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I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most o

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. Growing up in the 1970s in the United States, conducting nuclear attack drills with regularity, many of us felt that it was fairly likely that we would be incinerated before our 21st birthdays. "Every day you're breathing is a good day." There are certainly limits to these 8 simple words, but radical gratitude is at their core. It's quite likely that everybody reading this post is having a FAR better life than 99.9% of every other human being who exists and has ever existed. I'm a generally happy person because, from a young age, I have chosen to focus on that simple truth. This perspective need not lead to complacence. Those who know me will say that I've always been a driven person, personally and professionally. Every day you're breathing is a good day. Thanks, grandpa, for the wise words. He would have celebrated his 100th birthday last month.

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
retube 7y ago
Indeed. To select one data point: had you been born in Russia in 1923 you had only a 32% chance of making it to 1946. infant mortality, famine and then WW2 meant that 68% of the 1923 cohort died before they were 23.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
- Diederich 7y ago
  Yup, it's good to point that sort of thing out. Most of the history that (I suspect) most of the readers of HN are exposed to will be quite western focused, and yes, a lot of things were fairly bad in the first half of the 20th century in the United States. But damn...things were fucking terrible in a lot of other parts of the world during that time. And more importantly, such terrible times existed, all over the world, going back forever.
  - WalterBright 7y ago
    The Civil War was pretty bad for the US in terms of death rates.
- majos 7y ago
  Do you have a citation for this? That’s a remarkable statistic, but I want a source before I go telling people.
  - majos 7y ago
    Here is a source [1]. That analysis roughly breaks down as 1/4 loss each from infant mortality; famine and Stalin’s terror; and WWII. [1] https://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/markharrison/entry/was_the_soviet/ https://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/markharrison/entry/was_the_sovie...
- badpun 7y ago
  > infant mortality, famine and then WW2 Don't forget the Stallinist terror (innocent people dying in concentration camps). EDIT: why the downvote? Wikipedia estimate for the victims of The Purge is at 600k-1.2m level (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Purge https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Purge), certainly enough to make a dent in the stats.
keyle 7y ago
Similar experience from me, my grand father was a resistance veteran back from WWII in Europe. He didn't talk much about it except to express the famine and misery they went through those years. He had it rough, lost his first wife young and just about everything. He never told me how to be or who to be, or what to think, he just was content to have me around, grateful for everything. Later in life, he became blind for many years, and just kept trucking along, not the complainer type. Always keeping it light-hearted basically, humouring and never judging, just caring deeply for others but himself, never wanting to be in the way of anyone, even the people paid to help him. He is to this day my biggest inspiration.
WalterBright 7y ago
> He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. My father, B-17 navigator, said he accepted that he was going to die in combat. The odds at the time of surviving were terrible (about 80% casualties). He did survive (hence my existence), and told me that whenever he felt down about something he'd remember his buddies who died in the war and how he'd been given a chance to live through it, and he'd re-appreciate his life. Upon his return to the states, the crews were led to tables to eat. There was nothing to order, the staff assured them "we know what you want." Sure enough, they did - steak, eggs, tomatoes, etc. Upon return to civilian life, he said he was astounded by the triviality of peoples' everyday life concerns. They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about?
- seppin 7y ago
  > Upon return to civilian life, he said he was astounded by the triviality of peoples' everyday life concerns. They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about? Perhaps the key to a well-adjusted view of life is trauma? To show you how good the rest of life can be.
  - trevyn 7y ago
    I really think this is true. I don't know how to extract a prescription from that, though.
    - bamboozled 7y ago
      Can’t you just read about others stories like this and put yourself in their shoes, I guess it’s enough. There is suffering on an immense scale daily. * Warning - Following is Graphic not for sensitive people * For example I read from the comfort of my bed last night that a beekeeper just lost practically everything in Australia and when fires ripped through his property, to add insult to injury, when he went into the Forrest, all he could hear was a choir of moaning, wounded or dying animals. Koalas, kangaroos etc. One can easily be grateful this day they didn’t experience something this catastrophic and that you’re not one of those animals. You can also realise one day you might be, so while your ok, make the most of it. Link to the story, again it’s not for the sensitive: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-20/beekeepers-traumatised-by-screaming-animals-after-bushfires/11721756 https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-20/beekeepers-traumatise...
rorykoehler 7y ago
