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Show HN: Dating Site Without Pictures
- rahulchhabra07 7y agoLooks cool. Supper simple, attractive as is. Found missing: - Qualities the person might be seeking in a potential mate; the existing user profiles signal that need. - The button to go to the next profile seems out of place. Could enjoy more focus. - Completing my own profile could be a little more nudging.
- notsogoodatthis 7y agoThis is a duplicate of your other post that failed to get traction. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21898345 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21898345 Please don't repost stuff. It gets annoying.
- m0ther 7y agoI have a lot of professional experience in this field. If you want some help refining your system through my experience, provide some method for me to contact you directly.
- gieoon 7y agoHey thanks, much appreciated, my email is jun.a.kagaya@gmail.com
- sandoooo 7y agoYou know how trying to remake reddit without the censorship will get you a cesspit of people who got censored off of reddit for pretty good reasons? This is the dating version. I predict it'll consist almost solely of extremely unattractive people.
- swsieber 7y agoIt might also attract attractive people tired of vapid interactions. I think you'll get all sorts of people.
- sandoooo 7y agoBut mostly the unattractive people by number. I am not saying your scenario doesn't happen, but compared to the other one it will be statistically insignificant. This also means that the attractive people will find they'll get matched up with nothing but uggos, and then they'll leave.
- jacquesm 7y agoSorry but this kind of language has no place on HN.
- icebraining 7y agoWhat kind, specifically? The particular term, or the underlying idea?
- jacquesm 7y agoThe term. This isn't 3rd grade.
- sandoooo 7y agoHello tone police, I would like you to know that I am fully paid up on my Responsible Free Speech subscriptions and am entitled to at least five more politically incorrect statements this year.
- yellow_lead 7y agoFrom the guest view, it looks like people are only described through their name, job and relationship history. I might suggest a by-line or other information on their profile, but understood if it's only available to members.
- daliwali 7y agoHahaha this will never work for an obvious reason that isn't socially acceptable to state. As soon as looks get involved, it's over.
- genidoi 7y agoThis is not strictly true, its just exceedingly rare.
- StavrosK 7y agoWhy isn't it socially acceptable to state that looks are important? I feel like people are conflating "external appearance matters" and "external appearance is all that matters" and demonizing the former in their attempt to ward away the latter.
- plemer 7y agoThat, but also some who feel they’re losing the beauty game want to flip the board over.
- crooked-v 7y agoAlso, putting the "X out of 10" scale aside, some people are just drawn to certain looks more than others. Tall, short, certain facial structures, different body types, beards/no beards on men, etc.
- buckminster 7y agoI assume the OP isn't talking about beauty.
- mirimir 7y agoHuh. I know that I'm probably unusual. I really haven't ever cared much about looks. I've mostly valued intelligence, good sense of humor, interest in sex, independence and (frankly) a credible career. And in retrospect, among my former wives and lovers, it seems like the less conventionally attractive ones have aged the best.
- undefined_user6 7y agoIs it normal to provide relationship history on dating sites nowadays? I would feel extremely uncomfortable just giving out that info.
- LandR 7y agoDepends if you are male or female? Female... nah, just a pic will do. Male... then yeah... full medical records including blood work, good pictures (probably want some cute animal in your pics too!), dating history - preferably with at a couple of good references! income statements, net worth, pictures of your house, job title, height, weight, body fat %, hobbies, shoe size, list of countries you've visited, professional accreditations. Then you better still be at least an 8 out of 10 on the actractivness scale!
- dinkleberg 7y agoI know you're mostly joking, but it's really not that bad. I think the problem is most of us guys don't have any sense of which photos are actually flattering of ourselves and how to write a description that actually shows some personality (without being weird). Also, the "swipe right on everyone" move most guys seem to have is a terrible idea, Tinder and co. tend to factor that into your ranking/visibility. Ask a friend (preferably female) for advice on your profile and if you've got crappy pics go get some better ones (or hire a professional to help). And as for the attractiveness scale, if you find yourself lower down on the scale know that you're playing a game that is not in your favor since you can't show off your other great qualities there. So you need to find people that are of your similar level of attractiveness to find better success.
