14 ms·

I think it's a fatal flaw in the dating site business model, to be honest. Their incentive is for you to stay on the site for as long as possible. If you could

I think it's a fatal flaw in the dating site business model, to be honest. Their incentive is for you to stay on the site for as long as possible. If you could find a relationship quickly and then they would leave the site quickly. This would reduce the amount of ad and subscription revenue, in addition to reducing the size of the pool of "potential matches", discouraging those who have more trouble finding someone.

bigwavedave 7y ago
Ah yes, the only profession aside from medicine that exists to eradicate itself.
- bitexploder 7y ago
  I work in information security and we have effectively consulted ourselves out of a job and were happy to do it. Some customers only need our help for a while, others need it for much longer :)
- warent 7y ago
  I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. I'm inferring a tone of sarcasm from your comment but I'm not sure what you're really trying to communicate here.
  - xeromal 7y ago
    I don't think they're being sarcastic. It's a market that when done efficiently and successfully, puts itself out of business. The better medicine gets, the less patients they get.
- taneq 7y ago
  The goal of any consultancy should be to get your clients to the point where they no longer need you.
  - canada_dry 7y ago
    [Cough] Gov't consulting companies would like a word.
    - taneq 7y ago
      Well I did say "should". :/ Also there's a difference between specialist consultancies and contract labour hire. I'd say most government contractors fall into the latter camp.
  - acheron 7y ago
    "Consulting: If you can't be part of the solution, there's a lot of money to be made prolonging the problem."
- smsm42 7y ago
  Medicine does no more eradicate itself than food industry does. Of course, once you've eaten in a restaurant, you are not hungry anymore, but that's far cry from food industry "eradicating itself".
- CM30 7y ago
  Not quite. Teaching counts too, with the the end result of a good tutor being that they're not needed any more (same with a college or university).Quicker you pass say your driving test, the less money the instructor makes.
  - davnicwil 7y ago
    > Quicker you pass say your driving test, the less money the instructor makes Only if people never recommend driving instructors to friends and family. If they do, a driving instructor who consistently has people passing their test quickly is much more likely to make more money long term
fragmede 7y ago
It's a fatal flaw in the monthly subscription-based model, to be sure, but I don't think that many customers are subscribed for months on end - either they find someone, or give up (on that particular website/app) because "it isn't working". Thus, a feature-driven per-use pricing scheme which Tinder uses for "Super Likes". It sells them a la carte even if you don't have a subscription. (They also have a traditional scription model.)
noitsnot 7y ago
The interesting thing is this is Hinge's business model but they have the problem of abandoned accounts sitting there instead of people deleting them for whatever reason.
- jborichevskiy 7y ago
  I may be misremembering the specific app and timeline but I’m fairly sure Hinge sent me an email among the lines of “you look like you’re no longer active so we’re hiding your account” after a few days of inactivity.
trevor-e 7y ago
This is not unique to the dating industry, other industries get by just fine without resorting to outright fraud.
- amelius 7y ago
  In other industries it is called growth-hacking, but in the dating industry the business model depends on it, even when the business has reached maturity.
dehrmann 7y ago
Okcuipd (and Sparknotes!) co-founder Christian Rudder wrote an article entitled "Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating" saying exactly that. When Match Group acquired them, they took it down. I found a mirror, though. https://web.archive.org/web/20190429100515/https://static.izs.me/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating.html https://web.archive.org/web/20190429100515/https://static.iz...
- jdm2212 7y ago
  That's an amazing article. (Like, good enough that I'm not just upvoting you, but also telling everyone else to read it. It's worth it.) I had no idea the numbers were that bad. And I can see why it got taken down after the acquisition.
  - arthurofbabylon 7y ago
    So good that I won’t just upvote your comment but again tell people: read it!
  - Dirlewanger 7y ago
    It's really too bad. Before they were acquired, they had all kinds of data-driven articles/discussions like this. Some really pissed people off too (mainly because they didn't like the data revealed). This was back in the day when OkCupid still had old-school forums. It seems like you can't even find any data-related articles before 2016. How things have changed. Really sad.
- Simon_says 7y ago
  That’s brutal. My new hypothesis is that Match acquired OKC just to get Rudder to STFU.
  - vanderZwan 7y ago
    The OKC blog was also full of good advice and interesting research about how online dating works. In some sense it was probably considered a threat that was revealing trade secrets.
fortran77 7y ago
It would be nice to have a dating site where potential matches were verified, including height, weight, and photo. Perhaps have them visit a kiosk in a participating business to get a photo taken from a standard angle (no "myspace" angles) along with a verified height and weight (stand on a scale!)
- toastal 7y ago
  People wanting to flatter themselves? The nerve. Get off your high horse.
  - KibbutzDalia 7y ago
    It’s making sure people are honest. I’m making no judgements. Some people use photos that aren’t even of them. Is that ok?
  - CuriouslyC 7y ago
    You're missing the fact that deceptive profiles negatively impact the experiences of everyone they interact with. Robbery? People just want to enrich themselves. Rape? People just want to pleasure themselves. The nerve of society to criminalize these behaviors, we should all get the fuck off our collective high horses.
    - toastal 7y ago
      If you're going to say adjusting a photo angle is equivalent to rape, please never use a dating website.
      - CuriouslyC 7y ago
        If you're going to be so obtuse that you can't understand a logical analogy, please never debate people on the internet.
  - __david__ 7y ago
    There’s a huge difference in flattering yourself and exaggerating to the point of misrepresentation.
vadym909 7y ago
isn't this the job board model too? Indeed, ZipRecruiter, Linkedin?
- averros 7y ago
  No, LinkedIn works to establish the network of professional connections which stays with you even when you got a job. Now, I'm not sure if these are of any worth (I never got anything useful out of LinkedIn... either people trying to sell me something, or colleagues I know already). I've heard of people (of gold digger kind) using LinkedIn as a dating site.
beefield 7y ago
> I think it's a fatal flaw in the dating site business model, to be honest. I think it is just one exhibit of the fatal flaw of the idea that shareholder value maximization is the correct objective of a corporation. The very original raison d'etre of limited libility was to enhance wellbeing of public, not shareholders. And for some reason that has been forgotten. (No, I have no good solutions for proper corporate governance, but I still think acknowledging we have a problem is the first step.)
baron816 7y ago
In reality, dating sites/apps are really first date apps (even when they're being honest, not like here). I would like to see a start up that will connect you to someone, but their business model is around keeping you connected. So much of their tech is around curating good dates and helping you maintain a healthy relationship.
ainiriand 7y ago
Well I met my wife with OKCupid so can't complain! It really worked for me.

