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Maybe I'm alone here but I almost think this is worse. Granted the manipulative aspect of using specific music to set a mood in public places can be kinda gross

Maybe I'm alone here but I almost think this is worse. Granted the manipulative aspect of using specific music to set a mood in public places can be kinda gross, but I don't like that the alternative is that now everyone's in their own bubble and further isolating themselves from the people around them.

pmoriarty 7y ago
In my experience, people are already almost completely isolated even without headphones. With or without headphones, the only strangers who come up and talk to me are people who want something from me, like beggars, people seeking directions, or people trying to sell me something. As someone who's not very social around strangers, I rarely initiate conversations with strangers myself. Listening to my own music just makes getting through the world more pleasant for me. It doesn't make me significantly more isolated.
- Ancalagon 7y ago
  You and the parent both have excellent points, and I frankly agree with both of you. I think, at least in the US, many public spaces are trending towards isolation of the population. Specifically I'm thinking of gyms (where its no longer OK to interact with someone with headphones on), or bars/clubs where the music is literally so loud you cannot talk to someone standing right next to you. I believe all of this is in some way related to us becoming more lonely/depressed, and of course we self-medicate in the only way we know how: consumption.
  - pixelbash 7y ago
    Funny, I have polar opposite opinions about those examples. I hate loud music in bars because I love to have deep random conversarions, but the last thing I want in the gym is someone talking to me.
  - filoleg 7y ago
    I think all of those have their place. There are loud bars/clubs you go to with your friends at times when you want to let all your energy out and just drink, dance, and listen to music without having to worry about carrying a conversation. There are also quieter and more fit for socializing bars and music venues, where you wanna go to shoot shit with the bartender, have a conversation with your friend you haven't seen in a while, or just relax and talk to people in your neighborhood who tent to visit that place often while chilling with a drink. And I love the fact that in most cities I've lived in within the US, there are plenty of both, because I definitely like to utilize all of those options. More choices is always better. The only example of yours I heavily disagree with is the gym one. It isn't a proper place for socializing imo, assuming you are talking about the weightlifting/cardio stuff. Team sports areas like basketball court or a soccer field (where I see a LOT of socializing happening) are a completely different story, however.
  - Godel_unicode 7y ago
    Alternatively, those are all examples of refusing to allow vaguely annoying extroverts to force their views of how the world should be on everyone around them. I just want to drink/lift/eat, please stop talking to me.
  - partyboat1586 7y ago
    You can talk to people in loud clubs, you just have to shout in their ear. Guys who are trying to pick up girls do it all the time though I've always thought it was too much effort. The smoking area is my favourite place in bars and clubs because people there are more social and no one feels pressured cos they can leave when they finish their cig or stay for another. Shame I quit smoking, there needs to be a healthy alternative that's not vaping. Vaping doesn't work because it has no natural end point.
  - psychomugs 7y ago
    Just like automating away cashiers, an increasingly isolated population is something Japan's been doing that the US is just starting to catch up to. A lot of it could be chalked up to cultural differences, but something feels off when you're in one of the most densely-populated cities and striking up conversations with strangers is taken as a big faux pas. I'm still a graduate student and I've been on campuses for a while, and the increasing normalization of walking while looking down at your phone is reaching preposterous levels to where I would rather bump into someone glued to their screen before I move out of the way for their sake. I fear the day that mouth masks to further shield away interactions comes to the West.