- IG_Semmelweiss 7y ago"When the student is ready the master will appear" The same can be applied to partners. Work on yourself, and your desired mate will appear
- bjornlouser 7y agoIn 1 month: Dating Site Without Pictures, But With Voice Recording In 3 months: Dating Site With Pictures, But Only Of Eyes In 6 months: Dating Site With Pictures, Eyes and Nose In 12 months: name change to ohmymember.com (adult site)
- icebraining 7y agoThe "without pictures" concept is fine, but why did you choose to model the user profile after a CV? What do you think are the benefits over, say, OKC's approach?
- ta999999171 7y agoProbably less subjectivity in how to answer.
- sandoooo 7y agoWhen you can't rely on looks, what's the next best indicator? Money and social proof, obviously! Job history / relationship history is a reasonable proxy there, in the sense of other alternatives are worse.
- progval 7y agoAlthough I'm personally done with dating sites, I'm glad to see someone else had this idea, and actually made it. But please consider not making all data go through Google (analytics (which can be blocked) and firestore (which is required)) and allow logins without Google or Facebook accounts. Sharing browsing data of a dating site with a third-party should be considered a privacy issue.
- DarthGhandi 7y agoI'm pretty keen to date someone who blocks Google analytics by default. How does one find such a person? Is there room for a dating site that shadowbans anyone who willfully accepts the current state of surveillance capitalism?
- mirimir 7y ago> ... and firestore (which is required) ... Ah. That's probably why it doesn't load for me. I block local storage.
- WarOnPrivacy 7y agoI get a blank page w/ an empty header. When I allowed google-analytics in UBO, I get a blank page w/ a more populated header and 2 sign-in options. I tried it in IE11 (where broken things go) and I get the You Need Javascipt message on an otherwise blank page. Guessing this page just can't live in a decrapified world.
- gieoon 7y ago
- dinkleberg 7y agoI applaud the attempt to innovate in the dating world which tends to be solely focused on looks. But sexual attraction is an important part of relationships, so going in blind is inherently risky (from a time utilization perspective). With old school blind dates, your date is friend/family selected so some level of filtering is already done for you. I guess a good portion of dates are disappointing anyway and there are even those that get catfished, so it's always worth trying something else out.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- m463 7y agoI vaguely recall computerized dating based on punched cards. I guess expectations have gone up.
- boring_twenties 7y agoDo you just line them up and see how many of the same holes are punched in both?
- gumby 7y agoThat's funny because an early computer dating company was indeed called "great expectations". Back in the 80s and early 90s they had an office in the Landmark Complex in MV next to where Google is now.
- masonic 7y agoMAD TV did an ongoing parody of them called "Lowered Expectations".
- dlkf 7y ago> I guess a good portion of dates are disappointing anyway and there are even those that get catfished, so it's always worth trying something else out. 100%, well put
- adventured 7y agoThe little two person icon in the top right apparently generates a random result. It's very much not obvious what that does at first glance, it appears to be a user account or login type icon. It needs a clear, random element indicator to it.
- eat_veggies 7y agoThis UI looks exactly like LinkedIn hahaha
- gieoon 7y agoIt is!
- Razengan 7y agoCurrent dating apps/services are little more than ad platforms; you advertise yourself to the pool of members they claim to reach, and you pay to have your ad shown to more people more often (Tinder's Boost, OKCupid's A-List.) Apparently they actually hinder matches unless both people are paying. Some of those prices are laughably ridiculous, like Tinder's $40 for a 3 hour "boost", with no indication of effectiveness, and sadly prey on desperation. I'd love to see a modern service that aims to meaningfully connect people instead of perpetually preying upon them for cash. On the other hand, the dating industry may be like the lightbulb cartel; if you're too effective, your customers will no longer need you. :)
- burfog 7y agoThey do need to make money. How would you have them do it? My preference is a markup on the cost of validating alleged attributes. If you claim to be 6'2" tall, that might be validated with a notarized statement from a doctor. If you claim to have a degree, that can be checked via the usual electronic clearinghouse non-profit that universities use. If you claim to own property, county records can be checked. All this costs money. Apply a markup, and that gives a profit that will seem reasonably fair to most people. Another way is to sell the obvious products, ranging from condoms to wedding rings.
