4 ms·

Is there anything you have done that has improved motivation of your kids to get out of the house? I'm asking as a mid-twenty year old who has a few friends tha

Is there anything you have done that has improved motivation of your kids to get out of the house? I'm asking as a mid-twenty year old who has a few friends that haven't had a real job in years and wants to help. The main issue I've run into is that they just don;t care they are burdening their parents

marcosdumay 7y ago
When I was younger, everybody just wished for independence. What changed? I'm betting on housing cost and low quality of life for youngs, but well, I do have very little evidence to substantiate it.
- leetcrew 7y ago
  I have some twenty-something friends with upper-middle class parents who still live with them. they either didn't finish college or chose a less lucrative major than CS. they have low-wage jobs and mostly work less than fulltime. the common thread I see is that living with their parents simply offers a higher standard of living than they could have if they moved out. I live in a relatively low COL area, so they would certainly be able to make ends meet if they cut the cord. but they would eat worse food, have a smaller room, and little money left over to save or go out. I imagine it's hard to find to motivation to work harder just to move out and decrease one's standard of living. I was very fortunate to land a good job straight out of college where I was actually able to increase my standard of living after moving out (although I do miss my mom's cooking).
leetcrew 7y ago
I have friends like this too. you know them better than I of course, but I doubt that your friends don't care at all about burdening their parents. imo, guilt is just not a very effective motivator for someone to get their life together. it tends to make them feel bad and get even more set in their ways. the only way I've ever seen this work out is after some spark that gives the person an intrinsic desire to improve their own life (and the belief than they can). as for what you can do for your friends, there's probably not much. the best you can do is to live well yourself and be a good example for them. also, be careful. there is some truth to the saying, "you become the average of your five best friends." if you get too involved in their day-to-day, you will experience friction when it comes to accomplishing your own goals.

marcosdumay 7y ago

When I was younger, everybody just wished for independence. What changed? I'm betting on housing cost and low quality of life for youngs, but well, I do have very little evidence to substantiate it.

leetcrew 7y ago
I have some twenty-something friends with upper-middle class parents who still live with them. they either didn't finish college or chose a less lucrative major than CS. they have low-wage jobs and mostly work less than fulltime. the common thread I see is that living with their parents simply offers a higher standard of living than they could have if they moved out. I live in a relatively low COL area, so they would certainly be able to make ends meet if they cut the cord. but they would eat worse food, have a smaller room, and little money left over to save or go out. I imagine it's hard to find to motivation to work harder just to move out and decrease one's standard of living. I was very fortunate to land a good job straight out of college where I was actually able to increase my standard of living after moving out (although I do miss my mom's cooking).

leetcrew 7y ago

I have friends like this too. you know them better than I of course, but I doubt that your friends don't care at all about burdening their parents. imo, guilt is just not a very effective motivator for someone to get their life together. it tends to make them feel bad and get even more set in their ways. the only way I've ever seen this work out is after some spark that gives the person an intrinsic desire to improve their own life (and the belief than they can). as for what you can do for your friends, there's probably not much. the best you can do is to live well yourself and be a good example for them. also, be careful. there is some truth to the saying, "you become the average of your five best friends." if you get too involved in their day-to-day, you will experience friction when it comes to accomplishing your own goals.