- hombre_fatal 7y ago
  Here are some initiatives taken by transporation organizations to encourage people to talk to each other, like introducing a "chat carriage" on the train: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/public-transport-chat-train-bus-commute-crossing-divides-loneliness-a8958261.html https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/public-transport-ch... For example: > The results showed that those asked to chat felt far more positive about their journey than those who kept to themselves, and that the longer people talked for the better they felt. A world where the only people who talk to you outside your fortress are beggars, scammers, and salesmen is a sad one. Not to say you're always ready for a conversation with a stranger every time you leave your house, but there is also a chance of serendipity in the most unlikely exchanges. I met a woman I dated for a year at a supermarket. This woman next to me was spending a lot of time comparing fruit, like gently tapping them and squeezing them. She hadn't even put one in her basket yet. I stood across from her and put some plums up to my ears as if to listen to them, mockingly, which started a conversation that we picked up that evening at a bar. It's something I think about when I err on the side of not interacting with those around me since it was a bit out of character for me. It's one of the spices of life.
  - StuffedParrot 7y ago
    The homeless actually make great conversation and it humanizes them. If you don’t give cash, at least don’t alienate them. Granted it can be very emotionally draining.
    - cartoonfoxes 7y ago
      I take it you have never been assaulted by an angry drunk before.
      - ska 7y ago
        > I take it you have never been assaulted by an angry drunk before. That's a non-sequitur. Regardless, if you are looking to get assaulted by an angry drunk talking to homeless people isn't a very effective method. For best success try pick up bars with an 20-30 year old clientele, or just accost someone on the street who is already visibly drunk and antagonistic; they are (unintuitively?) unlikely to be homeless but will often happily have a go at you.
- coldtea 7y ago
  >With or without headphones, the only strangers who come up and talk to me are people who want something from me, like beggars, people seeking directions, or people trying to sell me something In the US maybe. In other parts of the world it can be quite different...
fudged71 7y ago
It's actually hilarious when some store employees/managers will desperately try to get your attention even if you're wearing headphones to tell you about their sales. If I want to be left alone then leave me alone! (I only did this once but it was very eye opening)
- ben-schaaf 7y ago
  I've generally found that when headphones aren't enough to dissuade people from talking to me, I start intently looking at my phone like I'm reading an important email. It works wonders even if the screen is off.
leetcrew 7y ago
"earbuds in" is sort of like a social bloom filter. I'm not terribly social but I've started to try striking up casual conversation in lines and similar situations. most people don't really want to talk, but people wearing earbuds definitely don't want to talk. it's at least a mildly helpful signal.
trophycase 7y ago
No you're not alone. But most people do it because garbage mainstream "inoffensive" music is blasted almost everywhere you go
WalterBright 7y ago
> Granted the manipulative aspect of using specific music to set a mood in public places can be kinda gross I suspect many malls are pumping potpourri scent into the HVAC system. It pervades the malls.
Macha 7y ago
https://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/funny-people-looking-cellphone-newspaper.jpg https://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/funny-peop... I think the picture makes the point on its own, but at the risk of being accused of Reddit style image replies: Prior to phones, people weren't automatically any more social with random strangers than they had to be.
- Godel_unicode 7y ago
  The reason people don't like these replies is not that they're "Reddit style" but rather that they're very low information. How do we know that the "oh wait" picture is actually representative?

