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That’s a good example of the problem. Your reacting emotionally internally didn’t help you do a better job, and may have been a liability, so a less emotional p

That’s a good example of the problem. Your reacting emotionally internally didn’t help you do a better job, and may have been a liability, so a less emotional person may have been more qualified to mediate. Also, you took on a job no one asked you to do, and then complained about the cost using the emotional labor term as an acceptable ploy for sympathy. One of the biggest (and unintended) benefits of the emotional labor movement is detecting either martyr-like or unhelpful behavior at home and the workplace and coaching the person towards stopping it.

peterwwillis 7y ago
That's a strange response. I never complained, and I certainly never looked for sympathy. Also, is the martyr comment directed toward me? My story is more one of explaining how what I experienced could be invisible, as nobody came to me and said, wow, you must have gone through a lot. But people do go through a lot, and it's often invisible. In my case I "volunteered" for it, but others may be expected to take it on, which I imagine is more stressful.
- 1123581321 7y ago
  Yes, it was directed at you (and others who act similarly.) I also am glad you shared your experience and liked your comment.
ghgfhgfhn 7y ago
This is peak hacker news. Maybe one day we will wake up and not be able to tell the difference between the machines and the programmers.
- 1123581321 7y ago
  Ultimately, it’s a problem wide liberal arts literacy will solve. In the interim, it’s okay to turn bad quantification against itself.
sfink 7y ago
On the other hand, many situations like this require someone who isn't emotionally insensitive. The hypothetical person who would be less reactive may very well not notice that there was trouble looming in the first place, and so would have no reason to moderate. (And if nobody steps up, it's very very common for things to descend into flamewars or at least very subjective argumentation.)

peterwwillis 7y ago

That's a strange response. I never complained, and I certainly never looked for sympathy. Also, is the martyr comment directed toward me? My story is more one of explaining how what I experienced could be invisible, as nobody came to me and said, wow, you must have gone through a lot. But people do go through a lot, and it's often invisible. In my case I "volunteered" for it, but others may be expected to take it on, which I imagine is more stressful.

1123581321 7y ago
Yes, it was directed at you (and others who act similarly.) I also am glad you shared your experience and liked your comment.

ghgfhgfhn 7y ago

This is peak hacker news. Maybe one day we will wake up and not be able to tell the difference between the machines and the programmers.

1123581321 7y ago
Ultimately, it’s a problem wide liberal arts literacy will solve. In the interim, it’s okay to turn bad quantification against itself.

sfink 7y ago

On the other hand, many situations like this require someone who isn't emotionally insensitive. The hypothetical person who would be less reactive may very well not notice that there was trouble looming in the first place, and so would have no reason to moderate. (And if nobody steps up, it's very very common for things to descend into flamewars or at least very subjective argumentation.)