5 ms·

> she was known among her friends for her ability to meet guys online. No offense, Julia, but that's not much of an ability if you are a woman.

marquis 16y ago
Online dating is harder than you think for women also. If you stick with the mainstream sites you lose interest VERY quickly with the unwelcome attention. So if Julia has spent a lot of time and energy in this area she'll be an expert in how to create a site that works, and keeps women interested. This is a prime example where we need more women in tech - to build these subtle tools with direct insight for the target market.
- tibbon 16y ago
  Right on. Its not hard to meet random people, but its very hard to meet awesome people that you actually feel like spending time around.
  - sfphotoarts 16y ago
    that's because 'online' doesn't do much selective filtering. Lets say you go the symphony (of the orchestral type, not the framework) and meet some boys. You are selecting, let's say you go a coffee shop in the Mission, or Lower Haight, again you are selecting. Sitting in Dolores park on a sunny sunday afternoon automatically selects certain demographics. When you look for boys or girls online you use primitive criteria for selection which results in poor matching. Facebook is a much better dating site because groups are more organic, formed by real people coming together around common values. I am rather surprised that Julia has any problems meeting boys, I'm sure she could just sit in a coffee shop in the Mission with a laptop (preferably with a few stickers, including the obligatory CC) and be approached by decent young men all day.
    - juliamae 16y ago
      i don't have a problem meeting guys. i have a problem meeting guys that i feel any lust for. that's a big problem among the people i know who are looking for lovers on- and offline. however, i hear the odds are much better for single women in SF than NYC. so if this site doesn't work out for me, i know where i'm moving next..
    - marquis 16y ago
      >be approached by decent young men all day I wish! I am in cafe right now surrounded by decent young men and all we do is glance at each other's laptops and smartphones.
      - omarchowdhury 16y ago
        So why don't you approach?
        marquis 16y ago
        Oh, believe me I have done. It got tiring being the instigator and I made a promise to myself to let the guys do the approaching for a while. (Someone did and now we're in a happy relationship).
- acangiano 16y ago
  As you can read from my reply below, I don't disagree. I only highlighted how that sentence wasn't conveying what she probably meant to say. Online dating is hard for both genders, but in women's case what's hard is screening the candidates, rather than a lack of them. So yes, women entrepreneurs may have better insight on how to make this screening process as easy on them as possible.
juliamae 16y ago
thanks for the feedback; I really wasn't sure how that would come across to random strangers. TBH, it is kind of hard for me to meet people online now. sure, i could go on OKC and find a hundred dates tonight, but most likely feel no emotional connection to those people. i'm trying to capture the vulnerable spirit of my early years on the web and create an environment where people who can actually connect with each other.
- acangiano 16y ago
  What you are trying to do is admirable, and I understood what you meant with that original line. It didn't however convey what you probably meant. I would write something along the lines of, "she was known among her friends for her ability to meet great guys online with which she developed deep emotional connections". Or something like that. You are now qualifying that you had the ability to find the right type of guy online, as opposed to just a random guy. Because as a woman, it doesn't take skill to do the latter. If I can provide some further feedback, I would truly reconsider the name. Your initial crowd will no doubt be geeky. The word "lust" tend to intimidate women, and even shy men in my opinion. It also fails at conveying that it's a place to "find friends" or to "connect with each other". Right now the name and your "lusty" design, would be perfect for a site for random hook-ups. I see a major gap between what you are trying to do and what you have so far.
  - juliamae 16y ago
    excellent feedback; i'll definitely qualify that line with something more meaningful. as for the name, i'm actually specifically not going after a geeky crowd (which is why my heart kinda fell out of my chest when i saw it was submitted to HN) and am initially going for younger, artistic, NYC singles. the name is designed to attract the kind of people i want on the site for now.
    - tibbon 16y ago
      Opps :) Whenever I see something neat that a friend is doing my first instinct is to spread it like wildfire.
lhnz 16y ago
Yeah, this will immediately turn me off the site because I can only assume girls are going to read this and feel that it's condescending to them.