pmoriarty 7y ago

In my experience, people are already almost completely isolated even without headphones. With or without headphones, the only strangers who come up and talk to me are people who want something from me, like beggars, people seeking directions, or people trying to sell me something. As someone who's not very social around strangers, I rarely initiate conversations with strangers myself. Listening to my own music just makes getting through the world more pleasant for me. It doesn't make me significantly more isolated.

Ancalagon 7y ago
You and the parent both have excellent points, and I frankly agree with both of you. I think, at least in the US, many public spaces are trending towards isolation of the population. Specifically I'm thinking of gyms (where its no longer OK to interact with someone with headphones on), or bars/clubs where the music is literally so loud you cannot talk to someone standing right next to you. I believe all of this is in some way related to us becoming more lonely/depressed, and of course we self-medicate in the only way we know how: consumption.
- pixelbash 7y ago
  Funny, I have polar opposite opinions about those examples. I hate loud music in bars because I love to have deep random conversarions, but the last thing I want in the gym is someone talking to me.
- filoleg 7y ago
  I think all of those have their place. There are loud bars/clubs you go to with your friends at times when you want to let all your energy out and just drink, dance, and listen to music without having to worry about carrying a conversation. There are also quieter and more fit for socializing bars and music venues, where you wanna go to shoot shit with the bartender, have a conversation with your friend you haven't seen in a while, or just relax and talk to people in your neighborhood who tent to visit that place often while chilling with a drink. And I love the fact that in most cities I've lived in within the US, there are plenty of both, because I definitely like to utilize all of those options. More choices is always better. The only example of yours I heavily disagree with is the gym one. It isn't a proper place for socializing imo, assuming you are talking about the weightlifting/cardio stuff. Team sports areas like basketball court or a soccer field (where I see a LOT of socializing happening) are a completely different story, however.
- Godel_unicode 7y ago
  Alternatively, those are all examples of refusing to allow vaguely annoying extroverts to force their views of how the world should be on everyone around them. I just want to drink/lift/eat, please stop talking to me.
- partyboat1586 7y ago
  You can talk to people in loud clubs, you just have to shout in their ear. Guys who are trying to pick up girls do it all the time though I've always thought it was too much effort. The smoking area is my favourite place in bars and clubs because people there are more social and no one feels pressured cos they can leave when they finish their cig or stay for another. Shame I quit smoking, there needs to be a healthy alternative that's not vaping. Vaping doesn't work because it has no natural end point.
- psychomugs 7y ago
  Just like automating away cashiers, an increasingly isolated population is something Japan's been doing that the US is just starting to catch up to. A lot of it could be chalked up to cultural differences, but something feels off when you're in one of the most densely-populated cities and striking up conversations with strangers is taken as a big faux pas. I'm still a graduate student and I've been on campuses for a while, and the increasing normalization of walking while looking down at your phone is reaching preposterous levels to where I would rather bump into someone glued to their screen before I move out of the way for their sake. I fear the day that mouth masks to further shield away interactions comes to the West.
hombre_fatal 7y ago
Here are some initiatives taken by transporation organizations to encourage people to talk to each other, like introducing a "chat carriage" on the train: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/public-transport-chat-train-bus-commute-crossing-divides-loneliness-a8958261.html https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/public-transport-ch... For example: > The results showed that those asked to chat felt far more positive about their journey than those who kept to themselves, and that the longer people talked for the better they felt. A world where the only people who talk to you outside your fortress are beggars, scammers, and salesmen is a sad one. Not to say you're always ready for a conversation with a stranger every time you leave your house, but there is also a chance of serendipity in the most unlikely exchanges. I met a woman I dated for a year at a supermarket. This woman next to me was spending a lot of time comparing fruit, like gently tapping them and squeezing them. She hadn't even put one in her basket yet. I stood across from her and put some plums up to my ears as if to listen to them, mockingly, which started a conversation that we picked up that evening at a bar. It's something I think about when I err on the side of not interacting with those around me since it was a bit out of character for me. It's one of the spices of life.
- StuffedParrot 7y ago
  The homeless actually make great conversation and it humanizes them. If you don’t give cash, at least don’t alienate them. Granted it can be very emotionally draining.
  - cartoonfoxes 7y ago
    I take it you have never been assaulted by an angry drunk before.
    - ska 7y ago
      > I take it you have never been assaulted by an angry drunk before. That's a non-sequitur. Regardless, if you are looking to get assaulted by an angry drunk talking to homeless people isn't a very effective method. For best success try pick up bars with an 20-30 year old clientele, or just accost someone on the street who is already visibly drunk and antagonistic; they are (unintuitively?) unlikely to be homeless but will often happily have a go at you.
coldtea 7y ago
>With or without headphones, the only strangers who come up and talk to me are people who want something from me, like beggars, people seeking directions, or people trying to sell me something In the US maybe. In other parts of the world it can be quite different...

fudged71 7y ago

It's actually hilarious when some store employees/managers will desperately try to get your attention even if you're wearing headphones to tell you about their sales. If I want to be left alone then leave me alone! (I only did this once but it was very eye opening)

ben-schaaf 7y ago
I've generally found that when headphones aren't enough to dissuade people from talking to me, I start intently looking at my phone like I'm reading an important email. It works wonders even if the screen is off.

leetcrew 7y ago

"earbuds in" is sort of like a social bloom filter. I'm not terribly social but I've started to try striking up casual conversation in lines and similar situations. most people don't really want to talk, but people wearing earbuds definitely don't want to talk. it's at least a mildly helpful signal.

trophycase 7y ago

No you're not alone. But most people do it because garbage mainstream "inoffensive" music is blasted almost everywhere you go

WalterBright 7y ago

> Granted the manipulative aspect of using specific music to set a mood in public places can be kinda gross I suspect many malls are pumping potpourri scent into the HVAC system. It pervades the malls.

Macha 7y ago

https://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/funny-people-looking-cellphone-newspaper.jpg https://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/funny-peop... I think the picture makes the point on its own, but at the risk of being accused of Reddit style image replies: Prior to phones, people weren't automatically any more social with random strangers than they had to be.

Godel_unicode 7y ago
The reason people don't like these replies is not that they're "Reddit style" but rather that they're very low information. How do we know that the "oh wait" picture is actually representative?