Agreed. Also on the topic of complacency it's hard to understand why the 2 thoughts would be linked (as I'm sure they are for many people). You've been given an opportunity so try take advantage. Trying your best is a minimum and I'm not even from the school of protestant work ethic thought. I suspect that conditioning from early age to submit to authority (school) plays a huge part and is ultimately very destructive for society.
crtccnt 7y ago
"Every day you're breathing is a good day." isn't something that happy people or grateful people say. If you are happy or grateful, you wouldn't even think to say it. Being happy is a state of being that doesn't require rationalization or justification. Happy children or even happy dogs are in the state of happiness and don't require lies like "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". It's been my experience that people who are unhappy or discontent try to "persevere" with trite mantra like "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". My father used to say that a lot like your grandfather. And I suspect, like my father, your grandfather was dissatisfied and unhappy. He, like my father who fought in vietnam, probably also suffered through PTSD for his entire life from the horrible things he saw and did in war. Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing", then you might as well be a plant. During the happiest times in my life, I've never even thought to say "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". It was only during the unhappy times in my life, that you have to resort to such quotes and mantra.
- elSidCampeador 7y ago
  I respectfully disagree. What's "trite" for you might not be trite for someone else. > Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing", then you might as well be a plant. What a weird time to be alive - apparently there is a minimum inescapable standard of what I (or anyone else) can be grateful for.
- Diederich 7y ago
  I think I understand the basic sentiment behind all of what you're saying, and I do appreciate you sharing it. I only have time to respond very briefly. I suspect there are some (fairly reasonable) assumptions behind your assessment here. First, my grandfather didn't say much at all. He was quiet and reserved, with only a few friends. He said "...breathing is a good day.", perhaps eight or ten times in the 18 years I lived with him, and the following 15 years I'd visit. And it was always in response to me or someone else complaining about trivial stuff. To be clear: he wasn't repeating that statement like a mantra. > Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing" ... Far from it; it's a baseline of gratitude, not in any way exclusive. > During the happiest times in my life, I've never even thought to say "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". For me as well! And likely my grandfather's perspective as well. > ...grandfather was dissatisfied and unhappy ... PTSD ... My grandfather definitely dealt with PTSD for many years, but he was 49 years old when I was born, and there were few signs of it left while I was growing up. To be clear: my grandfather was far from dissatisfied and unhappy. In simple, straightforward ways, he enjoyed his life, through and through. Finally, I'll note that I am I just sharing this personal anecdote with the deep understanding that every experience and circumstance is different. It is my hope that your father found or is finding peace.
chillwaves 7y ago
I find this a cavalier attitude. I'm glad that your grandpa seems to have life a life fulfilled, but that's not the reality for many folks. If his biology allows him to trudge on, to always see the silver lining, how can you call this wisdom? Some people have a lower tolerance for suffering. Some people do not find life worth living, maybe for biological reasons. The reason I don't call this wisdom is because for many or most people, this is not an idea that can be realized through words or knowledge alone. I don't need someone to tell me to be happy. I need the ability to be happy.
- sedeki 7y ago
  I understand your sentiment, but I disagree. I think everyone should put their frustrations into perspective every now and then, instead of living to compartmentalized or as on a schedule.
- Ntrails 7y ago
  To quote a slightly off beat song... How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood And then just be in a good mood? That's all I have to say because it's a straight up fact You control your emotions it's as simple as that That's the core of the argument in basically all these things. I'm not saying it's true, but it is a perspective on life. :)
- saiya-jin 7y ago
  To give far from proper 100% analogy: I don't need somebody to tell me to start exercising to lose weight, I need a goddamn pill to make it happen! The path to happiness can be complex one, but there are myriads of possible, non-guaranteed routes - exercise, meditation, yoga, drugs legal or not, backpacking in 3rd world, fulfilling jobs, good relationships, kids, etc. Even trying will take you on a path to be a better, more balanced human being. Nobody will ever 'give you ability to be happy'. Either you will reach it yourself, in your own unique way, or you won't.
rchaud 7y ago
Frankly, I'd be more interested in knowing what your grandfather didn't say, than what he did. Lots of people who've been through traumatic experiences use positive messaging to cope. "Every day you're breathing..." is a soundbite, and can't paper over the hard work and self-reflection that's needed to heal. And even then most trauma survivors don't heal 100%. Of course your grandfather isn't obligated to talk about those parts. My parents survived a genocide in their home countries. One parent commonly says things like "God has a plan". It is the same thing: a soundbite, and not a one-size-fits-all way to live your life.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

retube 7y ago

Indeed. To select one data point: had you been born in Russia in 1923 you had only a 32% chance of making it to 1946. infant mortality, famine and then WW2 meant that 68% of the 1923 cohort died before they were 23.

