting career driven woman who wants kids at 20 something. Also, imo- for the most part kids degrade life experience significantly before they improve it, often in the part of your lifespan that you can actually enjoy life the most. Are you going to be taking risks and travelling to far flung countries in your 40-50s? most probably not by choice. Hanging out with my kids at 40 isn't gonna happen even if i had chosen to have kids. Kids nowadays will be in school/tutoring programs/hanging out on social media not have time for me as a father to teach them outdated cultural mores(that they will ignore anyways just like i did).
  - lordnacho 7y ago
    But those attitudes are also a result of the state of the economy?

agensaequivocum 7y ago

It is possible. I myself just turned 26 and my wife and I have our third coming in July. Having kids is a sacrifice, one of the greatest sacrifices one can make. I know many other young families. While I am a well-paid software engineer most of my young family friends are middle/high school teachers.

thefz 7y ago

> I wish we could have an economy where this was easier. Say you could have your kids early, in your 20s, yet still progress your career. Perhaps pay for it with working to an older age And who will pick up for missed work, absence, and economical expenses of such a model?