I have been dealing with cancer for the last year. And they do radiation and chemo, and then I get a break for a few months and another PET scan, more radiation

I have been dealing with cancer for the last year. And they do radiation and chemo, and then I get a break for a few months and another PET scan, more radiation, a few more months and a CT scan and pembro. Another scan and another spot. More radiation (last Friday to be precise). I have accepted that I will probably be dead in a few years. It is why I haven't had the PEG removed. I'm keeping it in so I can dump pills and vodka directly into my stomach if things hurt too much. I have accepted things. I have all my end of life stuff sitting in a envelope on my desk. I have already paid for my remains to be taken care of. Sigh, the funeral home I paid in advance is probably going to end up on a episode of of American Greed. But yeah, don't take it personal if we give up. There is a point where the bad is greater than the good and just checking out is the smart thing to do.