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
Diederich 7y ago
Yup, it's good to point that sort of thing out. Most of the history that (I suspect) most of the readers of HN are exposed to will be quite western focused, and yes, a lot of things were fairly bad in the first half of the 20th century in the United States. But damn...things were fucking terrible in a lot of other parts of the world during that time. And more importantly, such terrible times existed, all over the world, going back forever.
- WalterBright 7y ago
  The Civil War was pretty bad for the US in terms of death rates.
majos 7y ago
Do you have a citation for this? That’s a remarkable statistic, but I want a source before I go telling people.
- majos 7y ago
  Here is a source [1]. That analysis roughly breaks down as 1/4 loss each from infant mortality; famine and Stalin’s terror; and WWII. [1] https://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/markharrison/entry/was_the_soviet/ https://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/markharrison/entry/was_the_sovie...
badpun 7y ago
> infant mortality, famine and then WW2 Don't forget the Stallinist terror (innocent people dying in concentration camps). EDIT: why the downvote? Wikipedia estimate for the victims of The Purge is at 600k-1.2m level (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Purge https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Purge), certainly enough to make a dent in the stats.

keyle 7y ago

Similar experience from me, my grand father was a resistance veteran back from WWII in Europe. He didn't talk much about it except to express the famine and misery they went through those years. He had it rough, lost his first wife young and just about everything. He never told me how to be or who to be, or what to think, he just was content to have me around, grateful for everything. Later in life, he became blind for many years, and just kept trucking along, not the complainer type. Always keeping it light-hearted basically, humouring and never judging, just caring deeply for others but himself, never wanting to be in the way of anyone, even the people paid to help him. He is to this day my biggest inspiration.

WalterBright 7y ago

> He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. My father, B-17 navigator, said he accepted that he was going to die in combat. The odds at the time of surviving were terrible (about 80% casualties). He did survive (hence my existence), and told me that whenever he felt down about something he'd remember his buddies who died in the war and how he'd been given a chance to live through it, and he'd re-appreciate his life. Upon his return to the states, the crews were led to tables to eat. There was nothing to order, the staff assured them "we know what you want." Sure enough, they did - steak, eggs, tomatoes, etc. Upon return to civilian life, he said he was astounded by the triviality of peoples' everyday life concerns. They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about?

seppin 7y ago
> Upon return to civilian life, he said he was astounded by the triviality of peoples' everyday life concerns. They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about? Perhaps the key to a well-adjusted view of life is trauma? To show you how good the rest of life can be.
- trevyn 7y ago
  I really think this is true. I don't know how to extract a prescription from that, though.
  - bamboozled 7y ago
    Can’t you just read about others stories like this and put yourself in their shoes, I guess it’s enough. There is suffering on an immense scale daily. * Warning - Following is Graphic not for sensitive people * For example I read from the comfort of my bed last night that a beekeeper just lost practically everything in Australia and when fires ripped through his property, to add insult to injury, when he went into the Forrest, all he could hear was a choir of moaning, wounded or dying animals. Koalas, kangaroos etc. One can easily be grateful this day they didn’t experience something this catastrophic and that you’re not one of those animals. You can also realise one day you might be, so while your ok, make the most of it. Link to the story, again it’s not for the sensitive: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-20/beekeepers-traumatised-by-screaming-animals-after-bushfires/11721756 https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-20/beekeepers-traumatise...

rorykoehler 7y ago

Agreed. Also on the topic of complacency it's hard to understand why the 2 thoughts would be linked (as I'm sure they are for many people). You've been given an opportunity so try take advantage. Trying your best is a minimum and I'm not even from the school of protestant work ethic thought. I suspect that conditioning from early age to submit to authority (school) plays a huge part and is ultimately very destructive for society.

