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Are you me? Some of my personal anecdotes going through the exact same circumstances (I'm also currently applying for dual US/Irish citizenship): 1) I hate wo

Are you me? Some of my personal anecdotes going through the exact same circumstances (I'm also currently applying for dual US/Irish citizenship): 1) I hate working out. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel momentously better afterwards. I have not worked out consistently in the last 12 mo. 2) I hate cooking and cleaning up after cooking. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel better afterwards. I have not done significant amounts of home cooking in the last 12 mo. 3) Despite being a severely introverted individual I've become the person to push for more outings within my (small) social group. And I feel better afterwards. 4) I've gained about ~20 lbs in the last 12 mo. 5) I am tremendously comfortable with my current remote work and decent salary but I am not at all happy in a general sense 6) I worry my career is stagnating as I near my 2 year mark in this role. Hearing about the salaries my colleagues are getting at other companies contributes to 7) I've been using Tinder for casual dating. Recently I realized I really, really, don't want to use a Match Group product as the cornerstone of my dating life so now I'm trying to do it in more "natural" ways, but due to the above I find myself not being a great candidate. Overall, working remotely has contributed greatly to a sense of depression and anxiety I carry almost every day. However I've been dealing with it long enough that I think I have a good sense of it, I'm doing better these past few months then the rest of the year combined and have clear goals (like the working out) that will help me do better. I hope these points aren't too candid, I just figured many in this community could be going through the same things and hearing a shared story would help.

jpgvm 7y ago
The only real piece of advice I have for changing those things is committing to it. Losing weight is a good place to start, it has easily observable results and you can go at your own pace. I lost 20kg in 6mo when I started travelling, it was my first "change my life" goal and it made it a lot easier to start on other things that I hoped would be beneficial for me long-term - like finally starting on getting my teeth fixed despite my fear of dentists. Finding the first win helps a ton. :)
oldboyFX 7y ago
> I hate doing a healthy thing. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel momentously better afterwards. Ah yes, that's familiar.
matwood 7y ago
I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you. I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we want to work. I can workout at 10am or go train BJJ at 9:30am. Instead of having to shape my day around work, I can shape work around my day. The personal agency aspect is the biggest benefit for me, and one that I would be hard pressed to ever give up at this point. BTW, working from home should make it much easier to maintain the weight you want since healthy food options should be easier at home. WFH means I can throw some chicken and veggies on the grill at lunch for a healthy and cheap meal.
- katbyte 7y ago
  This is exactly why i will never work in an office again. - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread) - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening - seeing friends is easier than ever as i can be social on their schedule - i don't always take vacation to travel and explore as i can work from anywhere - assuming a generously short commute of 30 min plus 15 min to get ready/unpack on either end thats at least 1.5 hours a day back to do whatever i want with
  - eternalny1 7y ago
    I am the OP on this thread, and I totally agree with you (and almost everyone else who has replied). There are massive perks to working remotely and I will never (hopefully), ever have to work in an office and commute again. You have to be extremely disciplined, and have a company that knows how to set requirements properly. If you have that, and you know exactly what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by, then you are set. Do it, and then do whatever else you want. Wake up whenever, take a 3 hour lunch break, it doesn't matter. I worked 4 hours this Sunday AM because I had nothing else to do and I wanted to get progress done on my current task. This is the proper way to work, especially so for software engineers, where everything can be done 100% the same remotely as it can be done in an office.
blaser-waffle 7y ago
You're not alone here. Pretty much the same boat. USA-ian in a different country working remotely. Going on ~5 years now. I can definitely echo the sentiments about gaining weight, working out, cooking, and depression and anxiety. I've got a grasp on the issues, and I could probably "make it work" for a while longer, but I'm old enough and at a point in my career where "make it work" is a lazy cop-out; I can afford to push for "good" or even "great", and feel like I should. But long term remote work just kills inertia.
Volundr 7y ago
Working out: If possible I highly advise finding a workout partner. I lift weights with a (now-ex) co-worker, and it makes the workout significantly more enjoyable, and provides motivation to keep me going, even on days he can't make it (don't want to fall behind!). Alternatively, consider a class. A dance class can be great for both 1 & 7 (note: don't be that guy who hits on every woman in your class, no one likes that guy), but it could be anything, martial arts, gymnastics/ninja warrior, racketball, etc.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

jpgvm 7y ago

The only real piece of advice I have for changing those things is committing to it. Losing weight is a good place to start, it has easily observable results and you can go at your own pace. I lost 20kg in 6mo when I started travelling, it was my first "change my life" goal and it made it a lot easier to start on other things that I hoped would be beneficial for me long-term - like finally starting on getting my teeth fixed despite my fear of dentists. Finding the first win helps a ton. :)

oldboyFX 7y ago

> I hate doing a healthy thing. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel momentously better afterwards. Ah yes, that's familiar.

matwood 7y ago

I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you. I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we want to work. I can workout at 10am or go train BJJ at 9:30am. Instead of having to shape my day around work, I can shape work around my day. The personal agency aspect is the biggest benefit for me, and one that I would be hard pressed to ever give up at this point. BTW, working from home should make it much easier to maintain the weight you want since healthy food options should be easier at home. WFH means I can throw some chicken and veggies on the grill at lunch for a healthy and cheap meal.

katbyte 7y ago
This is exactly why i will never work in an office again. - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread) - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening - seeing friends is easier than ever as i can be social on their schedule - i don't always take vacation to travel and explore as i can work from anywhere - assuming a generously short commute of 30 min plus 15 min to get ready/unpack on either end thats at least 1.5 hours a day back to do whatever i want with
- eternalny1 7y ago
  I am the OP on this thread, and I totally agree with you (and almost everyone else who has replied). There are massive perks to working remotely and I will never (hopefully), ever have to work in an office and commute again. You have to be extremely disciplined, and have a company that knows how to set requirements properly. If you have that, and you know exactly what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by, then you are set. Do it, and then do whatever else you want. Wake up whenever, take a 3 hour lunch break, it doesn't matter. I worked 4 hours this Sunday AM because I had nothing else to do and I wanted to get progress done on my current task. This is the proper way to work, especially so for software engineers, where everything can be done 100% the same remotely as it can be done in an office.

blaser-waffle 7y ago

You're not alone here. Pretty much the same boat. USA-ian in a different country working remotely. Going on ~5 years now. I can definitely echo the sentiments about gaining weight, working out, cooking, and depression and anxiety. I've got a grasp on the issues, and I could probably "make it work" for a while longer, but I'm old enough and at a point in my career where "make it work" is a lazy cop-out; I can afford to push for "good" or even "great", and feel like I should. But long term remote work just kills inertia.

Volundr 7y ago

Working out: If possible I highly advise finding a workout partner. I lift weights with a (now-ex) co-worker, and it makes the workout significantly more enjoyable, and provides motivation to keep me going, even on days he can't make it (don't want to fall behind!). Alternatively, consider a class. A dance class can be great for both 1 & 7 (note: don't be that guy who hits on every woman in your class, no one likes that guy), but it could be anything, martial arts, gymnastics/ninja warrior, racketball, etc.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]