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> Engineers in places like SFBA severely underestimate how attractive they would be anywhere else in the country/world. I agree completely. > Her exes and her

> Engineers in places like SFBA severely underestimate how attractive they would be anywhere else in the country/world. I agree completely. > Her exes and her friends' husbands are shockingly anti-intellectual, didn't attend college, have some substance abuse issues, and/or make well under 6 figures. Here's what happened: Guys who are intellectual, attended college, have good discipline, and stayed away from substance abuse and similar problems - they moved to the Bay to get that "six figure job". The Bay has thus become chock-full of these men. The few women who moved to the Bay can have their pick. What would be a rare find elsewhere, is commonplace and boring in the Bay. One of many anecdotes I could cite: A friend of mine is a 25yo female working in recruiting in the Bay. If you pitched a date as an "intellectual, college-educated man with a good life and a six-figure job" she'd literally laugh in your face. She had 2 different guys courting her at the time, a startup CEO and a VC. She once showed me her Tinder account. Just by swiping 30-40 times, she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, and it would usually be a match. "120k/year"? You'd make her laugh.

TwoBit 7y ago
Most startup CEOs don't make much. Are there really very many VCs out there?
- NeverFade 7y ago
  > Most startup CEOs don't make much. Depends on the startup and what stage it is. If it's a successful startup, then the CEO is sitting on a pile of stock that will likely be worth millions. If it's also a later stage startup, then likely he is making at least as much as his senior developers on top of that. Either way, he's a much better bet if you want to be a millionaire's wife some day. Also, executives typically have expense accounts that afford them a very nice lifestyle _right now_, even if their salary isn't that high. You can be making a modest salary, but leading a jetset life on business expenses. > Are there really very many VCs out there? Yes there are. Here's just one random list of them: http://www.calstartuplawfirm.com/venture-groups.html http://www.calstartuplawfirm.com/venture-groups.html
  - Zenbit_UX 7y ago
    Of all the women I know, not one of them aspires to be "a millionaire's wife".
    - barry-cotter 7y ago
      "How could Nixon have won? Nobody I know voted for him"
    - NeverFade 7y ago
      Funny coincidence, I never met such a woman either! I did meet plenty who just happened to only date men who make high six to seven figures. It was a serial coincidence!
      - Apocryphon 7y ago
        Sounds like a self-selection situation
      - take_a_breath 7y ago
        Me too! Unfortunately none of them ever married those men and most of them remain pretty unhappy with their dating lives. Another serial coincidence!
        NeverFade 7y ago
        That's a pretty expected outcome when you pay that game. If you take the sum of all the comments, it goes something like this: 1. Women are disproportionally flocking to a few guys at the very top of the income / success curve. 2. Those guys have amazing dating life, and no pressure to commit. 3. They will go through dozens of women and eventually settle with one. So if they date X women in their bachelorhood, only one 1/X will end up marrying them, and X-1/X will be left disappointed and unhappy. 4. X can be 200+, so that's a lot of unhappy women. 5. Meanwhile tons of guys below the top would love get a date, and can't. They're also unhappy. 6. Evolution isn't optimizing for happiness.
    - 7y ago
pravda 7y ago
>she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, Does she have them audited? Because my "Tinder Salary" is an order of magnitude greater my actual salary.
- NeverFade 7y ago
  I assure you, she is quite astute. The Tinder demonstration was just a fun way to show me how many options she has. For example, with LinkedIn and its profile pics, it's very easy to figure out whether the guy you're chatting with really is the CEO of a hot startup.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
- cookieswumchorr 7y ago
  I'm not sure if this doesn't fall under the definition of something like "delusory rape" these days
pugworthy 7y ago
if what she cares about is income, that's pretty damned sad.
- NeverFade 7y ago
  In her defense, I don't think she only cared about income. But she could easily screen out everyone making less than seven figures, so she started from that reduced pool, then further screened it for personality, etc.
- arcticbull 7y ago
  Being a woman dating in the Bay Area is like that gif with the hot dogs thrown at your face. You’ve gotta start cutting somewhere and why not there?
X6S1x6Okd1st 7y ago
> If you pitched a date as an "intellectual, college-educated man with a good life and a six-figure job" she'd literally laugh in your face. That literally says nothing about what makes that person interesting or fun to be around. Thinking that people boil down to salary and education level will make you only able to display those things. Find a hobby that you like, enrich yourself in ways that aren't measured by the IRS.
Zenbit_UX 7y ago
> she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, and it would usually be a match. > "120k/year"? You'd make her laugh. I don't understand this fixation on earnings, I wasn't making half that when I found my partner. Making 7 figures won't get you a girlfriend, but thinking it will makes it likely any partner you do find won't stick around long. One of two things are happening, either a, all the women you're meeting truly are fixated on nothing but a man's wallet (highly unlikely but possible) or b, you have some seriously unhealthy views towards women and relationships that you should work on before attempting to enter a meaningful relationship.
- username90 7y ago
  Women find men with more money to be more attractive. It isn't the only factor, but it is a significant factor like for example height. > "A man can move himself two points higher on the attractiveness scale we used if his salary increases by a factor of 10," study author John Speakman told The Times. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-attracted-to-rich-men-scientists.html https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-...
  - BuckRogers 7y ago
    I found my wife when I was unemployed. I wouldn't have it any other way. As a result, I remind myself to never forget it, and be extra good as a husband. Relationships are hard enough, if you're using your income (I had none, was on unemployment), or inheritance (I have none) as a carrot, you're in for a rude awakening someday. Apologies to Red Green, but while I'm not wealthy, I'm just a run of the mill software developer in Chicago.. she does find me handy and handsome!
    - NetOpWibby 7y ago
      Finding a spouse when you aren't well off or rich is the wave. From what I see/hear from my friends, dating is grueling. I've been with my mine for almost a decade.
    - 7y ago
bitL 7y ago
> The few women who moved to the Bay can have their pick. I don't think so. It's only when males are desperate to settle; living alone and spending their money on their hobbies/travel might be a much more attractive option to them than to bind to an unattractive female that went to SFBA specifically to capture a high-value male.
- arcticbull 7y ago
  I think you underestimate the situation haha. Your perception of attractiveness is based on who’s around you. If the average around you is by New York standards a 5, then a 6 is above-average attractive. And a 7 is a solid catch. Women in the Bay Area can easily score a few points higher than in more competitive cities and the opposite is true for men.