- gieoon 7y agoYeah, it's just like real estate, or job seeking market, if you match the seekers and the retailers (in this case both are seekers) too closely, then you don't have repeat customers... But, in the spirit of quality long term transactions and overall increase in reputation and trust, I think it may work out. Business aside, if we're aiming to meaningfully connect people then it serves it's goal.
- lanius 7y agoI could see this being popular with blind users. Perhaps prioritize accessibility.
- RomanBob 7y agoDating sites are female-driven, and females select primarily on looks, as has been shown on plenty-of-fish and tinder data analysis. So a dating sites without pictures would never work. I hope to be proven wrong, but I don't think so.
- lostmsu 7y agoI think the research you are referring to is about unconscious impact of looks on decision. Lack of pictures will affect choices, but will not necessarily make participants unhappy. The later requires an entirely different approach to be studied.
- devit 7y agoThey select on looks because that's all they have on dating sites. People (especially women in mainstream society) mostly ignore looks when they have already had a real-life pleasant interaction; however, it is very challenging to replicate that online, since it's very hard to give incentives to be genuine.
- rubidium 7y agoNo women (and men) don’t. Looks matter. It’s eons of biology that’s too much to completely suppress. Looks always matter... but the degree can change.
- vonseel 7y agoThe funny thing I noticed when living in Switzerland and traveling other European countries is due to the way lower obesity rate, most people are generally attractive. The American obesity rate is something absurd like 40% among adults. A bunch of these people aren't actually half-bad looking if they were able to drop the weight.
- C14L 7y ago> females select primarily on looks Height and income seem to be important according to this okc study (based on millions of profiles): https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2 https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-onli...
- duelingjello 7y agoI’ve thought about this a lot. I think it’s important that dating people match based on relative attractiveness, health, energy level, tidiness, age/maturity, mental attitude, goals and standard of living. Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” Perhaps a more palatable way to approach this is to legitimately screen/curate each applicant and rate them honestly so that there’s less disappointment on blind matching. Also, you don’t what a Philip DeFranco moment of moving to NYC for a would-be significant other that is actually a 16-year-old con artist in Idaho.
- octorian 7y ago> Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” This. So much this. Above all else. Playing the whole game of an online back-and-forth "relationship" before the first meeting is annoying and exhausting. Honestly, it feels like a complete waste of time as well. There will be a yay/nay decision made by at least one party, within the first FIVE MINUTES of that first in-person meeting, that will render EVERYTHING previously exchanged online to be completely irrelevant. Better to just get to that point as quickly as possible, and not kid ourselves about it.
- crooked-v 7y agoThis kind of thing is why I feel like there's an untapped market in some kind of facilitated speed dating that does some kind of basic prescreening on mutual preferences (age range, want/don't want kids, general interests, etc) and sets up events when there's a sufficient 'pool' of people whose Venn diagrams all reasonably intersect.
- IG_Semmelweiss 7y agoIts pretty tapped in NYC. Theres a huge speed dating market there. Pay the fee, exchange 5 minutes with 24 assorted people of your same age. Next!
- DoreenMichele 7y ago
- me551ah 7y agoLooks are always a factor and some people on this site will find it out the hard way. Imagine being matched with someone on this website and chatting with them for a few weeks before meeting. If they ghost you after that meeting for your looks, it's going to be a lot more painful than being swiped left .
- nikkwong 7y ago> "References: He was really nice to me, and one of the nicest guys I've ever dated. We had some issues with his parents not liking me, that eventually caused us to break up. but otherwise I'm envious of the next person who gets to be with him!" The juxtaposition between dating and references.. doesn't work, at least to me. I can't imagine actually writing this about an ex. Especially, curious as to the circumstance in which this type of interaction would even occur. "Hey, sorry we didn't work out, now can you write a reference for my dating profile?"
