5 ms·
That'll be the day when we get accurate measurements from things where pride and ego is on the line and the sunk cost is glacial. "I spent a chunk of my life t
by tony 7y ago
That'll be the day when we get accurate measurements from things where pride and ego is on the line and the sunk cost is glacial.
"I spent a chunk of my life trying to be successful in an overdone, woefully lopsided, race-to-the-bottom social creation. I wasn't even mildly successful in the attempt. Nobody acknowledges my effort/sincerity/investment, in fact I learned it's exchangeable for nothing. Trying to follow the dream, I compromised my dignity and integrity in bid to succeed. I feel I failed at a fundamental goal 'everyone' is expected to do to 'make it'" (fear of missing out)
"Jim spent years of his attending college, moving and settling in an apartment hours away from home. While he attended courses for 3 years, he didn't complete enough credits to finish the degree. He's still paying off his loans. When job searching, it took weeks to even get a lukewarm response for his resume. In desperation, Jim drastically lowered his standards, not telling anyone, redoing his resume to adapt to different positions even when they offered little long term growth, in hopes of getting any feedback. On some resumes, he even lied about his qualifications. One time Jim even drove 5 hours to meetup for coffee that turned out to be a MLM recruiter" (failure at career)
"Jacob burned thousands of hours on dating apps. Most thwarted his bid for physical proximity, let alone emotional support, security, and reliability expected in a partner. He was routinely spurned by individuals he thought unremarkable, which he'd never consider or even notice in real life. Trying to make himself more appealing, he lied about his height and income. On some occasions, Jacob spent months chatting with a connection, investing enormous amounts of time in hopes of meeting them, only for them to ghost him. On the rare occasion he finally met someone in person, they looked much different than their pic. One time, a date revealed being courted by many others over years and still using the app actively." (failure at love)
Work and love is a life and death thing. The day people candidly report they sunk time/effort and they were hurt/humiliated attempting to conform to "normal" social escapades, pigs will fly.
That said, I know many people who were successful at online dating, and of course college (with varying extents of completion). Of those, I think their positive outcome is in spite of the avenue/venue picked. They were uniformly great communicators/empaths/confident and very motivated.
- strenholme 7y ago>>>they looked much different than their photograph<<< You know, I hear this a lot. One thing I learned early on in dating was to, from someone’s photographs, figure out how they look in real life. It’s comes down to this: Are they hiding something in the photographs? If there are no full-body pictures of them simply standing in front of the camera, you have no idea what they look like until you meet them.
- Scoundreller 7y agoI think I overfit this thought once on online dating. I was thinking a particular person had no left arm because their profile just happened to exclude this side. Turned out to be false.
- sukilot 7y agoThe absurdity of your analysis shines when one considers that the best place to meet a spouse besides online dating is... at college.
- tony 7y agoI don't see how that refutes my point. Also, while I stand by my post, I wouldn't call it an analysis. They're example scenarios to illustrate reporting bias. So to your comment about meeting a spouse online, or at college, etc. I don't think we're getting accurate information on outcomes. Hm, put it this way: If someone has a hope of meeting a spouse through a particular venue, invest in it, and it doesn't work out, can we count on them report the failure? So when an analysis actually does happen, we have everything ready to see?
- tlringer 7y agoHow do we gather divorce statistics? Because divorce is an extreme case of what you mention, and a very common one.
- tony 7y agoBut can we count on people to candidly self-report failure, even when it's optional? In either anecdotes or a research journal? I don't believe so. Aside: There's better exceptions to my original post, e.g. in US we release outcome statistics at schools. - https://www2.ed.gov/rschstat/catalog/student-outcomes.html https://www2.ed.gov/rschstat/catalog/student-outcomes.html (outcomes) - https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/about/data-center/student/portfolio https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/about/data-center/student/portf... (loans) So we even get data in some cases. But experiences in many things like dating and job searching isn't mandatory for everyone to report. And sometimes the most impactful things don't fit into Pandas tables well :)
- agilebyte 7y agoIs "someone" only "investing" in life with the expectation of a desired outcome - being married - otherwise it's all a failure and for naught? That'd be a sad analysis to read. I'd rather see them write a whole journal full of experiences they've had, people they've met and what they've learned about themselves. That's where the riches would be.