4 ms·

But there is a secret: The goal is not to raise good kids. The goal is to raise good adults.

by synnik 16y ago

bartonfink 16y ago
I have a daughter on the way in May, and of all the parenting books I've read to try to prepare, that may be the most insightful thing on the subject I've seen. You just floored me. Good f'ing show, sir - good f'ing show.
- wazoox 16y ago
  If you want another free, sincere advice : what you say doesn't matter, only how you behave, because the children just imitate you. For a start, never, ever lie to children, or try to trump or manipulate them.
cabalamat 16y ago
That's the problem with parenting: you don't know if you've done it right until your kids are 25.
pbhjpbhj 16y ago
>The goal is not to raise good kids. The goal is to raise good adults. This sounds like an empty aphorism to me. I don't want my kids to be just good adults I want them to be good kids too. I don't mean good in the sense of undemanding behaviourly or conforming or that sort of thing I mean I want them to be fulfilled as much as possible in their childhood too, happy. Someone just accused me of being unnecessarily argumentative so I'm wary of that. But, really one does have to define what a good adult is and consider what you mean to obviate by "not [raising] good kids".
- synnik 16y ago
  I find it to be far from empty, and it helps me in my decisions. shrug Raising good adults does not preclude raising good kids, so I do find your response to be a bit combative. Just because you have one clear goal in mind does not mean that other goals are not achieved along the way. I don't really want to get into details of how I apply this concept to my parenting -- my reason for posting was exactly the opposite. I want parents to stop (for a moment) focusing on the details, stop worrying about specific techniques, and look at the bigger picture - what are you really striving for over the next 5, 10, 20 years with your kids? And are your current actions supporting that?
  - pbhjpbhj 16y ago
    >Raising good adults does not preclude raising good kids, so I do find your response to be a bit combative. It's the "not to raise good kids" part that turns me off. Surely it should be "to raise good kids _and_ good adults"?
johngalt 16y ago
Of course the idea is to mature them, but what does maturity mean? How do you reach that point? Do you think my method won't get you there?
- synnik 16y ago
  I think your statements are accurate. I was not disagreeing with what you said, just pointing out a deeper goal behind it.

But there is a secret: The goal is not to raise good kids. The goal is to raise good adults.

by synnik 16y ago

But there is a secret: The goal is not to raise good kids. The goal is to raise good adults.

I have a daughter on the way in May, and of all the parenting books I've read to try to prepare, that may be the most insightful thing on the subject I've seen. You just floored me. Good f'ing show, sir - good f'ing show.

wazoox 16y ago
If you want another free, sincere advice : what you say doesn't matter, only how you behave, because the children just imitate you. For a start, never, ever lie to children, or try to trump or manipulate them.

cabalamat 16y ago

That's the problem with parenting: you don't know if you've done it right until your kids are 25.

pbhjpbhj 16y ago

>The goal is not to raise good kids. The goal is to raise good adults. This sounds like an empty aphorism to me. I don't want my kids to be just good adults I want them to be good kids too. I don't mean good in the sense of undemanding behaviourly or conforming or that sort of thing I mean I want them to be fulfilled as much as possible in their childhood too, happy. Someone just accused me of being unnecessarily argumentative so I'm wary of that. But, really one does have to define what a good adult is and consider what you mean to obviate by "not [raising] good kids".

synnik 16y ago
I find it to be far from empty, and it helps me in my decisions. shrug Raising good adults does not preclude raising good kids, so I do find your response to be a bit combative. Just because you have one clear goal in mind does not mean that other goals are not achieved along the way. I don't really want to get into details of how I apply this concept to my parenting -- my reason for posting was exactly the opposite. I want parents to stop (for a moment) focusing on the details, stop worrying about specific techniques, and look at the bigger picture - what are you really striving for over the next 5, 10, 20 years with your kids? And are your current actions supporting that?
- pbhjpbhj 16y ago
  >Raising good adults does not preclude raising good kids, so I do find your response to be a bit combative. It's the "not to raise good kids" part that turns me off. Surely it should be "to raise good kids _and_ good adults"?

johngalt 16y ago

Of course the idea is to mature them, but what does maturity mean? How do you reach that point? Do you think my method won't get you there?

synnik 16y ago
I think your statements are accurate. I was not disagreeing with what you said, just pointing out a deeper goal behind it.