- mirimir 7y agoThat sounds pretty good to me. Funny story. Good references from one of my ex wives got me in bed with two of her friends. However, they didn't want me, just my sperm. But it was still fun.
- plemer 7y agoThat’s more of an overt brag than a funny story.
- mirimir 7y agoMaybe. But I did say that they didn't actually want a relationship, which isn't such a brag.
- plemer 7y agoI read it mostly as “sex with me comes highly recommended and I have desirable sperm.” But if you were looking for a relationship, I can see how that wouldn’t have felt as...victorious? I didn’t get that context from your original comment though. Anyway, good night.
- mirimir 7y agoI was lonely. But also way too angry for a relationship. So yeah, it was bittersweet. Also, said ex wife was professionally quite awesome, so I think that sort of rubbed off on me.
- avirajkhare00 7y agoThis is LinkedIn without photos.
- tus88 7y agoGood luck with that.
- keyle 7y agoProps for trying something new. Also the savings on bandwidth.
- steve_taylor 7y agoAnd easier to seed with fake profiles to solve the chicken and egg problem.
- dlkf 7y agoProps for building this! The online dating market is a complete mess. It's basically an oligopoly, and has a pretty obvious misalignment of incentives. Novel ideas and competition are sorely needed. As regards all the brilliant psychologists here who are commenting "looks matter to most people!": it's not as though you will find every person you meet on ohmyperson unattractive. The issue is that meeting people you find attractive might happen less frequently than it would on eg Tinder. How much less frequently is an empirical question. It's worth noting that edited, filtered, selection-biased Tinder profile pics are not always useful. Sometimes they're worse than nothing. I've been on a bunch of internet dates in the past year, and half the time my date looks nothing like their photos. At least with ohmyperson I won't feel duped. The problem I see with this model is that it might naturally lead to the situation where people develop a strong connection over messages and then feel disappointed when they meet IRL, only to find that they are incompatible for reasons of physical attraction. This happens sometimes and it's a real bummer. (It's for this reason that I think you should meet - or pass - after sending a couple messages, rather than having a protracted convo). Just as the Tinder model provides a coarse grained filter for looks, I can see ohmyperson providing a coarse grained filter for interests, values, and relationship goals. Some apps (bumble, okc) have various filters for these sorts of attributes, but in my opinion none have really figured it out all that well.
- chillacy 7y agoThis is basically what happened when Ok Cupid tried this as an experiment for one day. Long conversations were instantly abandoned.
- iudqnolq 7y agoCan you expand? I'd like to learn more about this. Ok Cupid used to publish lots of interesting blog posts, so I'm assuming you got that from one, but I can't find it. Do you have a link?
- c0nducktr 7y agoI wonder if the old blog posts are even still up. After they were bought by Match Group, all those experiments stopped, and the site became one with the borg. It's depressing that one shitty corporation, controls every fucking dating site, and has the money to buy pretty much any competitor at this point.
- crca 7y agoWhat’s the incentive for attractive people? Why would you voluntarily give up a competitive advantage in a highly competitive market? If you’re ugly like me this is great.
- riversflow 7y agoBeing attractive brings its own host of problems when it comes to finding a mate, especially if you are looking for someone you really relate to at a high level rather than someone who just scratches some primal itches.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- globular-toast 7y agoRubbish. Being attractive only makes things easier. Why on earth would a less attractive person have a higher chance of finding a soulmate than a more attractive person?
- abcpassword 7y agoOf course you’re right, but this site is plagued with ugly fat trolls, based on the responses here.
- hombre_fatal 7y agoDoesn't seem great at all. You're just procrastinating the "reveal" to a later date where, after N amount of time invested, it might all be for nothing. Also, that sounds like some seriously uncomfortable potential scenarios to me. Like someone who was using 10 year old pics of themselves finally meeting you at the bar. What exactly is the upside again? Getting to pretend like looks don't matter when they actually do?