bigwavedave 7y ago

Ah yes, the only profession aside from medicine that exists to eradicate itself.

bitexploder 7y ago
I work in information security and we have effectively consulted ourselves out of a job and were happy to do it. Some customers only need our help for a while, others need it for much longer :)
warent 7y ago
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. I'm inferring a tone of sarcasm from your comment but I'm not sure what you're really trying to communicate here.
- xeromal 7y ago
  I don't think they're being sarcastic. It's a market that when done efficiently and successfully, puts itself out of business. The better medicine gets, the less patients they get.
taneq 7y ago
The goal of any consultancy should be to get your clients to the point where they no longer need you.
- canada_dry 7y ago
  [Cough] Gov't consulting companies would like a word.
  - taneq 7y ago
    Well I did say "should". :/ Also there's a difference between specialist consultancies and contract labour hire. I'd say most government contractors fall into the latter camp.
- acheron 7y ago
  "Consulting: If you can't be part of the solution, there's a lot of money to be made prolonging the problem."
smsm42 7y ago
Medicine does no more eradicate itself than food industry does. Of course, once you've eaten in a restaurant, you are not hungry anymore, but that's far cry from food industry "eradicating itself".
CM30 7y ago
Not quite. Teaching counts too, with the the end result of a good tutor being that they're not needed any more (same with a college or university).Quicker you pass say your driving test, the less money the instructor makes.
- davnicwil 7y ago
  > Quicker you pass say your driving test, the less money the instructor makes Only if people never recommend driving instructors to friends and family. If they do, a driving instructor who consistently has people passing their test quickly is much more likely to make more money long term

fragmede 7y ago

It's a fatal flaw in the monthly subscription-based model, to be sure, but I don't think that many customers are subscribed for months on end - either they find someone, or give up (on that particular website/app) because "it isn't working". Thus, a feature-driven per-use pricing scheme which Tinder uses for "Super Likes". It sells them a la carte even if you don't have a subscription. (They also have a traditional scription model.)