marquis 16y ago

Online dating is harder than you think for women also. If you stick with the mainstream sites you lose interest VERY quickly with the unwelcome attention. So if Julia has spent a lot of time and energy in this area she'll be an expert in how to create a site that works, and keeps women interested. This is a prime example where we need more women in tech - to build these subtle tools with direct insight for the target market.

tibbon 16y ago
Right on. Its not hard to meet random people, but its very hard to meet awesome people that you actually feel like spending time around.
- sfphotoarts 16y ago
  that's because 'online' doesn't do much selective filtering. Lets say you go the symphony (of the orchestral type, not the framework) and meet some boys. You are selecting, let's say you go a coffee shop in the Mission, or Lower Haight, again you are selecting. Sitting in Dolores park on a sunny sunday afternoon automatically selects certain demographics. When you look for boys or girls online you use primitive criteria for selection which results in poor matching. Facebook is a much better dating site because groups are more organic, formed by real people coming together around common values. I am rather surprised that Julia has any problems meeting boys, I'm sure she could just sit in a coffee shop in the Mission with a laptop (preferably with a few stickers, including the obligatory CC) and be approached by decent young men all day.
  - juliamae 16y ago
    i don't have a problem meeting guys. i have a problem meeting guys that i feel any lust for. that's a big problem among the people i know who are looking for lovers on- and offline. however, i hear the odds are much better for single women in SF than NYC. so if this site doesn't work out for me, i know where i'm moving next..
  - marquis 16y ago
    >be approached by decent young men all day I wish! I am in cafe right now surrounded by decent young men and all we do is glance at each other's laptops and smartphones.
    - omarchowdhury 16y ago
      So why don't you approach?
      - marquis 16y ago
        Oh, believe me I have done. It got tiring being the instigator and I made a promise to myself to let the guys do the approaching for a while. (Someone did and now we're in a happy relationship).
acangiano 16y ago
As you can read from my reply below, I don't disagree. I only highlighted how that sentence wasn't conveying what she probably meant to say. Online dating is hard for both genders, but in women's case what's hard is screening the candidates, rather than a lack of them. So yes, women entrepreneurs may have better insight on how to make this screening process as easy on them as possible.

juliamae 16y ago

thanks for the feedback; I really wasn't sure how that would come across to random strangers. TBH, it is kind of hard for me to meet people online now. sure, i could go on OKC and find a hundred dates tonight, but most likely feel no emotional connection to those people. i'm trying to capture the vulnerable spirit of my early years on the web and create an environment where people who can actually connect with each other.

acangiano 16y ago
What you are trying to do is admirable, and I understood what you meant with that original line. It didn't however convey what you probably meant. I would write something along the lines of, "she was known among her friends for her ability to meet great guys online with which she developed deep emotional connections". Or something like that. You are now qualifying that you had the ability to find the right type of guy online, as opposed to just a random guy. Because as a woman, it doesn't take skill to do the latter. If I can provide some further feedback, I would truly reconsider the name. Your initial crowd will no doubt be geeky. The word "lust" tend to intimidate women, and even shy men in my opinion. It also fails at conveying that it's a place to "find friends" or to "connect with each other". Right now the name and your "lusty" design, would be perfect for a site for random hook-ups. I see a major gap between what you are trying to do and what you have so far.
- juliamae 16y ago
  excellent feedback; i'll definitely qualify that line with something more meaningful. as for the name, i'm actually specifically not going after a geeky crowd (which is why my heart kinda fell out of my chest when i saw it was submitted to HN) and am initially going for younger, artistic, NYC singles. the name is designed to attract the kind of people i want on the site for now.
  - tibbon 16y ago
    Opps :) Whenever I see something neat that a friend is doing my first instinct is to spread it like wildfire.

lhnz 16y ago

Yeah, this will immediately turn me off the site because I can only assume girls are going to read this and feel that it's condescending to them.