- crca 7y agoAs an ugly person I have a higher chance of scoring a date with someone attractive using this photoless site than I would have otherwise. Seems like a win.
- swiley 7y agoLooks really aren't that important but context is. Dating sites don't create the environment where this building up context and friendships is possible, maybe chat sites are better? Although I haven't found an online community around something I enjoy that also has lots of women involved. which is kind of frustrating.
- fwber 7y agoHere is my adult matching site with generated avatars, would like feedback: https://www.fwber.com https://www.fwber.com (nsfw)
- overgard 7y agoNothing screams romance like a dating profile designed to look like a resume.
- Smithalicious 7y agoJust like how social networks without censorship attract people who say things nobody wants to hear, this will attract people with faces that nobody wants to see. There might be value in a dating site for really ugly people, but it's niche at best.
- devit 7y agoThis is awesome, please make it succeed if possible. Dating sites are simply horrible at actually creating awesome interaction, and one of the first reason is the fact that obviously looks are pretty much irrelevant for that, yet most seem centered on photos. The site is empty for me other than the top bar though, so can't give any more advice for it. IMHO the most important thing though is to match people that want the same thing out of dating. I.e. if someone wants to have a one night stand and the other wants a long monogamous relationship they should not even see each other's profile, yet pretty much all dating sites don't even let you state your goals!
- sandoooo 7y agoLet's avert our eyes from the tire fires for a second: how would you actually fix this idea so that it actually works? Let's define two win conditions, and you have to hit just one: 1. How to make this actually profitable without being more dark-patterny than Tinder? 2. How to help at least some of the people who are not finding what they need on Tinder, while expending only a reasonable amount of resources?
- 83hajfjeijg 7y agoDating sites are dumb, go outside.
- superqd 7y agoI only see a mostly empty web page. Nothing does anything. Just checked the dev console, and there was a FirebaseError: quota exceeded.
- braindead_in 7y agoJust signed up. The website needs a UI overhaul. I think this will work. All the best.
- gieoon 7y agoWhat kind of UI do you suggest?
- idclip 7y agoAs Others said, sexual attraction is important, as much as i want to believe in text adventure love, heh. Simply allow the photo to be viewed after a mutual text-like occurs
- nazgulnarsil 7y agoImagine one founder starts a company based on stated preferences, the other on revealed preferences. Place your bets.
- firefoxd 7y agoClose to two years ago, there was a show HN for a dating app posted here. I signed up, found a couple bugs, reported them, then deleted the app. Couple month later, I got an email saying that I got a match. Downloaded it again, had a very nice conversation, but I was not attracted. I went to the settings, selected 25 miles radius and Black only. The next match I got was not Black, and over a thousand miles. Now we are married with children. I think dating apps all look for a trick, a gimmick, or a twist. We will find you the perfect match. The real issue is as we get more disconnected from one another, we don't know how to deal with another person. Here is what the dating app I won't build will do. It will tell you how to start a conversation. Help you get dressed on a first date. Help you hold a conversation. Teach you étiquettes. Tell you what to do when you don't get an answer. These are all real relationship building tips that dating apps don't bother with.
- hawkice 7y agoIn less than two years, you delayed several months and then connected with someone a thousand miles away and had two children? They must be twins. Literally, chronologically, must be.
- ithkuil 7y ago"married with children" doesn't necessarily imply that at least two children come from that marriage; e.g. the spouse could have had a child from a previous marriage
- quietbritishjim 7y agoTo be fair, it doesn't make much sense to mention them unless they're from that relationship
- ta999999171 7y agoControversial.
- ithkuil 7y ago
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- anonytrary 7y agoAlthough the physical component of sexual attraction may not be sufficient (which is your premise), it is definitely necessary and cannot be ignored. Tinder is suitable for hookups, but not for dating. Your site is suitable for friendships, but not for dating. Both of these sites could create relationships that evolve into dating, but I don't think either of them are the path of least action for this purpose. Tinder focuses too much on physical attributes, text-only sites focus too little on physical attributes. Both solutions are at the poles of a spectrum. "Dating" is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.