TwoBit 7y ago

Most startup CEOs don't make much. Are there really very many VCs out there?

NeverFade 7y ago
> Most startup CEOs don't make much. Depends on the startup and what stage it is. If it's a successful startup, then the CEO is sitting on a pile of stock that will likely be worth millions. If it's also a later stage startup, then likely he is making at least as much as his senior developers on top of that. Either way, he's a much better bet if you want to be a millionaire's wife some day. Also, executives typically have expense accounts that afford them a very nice lifestyle _right now_, even if their salary isn't that high. You can be making a modest salary, but leading a jetset life on business expenses. > Are there really very many VCs out there? Yes there are. Here's just one random list of them: http://www.calstartuplawfirm.com/venture-groups.html http://www.calstartuplawfirm.com/venture-groups.html
- Zenbit_UX 7y ago
  Of all the women I know, not one of them aspires to be "a millionaire's wife".
  - barry-cotter 7y ago
    "How could Nixon have won? Nobody I know voted for him"
  - NeverFade 7y ago
    Funny coincidence, I never met such a woman either! I did meet plenty who just happened to only date men who make high six to seven figures. It was a serial coincidence!
    - Apocryphon 7y ago
      Sounds like a self-selection situation
    - take_a_breath 7y ago
      Me too! Unfortunately none of them ever married those men and most of them remain pretty unhappy with their dating lives. Another serial coincidence!
      - NeverFade 7y ago
        That's a pretty expected outcome when you pay that game. If you take the sum of all the comments, it goes something like this: 1. Women are disproportionally flocking to a few guys at the very top of the income / success curve. 2. Those guys have amazing dating life, and no pressure to commit. 3. They will go through dozens of women and eventually settle with one. So if they date X women in their bachelorhood, only one 1/X will end up marrying them, and X-1/X will be left disappointed and unhappy. 4. X can be 200+, so that's a lot of unhappy women. 5. Meanwhile tons of guys below the top would love get a date, and can't. They're also unhappy. 6. Evolution isn't optimizing for happiness.
  - 7y ago