crtccnt 7y ago

"Every day you're breathing is a good day." isn't something that happy people or grateful people say. If you are happy or grateful, you wouldn't even think to say it. Being happy is a state of being that doesn't require rationalization or justification. Happy children or even happy dogs are in the state of happiness and don't require lies like "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". It's been my experience that people who are unhappy or discontent try to "persevere" with trite mantra like "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". My father used to say that a lot like your grandfather. And I suspect, like my father, your grandfather was dissatisfied and unhappy. He, like my father who fought in vietnam, probably also suffered through PTSD for his entire life from the horrible things he saw and did in war. Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing", then you might as well be a plant. During the happiest times in my life, I've never even thought to say "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". It was only during the unhappy times in my life, that you have to resort to such quotes and mantra.

elSidCampeador 7y ago
I respectfully disagree. What's "trite" for you might not be trite for someone else. > Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing", then you might as well be a plant. What a weird time to be alive - apparently there is a minimum inescapable standard of what I (or anyone else) can be grateful for.
Diederich 7y ago
I think I understand the basic sentiment behind all of what you're saying, and I do appreciate you sharing it. I only have time to respond very briefly. I suspect there are some (fairly reasonable) assumptions behind your assessment here. First, my grandfather didn't say much at all. He was quiet and reserved, with only a few friends. He said "...breathing is a good day.", perhaps eight or ten times in the 18 years I lived with him, and the following 15 years I'd visit. And it was always in response to me or someone else complaining about trivial stuff. To be clear: he wasn't repeating that statement like a mantra. > Honestly, if the only thing you can be grateful for is "breathing" ... Far from it; it's a baseline of gratitude, not in any way exclusive. > During the happiest times in my life, I've never even thought to say "Every day you're breathing is a good day.". For me as well! And likely my grandfather's perspective as well. > ...grandfather was dissatisfied and unhappy ... PTSD ... My grandfather definitely dealt with PTSD for many years, but he was 49 years old when I was born, and there were few signs of it left while I was growing up. To be clear: my grandfather was far from dissatisfied and unhappy. In simple, straightforward ways, he enjoyed his life, through and through. Finally, I'll note that I am I just sharing this personal anecdote with the deep understanding that every experience and circumstance is different. It is my hope that your father found or is finding peace.

chillwaves 7y ago

I find this a cavalier attitude. I'm glad that your grandpa seems to have life a life fulfilled, but that's not the reality for many folks. If his biology allows him to trudge on, to always see the silver lining, how can you call this wisdom? Some people have a lower tolerance for suffering. Some people do not find life worth living, maybe for biological reasons. The reason I don't call this wisdom is because for many or most people, this is not an idea that can be realized through words or knowledge alone. I don't need someone to tell me to be happy. I need the ability to be happy.

sedeki 7y ago
I understand your sentiment, but I disagree. I think everyone should put their frustrations into perspective every now and then, instead of living to compartmentalized or as on a schedule.
Ntrails 7y ago
To quote a slightly off beat song... How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood And then just be in a good mood? That's all I have to say because it's a straight up fact You control your emotions it's as simple as that That's the core of the argument in basically all these things. I'm not saying it's true, but it is a perspective on life. :)
saiya-jin 7y ago
To give far from proper 100% analogy: I don't need somebody to tell me to start exercising to lose weight, I need a goddamn pill to make it happen! The path to happiness can be complex one, but there are myriads of possible, non-guaranteed routes - exercise, meditation, yoga, drugs legal or not, backpacking in 3rd world, fulfilling jobs, good relationships, kids, etc. Even trying will take you on a path to be a better, more balanced human being. Nobody will ever 'give you ability to be happy'. Either you will reach it yourself, in your own unique way, or you won't.

rchaud 7y ago

Frankly, I'd be more interested in knowing what your grandfather didn't say, than what he did. Lots of people who've been through traumatic experiences use positive messaging to cope. "Every day you're breathing..." is a soundbite, and can't paper over the hard work and self-reflection that's needed to heal. And even then most trauma survivors don't heal 100%. Of course your grandfather isn't obligated to talk about those parts. My parents survived a genocide in their home countries. One parent commonly says things like "God has a plan". It is the same thing: a soundbite, and not a one-size-fits-all way to live your life.