- kissgyorgy 7y agoMan, you don't understand how attraction work and what is Tinder all about. This makes no sense at all.
- tempsy 7y agoIt just seems like wasted time if you end up meeting and there’s no physical attraction. Perhaps something like this would make sense if you only saw pictures after mutually matching based on something both people liked about each other’s written profile.
- buboard 7y agokind of sad that political orientation has become romantically relevant. Other than that , why not add a bidding layer on top? like, everyone starts with 1000 dollars and bid for their favorites.
- Bostonian 7y agoI am a staunch member of one the two main parties, and if my wife donated lots of money and campaigned for candidates of the other party, that would be difficult for me to accept. Avoiding a lifetime of political conflicts within a marriage may be wise.
- samat 7y agoThere is a super app like this called Lex, but it’s for non-straight people only. https://apps.apple.com/ru/app/lex-app/id1436964232?l=en https://apps.apple.com/ru/app/lex-app/id1436964232?l=en
- Slashbot 7y agoI don't care to read about a womens past relationship history... It just means she completely sucks at choosing the right guy or even being a good women, in the past a father/family elders chose who her husband would be for a very good reason. Women completely suck at making good choices. It's very rare nowadays to see highschool sweet heart relationship with family and children.. very rare, because careerism and higher education is pushed on women... so they end up complete fuckups, avoiding doing one thing they should be doing and that is having children and looking after a family with a husband providing. The true history of marriage is that a women is married to the first man she fucks./ period. Only her real father.. not a priest can divorce her of past sexual relationships. Therefore in todays world 99% women are going into new relationships with other men, when she is still married to the first man she had sex with... over 1000 years of lies from the church. It's a good thing women age real quick past there late 20's. The dating sites that try to restrict age ranges are the worst/evil. Of course if you are a man without much or no relationship history that wasn't just highscool girlfriends then its like there is something wrong with you. INcel men are growing in number in todays world, is nothing good about that. Great if you want to write about all your past failed waste of time relationships though.
- anonu 7y agoI've had this exact same idea. The difference was there was a bit more tech or "AI" behind the scenes. You would still upload a picture of yourself. You would also build a model of what features you were looking for ... Maybe like choosing who you like better between two different pictures. Then your matches would be made if both sides had high "similarity scores" for each other's pictures.
- gieoon 7y agoThat's a really cool idea, it would be cool to compare profiles (maybe even using images generated from a GAN like thispersondoesnotexist.com) to figure out what kind of features are attractive, then choose from a pool of narrowed down candidates on both sides. It just seemed like a bit of a hurdle to launch with
- Bostonian 7y agoPeople do filter based on education. College graduates usually marry college graduates. I am married and don't have a direct interest in dating sites, but I suggest that people be allowed to state SAT/ACT scores and to filter based on those scores. My wife's relatives looked on her behalf and chose me partly because I graduated from a famous university. I chose her partly because of her profession (physician). The Rick Singer scandal has dramatized how non-academic criteria affect college admissions. Graduates from HYPS/MIT are on average smarter than other college graduates, but a more granular filter based on test scores would be helpful.
- scotty79 7y agoAs okcupid becomes more like tinder I think there's a place now for more thoughtful dating site.
- presstumer 7y agoI logged in with google but am unable to see any profiles on the main page
- presstumer 7y agoI've opened up the console and seen that it's just your Firebase quota being exceeded. Doesn't seem like a problem at all on client end
- littlestymaar 7y agoJust so you know: the website is totally broken on Firefox for Android.
- gieoon 7y agothanks
- Klittle489 7y agoHey
- Klittle489 7y agoSo
- Klittle489 7y agoWhat
- crow996 7y agoJust thought I'd mention that I was once on a Dutch dating website, where you could read the profiles straight away, and each other's photos would gradually fade in (from blurry to clear) for each chat message you exchanged.