pravda 7y ago

>she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, Does she have them audited? Because my "Tinder Salary" is an order of magnitude greater my actual salary.

NeverFade 7y ago
I assure you, she is quite astute. The Tinder demonstration was just a fun way to show me how many options she has. For example, with LinkedIn and its profile pics, it's very easy to figure out whether the guy you're chatting with really is the CEO of a hot startup.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
cookieswumchorr 7y ago
I'm not sure if this doesn't fall under the definition of something like "delusory rape" these days

pugworthy 7y ago

if what she cares about is income, that's pretty damned sad.

NeverFade 7y ago
In her defense, I don't think she only cared about income. But she could easily screen out everyone making less than seven figures, so she started from that reduced pool, then further screened it for personality, etc.
arcticbull 7y ago
Being a woman dating in the Bay Area is like that gif with the hot dogs thrown at your face. You’ve gotta start cutting somewhere and why not there?

X6S1x6Okd1st 7y ago

> If you pitched a date as an "intellectual, college-educated man with a good life and a six-figure job" she'd literally laugh in your face. That literally says nothing about what makes that person interesting or fun to be around. Thinking that people boil down to salary and education level will make you only able to display those things. Find a hobby that you like, enrich yourself in ways that aren't measured by the IRS.

Zenbit_UX 7y ago

> she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, and it would usually be a match. > "120k/year"? You'd make her laugh. I don't understand this fixation on earnings, I wasn't making half that when I found my partner. Making 7 figures won't get you a girlfriend, but thinking it will makes it likely any partner you do find won't stick around long. One of two things are happening, either a, all the women you're meeting truly are fixated on nothing but a man's wallet (highly unlikely but possible) or b, you have some seriously unhealthy views towards women and relationships that you should work on before attempting to enter a meaningful relationship.

username90 7y ago
Women find men with more money to be more attractive. It isn't the only factor, but it is a significant factor like for example height. > "A man can move himself two points higher on the attractiveness scale we used if his salary increases by a factor of 10," study author John Speakman told The Times. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-attracted-to-rich-men-scientists.html https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-...
- BuckRogers 7y ago
  I found my wife when I was unemployed. I wouldn't have it any other way. As a result, I remind myself to never forget it, and be extra good as a husband. Relationships are hard enough, if you're using your income (I had none, was on unemployment), or inheritance (I have none) as a carrot, you're in for a rude awakening someday. Apologies to Red Green, but while I'm not wealthy, I'm just a run of the mill software developer in Chicago.. she does find me handy and handsome!
  - NetOpWibby 7y ago
    Finding a spouse when you aren't well off or rich is the wave. From what I see/hear from my friends, dating is grueling. I've been with my mine for almost a decade.
  - 7y ago

bitL 7y ago

> The few women who moved to the Bay can have their pick. I don't think so. It's only when males are desperate to settle; living alone and spending their money on their hobbies/travel might be a much more attractive option to them than to bind to an unattractive female that went to SFBA specifically to capture a high-value male.

arcticbull 7y ago
I think you underestimate the situation haha. Your perception of attractiveness is based on who’s around you. If the average around you is by New York standards a 5, then a 6 is above-average attractive. And a 7 is a solid catch. Women in the Bay Area can easily score a few points higher than in more competitive cities and the opposite is true for men.