noitsnot 7y ago

The interesting thing is this is Hinge's business model but they have the problem of abandoned accounts sitting there instead of people deleting them for whatever reason.

jborichevskiy 7y ago
I may be misremembering the specific app and timeline but I’m fairly sure Hinge sent me an email among the lines of “you look like you’re no longer active so we’re hiding your account” after a few days of inactivity.

trevor-e 7y ago

This is not unique to the dating industry, other industries get by just fine without resorting to outright fraud.

amelius 7y ago
In other industries it is called growth-hacking, but in the dating industry the business model depends on it, even when the business has reached maturity.

dehrmann 7y ago

Okcuipd (and Sparknotes!) co-founder Christian Rudder wrote an article entitled "Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating" saying exactly that. When Match Group acquired them, they took it down. I found a mirror, though. https://web.archive.org/web/20190429100515/https://static.izs.me/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating.html https://web.archive.org/web/20190429100515/https://static.iz...

jdm2212 7y ago
That's an amazing article. (Like, good enough that I'm not just upvoting you, but also telling everyone else to read it. It's worth it.) I had no idea the numbers were that bad. And I can see why it got taken down after the acquisition.
- arthurofbabylon 7y ago
  So good that I won’t just upvote your comment but again tell people: read it!
- Dirlewanger 7y ago
  It's really too bad. Before they were acquired, they had all kinds of data-driven articles/discussions like this. Some really pissed people off too (mainly because they didn't like the data revealed). This was back in the day when OkCupid still had old-school forums. It seems like you can't even find any data-related articles before 2016. How things have changed. Really sad.
Simon_says 7y ago
That’s brutal. My new hypothesis is that Match acquired OKC just to get Rudder to STFU.
- vanderZwan 7y ago
  The OKC blog was also full of good advice and interesting research about how online dating works. In some sense it was probably considered a threat that was revealing trade secrets.

fortran77 7y ago

It would be nice to have a dating site where potential matches were verified, including height, weight, and photo. Perhaps have them visit a kiosk in a participating business to get a photo taken from a standard angle (no "myspace" angles) along with a verified height and weight (stand on a scale!)

toastal 7y ago
People wanting to flatter themselves? The nerve. Get off your high horse.
- KibbutzDalia 7y ago
  It’s making sure people are honest. I’m making no judgements. Some people use photos that aren’t even of them. Is that ok?
- CuriouslyC 7y ago
  You're missing the fact that deceptive profiles negatively impact the experiences of everyone they interact with. Robbery? People just want to enrich themselves. Rape? People just want to pleasure themselves. The nerve of society to criminalize these behaviors, we should all get the fuck off our collective high horses.
  - toastal 7y ago
    If you're going to say adjusting a photo angle is equivalent to rape, please never use a dating website.
    - CuriouslyC 7y ago
      If you're going to be so obtuse that you can't understand a logical analogy, please never debate people on the internet.
- __david__ 7y ago
  There’s a huge difference in flattering yourself and exaggerating to the point of misrepresentation.

vadym909 7y ago

isn't this the job board model too? Indeed, ZipRecruiter, Linkedin?

averros 7y ago
No, LinkedIn works to establish the network of professional connections which stays with you even when you got a job. Now, I'm not sure if these are of any worth (I never got anything useful out of LinkedIn... either people trying to sell me something, or colleagues I know already). I've heard of people (of gold digger kind) using LinkedIn as a dating site.

beefield 7y ago

> I think it's a fatal flaw in the dating site business model, to be honest. I think it is just one exhibit of the fatal flaw of the idea that shareholder value maximization is the correct objective of a corporation. The very original raison d'etre of limited libility was to enhance wellbeing of public, not shareholders. And for some reason that has been forgotten. (No, I have no good solutions for proper corporate governance, but I still think acknowledging we have a problem is the first step.)

baron816 7y ago

In reality, dating sites/apps are really first date apps (even when they're being honest, not like here). I would like to see a start up that will connect you to someone, but their business model is around keeping you connected. So much of their tech is around curating good dates and helping you maintain a healthy relationship.

ainiriand 7y ago

Well I met my wife with OKCupid so can't complain! It really worked for me.